Emotial Stuff With Dad And Me Tips

How can we take care of our emotional health?

Your body chemistry must be balanced, so eat only quality food, 50–80% of which is rawDrink and cook with distilled water onlyStay at a reasonable weightExercise and rest reasonablyAvoid toxic peopleKeep good friends and socialize or keep in contact frequentlyGet plenty of fresh air and sunshineThe next may take some time to accomplish, but work on it daily:Make a list in a column of things you like to do, things you’ve accomplished places you like, places you’ve been, etc. This is the left hand column.The right hand column is things you’ve left undone, things you dislike, people you dislike, things you’ve done wrong, people you’ve wronged, etc.Whenever you get discouraged or down, look at the left hand column and go back in your mind to that place or time that made you feel good.In the right hand column, realize that 95% of your stress is little stresses that overwhelm you, which leaves you little energy to face the big stresses.Separate the things in the right hand column into things you can address in just a few minutes to just a few hours, things that will take a week or two that you can do a little on each day till done, things that will take a month or so that you can do a little on each few days till done, etc.Decide whether to sell them, keep them, give them away or thrown them away.Don’t try to do them all at once!Do a box at a time [you’ll usually go through a box in just a few minutes], and you’ll have taken care of 30 boxes in a month!If you’ve offended someone, go to them and ask their forgiveness. If they refuse, then it’s their problem now-you tried to make it right.If someone offended you, go to them and confront them to make it right-go easy on them, just as you want the ones you offended to go easy on you!All these things gnaw away at you emotionally and continually.As you take care of them, you’ll feel a big burden lifted off you both physically and emotionally.

How can you restrain your emotions and think rationally?

I sometimes wish there was a switch to control emotions!I'm extremely placid, so most of the time, I don't get rattled by what goes on around me. However, when I'm passionate about something, or feel someone is being treated unfairly, I can lose my temper.I can sense when the tension and annoyance starts building up. I'm not an impulsive person, so the flip side is that I do take time to think about my reaction. Once the feeling of emotion becomes overwhelming, I take a step back and breathe deeply, and I may also step into a quiet space for alone time. If during that 'time out', I can rationalise that my upset is justified, then I vent. If I have a problem with someone, then I'd rather be direct and honest, than be nice and saying unkind things behind their back. I learnt to become better at controlling my emotions years ago. My director was treating me like a slave with the work he expected from me. I got so angry, I told him to f*** off. I'm timid, everyone was like, you must have really p***** Abi off to get that reaction, they all took my side. Next day, he gave me a pay rise. "I like it when you're feisty, totally out of character," he said. Go figure ;) There after, I try and take time out or call a good friend to vent to get a different perspective. That said, I still lose it on occasion, without doing any of those steps, most recently when the porter in my building had a racist remark directed at him. The protective b**** in me suddenly took over, and I had to put the couple who were offensive to him in their place.Most people that know me well can sense when I'm annoyed as I go silent, until I figure out my next move. Most of the time I don't regret displaying my emotions, it shows I have feelings and I care. Rarely, I have felt that I could have handled a particular situation better, but we live and learn, through that process of owning (rationalising) our mistakes we can handle our emotions a bit better next time...

What are some good tips for first time fathers?

Some folks have posted some great stuff on this thread. I wish I would have had a lot of these when I first started on the road to being a father. Here's are a few in no particular order that I wish someone would have told me.It's already been hit on brilliantly by Marc Shedroff and Kelly Erickson but it's a big one. Turn off your cell phones, get off the computer, and get involved with your kids. They have Jedi senses when it comes to knowing that you're not paying real attention. They smell fake better than anyone. Never buy infant and toddler clothes or most toys new. That also counts for strollers and high chairs. Breast feeding wears Mom out. If Mom is up, make an effort to get up with her even if she says she's got it. Pick up more responsibilities around the house and cover the tasks before she even needs to ask. Find sleep opportunities and take them. Power naps are your friend. Remember if you and your wife get snippy with each other extend a lot more passes. Fatigue doesn't make anyone more smiley. Before you spend a couple hundred dollars on baby books late one night in a sleep deprived delirium because your new born won't stop crying, understand that most of what you read is available online for free. With that in mind go ahead and download basic pain med dosing charts to your phone, tablet, and desktop. Teething, nuff said.  Don't play the comparison game. Just because someone's baby was walking sooner than yours means absolutely nothing. Don't rush development, it won't work anyway. For the most part they potty train when they are ready, ditch the pacifier when they finally decide it's time, and will crawl when they are ready to move. Assist, guide, structure, but don't force. Have fun! Nothing says lame more than Dad's who are trying to act cool and professional when they are playing with their kids at the park. Go down the slide, make funny faces, laugh, and enjoy all of it. Your kids will love it and it's just straight up good for your soul. Don't wait for date nights. A simple hour away to grab a simple dinner with your wife is like winning the lottery. It helps you reconnect and regroup. Develop family rituals early on. Kids dig the structure and the memories you make are fantastic. Pay attention to the awesome reality that most of the time your kids are teaching you a lot more than you are teaching them. Listen, slow down, and enjoy!

What is the best surprise I could give to mom and dad on their 25th anniversary?

If you are low on budget: Throw a small party at a banquet with close friends and family, make a video depicting there journey from marriage, your birth/siblings, your trips, till present day and put emotional and family bonding songs in the background (ye to sach hai ki bhagwan hai, HumSath Sath hai) perfect example of High melodrama emotional song. Do the Jay-Mala scene and rings again! They would really enjoy all of it and if you are able to do all of this as a surprise they joy would multiply ten foldIf you are high on budget: A customized tour package for both of them to Kashmir/ Abroad or any place they have been wanting to go. Additionally, you may coordinate with the Hotel people and get them Cake & Some gifts at the Anniversary night. If you are extremely low on budget: How about 25 gifts each for both of them? 25 things your father uses, could be anything. The Lux Soap, Gillette Gel, Flip flops....etc. And 25 for mom! Another Idea I just had in mind:25 Red Balloons for Mom in a room, each balloon has a customized message from relatives/friends alongwith some of them having a treasure hunt hinting at gifts hidden in the house. 25 White for Dad in the same room, and the same thing as above. All the best! Make it the best one :)

My life has become hell. Parents torture me a lot emotionally and I can’t take it anymore. What should I do at this point of my life?

i’m 17 and my parents just don’t understand me. i don’t even have the right to cut my hair. my life’s miserable. i’m waiting to finish engineering so that i can join in a company and live alone. i never asked them for pocket money (we’re not poor!!). i never asked them if i can go out for a movie with my friends. they think it violates their “sacred laws” if i go out alone ( i never went though). they never asked me if i needed anything. they said i was just wasting their money !! whenever i loose my temper, my mom says “what have you done? we made u join in college but you’re just wasting our money.” she scolds me for no reason in front of people!! i cried myself to sleep many times. i’m just unlucky i guess. they say “you’re just 17 and you are not allowed to use social media.” i don’t even have a phone. i talk to my best friend once a month. when i use my mom’s phone for some work, my elder sister (24) says “you’re spoiling mom’s phone!! i bought it for mom!! not for you.” i wear jeans but my dad does not like it. one day when i finally asked for a phone my mom said “ what if you sit in the college and chat with people instead of studying?” i was shocked and hurt!! i was meritorious student till 12th. but they have no confidence in me. when i ask something they laugh and poke fun at me. when i ask my sis for something she does not even bother to reply. she just walks away. there were many incidents where i was beaten!! i just have to bear all these till i graduate. then i’ll return all the money they payed for my high school and college education and i’ll leave the city….see? you’re not alone!!