Why does social interaction seem so effortless to everyone I see but me?
Recently I came out of a long term relationship; it was scary as hell.I had absolutely no idea how to approach or talk to women with an underlying romantic premise.When I spoke to my friends about how weird it was, they were like:“Mike it’s easy! Just go up to a girl and just let it flow!”What does that even mean? Let it flow? It is not easy!But when I started to think about it, my friends had countless more years of practice than I have:They started years earlier and so got used to handling and approaching the situation.They felt less fear as they appreciated that it really was not that hard.It got to a point where they associated the whole situation as fun and exciting instead of scary and frightening.Now, to answer your question:Why does social interaction seem so effortless to everyone I see but me?Similar to me re-entering the dating scene, for you it may be a similar battle with the social scene.You mention you are introverted; whilst everyone else was actively jumping into these opportunities years ago you may have opted to stay at home and read a book, or be in smaller groups etc.As a result you simply have not racked up the practice!Read about small talk methods and ways to communicate wellSlowly, ease yourself in to scenarios where you can take opportunities to develop your skills.Start to appreciate the benefits of it all.Applied practice makes perfect.I hope this helps!-MikeIf you want mindset coaching email me at mike@invinciblementality.comSee also: Fear 101: How To Overcome Fear
How do I approach someone I like without seeming needy?
You are using the word “needy" in a negative way, so I will answer with your use of that word. Find a common situation the two of you attend frequently, such as a classroom, a coffee shop, a bus stop- wherever it is you see this person. Since this is a common place to see each other, there will be a sense of comfortableness, not neediness, in being there. Begin by always smiling and saying hello when you see this person. Gradually increase the greeting to include a short question or comment about a neutral topic, such as the weather, the classwork, if there is a coffee shop along your route. Listen to them and pay attention to body language. If they seem interested, try a little more conversation on a variety of topics until you strike one they have interest in or until they offer a reciprocal conversation about something that interests them. Keep it short and you won't seem “needy". If you are patient and wait until they make a suggestion to further your conversations outside of your normal meeting spot, then it will be on their terms and they will feel comfortable.
Why do some girls attract guys effortlessly?
Some people are just naturally like this, they just have a little something about them. I know what you mean, I know a girl that can get any man she wants and she is actually quite ugly and she smells bad too. Nobody can understand it. Confidence and actually being average makes you more approachable. Guys tend to approach girls they think they have a better chance with, and often with girls they think are more on their level. If an average guy with not much to offer approaches a girl, it's possibly because he thinks she is much the same and won't turn him away. Guys aren't stupid, most are wary of the extremely beautiful, intelligent, successful or vibrant girls because those girls tend to have the pick of anyone. Girls who can get guys quickly usually are average, nice, average stuff to offer, etc. They're the most approachable because, and you said this themselves, they're the most easily dated.
Girls opinions on guys approaching them?
I feel flattered when guys appraoch me even if they aren't my type. But it all depends on how I'm being approached. I'm a pisces too so If you aren't sincere or genuine I can kinda tell. Try not to come off as being cocky, confidence speaks for itself. You should have more confidence in yourself, sounds like you have a nice personality. Hope I helped! =)
How do I approach women/girls?
Let me tell you how I did it!I’ve liked this girl for over a year (trust me, she’s worth it), but I also have social anxiety. Yeah…But this one day I felt kind of crazy and decided to go talk to her. She was with a group of her friends that I sort of knew, and I walked right up.”Hey! Mind if I hang out here for a while?” I said smiling at her.She was grinning, and I felt a surge of pride and happiness that she was so happy to see me. Things were going great.Then the anxiety kicked in.I do this thing when I get anxious where I scratch the skin off the side of my thumb. It’s one of my stress relief techniques, and it works prettying well. Except this time I started bleeding.I continued to engage in the conversation and discreetly hid my thumb until class started. I said goodbye, painted a mental picture of her in my mind to take with me, and hurried away.Yeah, I was freaking out afterwards and it looked like I just murdered someone, but I loved it.My tip, just walk up there with confidence. Chances are, she’s been waiting for you to go talk to her.P.S. Don’t bleed everywhere
What is the best way to approach meditation without expectations?
Thank you for the A2A.Meditation is non-doing. You are just present in the now and here. You are just in the present moment. And present moment is so small that only consciousness can be aware about it and mind cannot be in the present moment. If the mind is in the present moment, it cannot move nor it can function, hence it stops. So, meditation means non-doing conscious mind and mind is only about the dead past and unborn future.Therefore, the best way is to enjoy this non-doing of mind in the present. It is not a goal to reach somewhere or to achieve something. More you enjoy the non-doing or stopping of the mind and the resulting presence of choiceless awareness, more deeper will be the meditation. It is about deeply enjoying the bliss of effortless stopped mind and the resulting pure awareness which is unadulterated by mind and senses. That way you go can be in a meditative practice state without expectations. Expectations are the biggest hindrance in meditation as expectation is doing whereas meditation is a state of non-doing mind.Hope this helps, God Bless You!