Estranged father wanting to start relationship? Desperate for help!?
This is what I would do if my daughters father decided to reappear: I would have a face to face meeting with him and lay things on the line: Tell him you expect him to follow a certain set of guidelines, and the more he does that, the more priviledge he will get with our daughter. I would set sepcific days and times for him to call. Say once on MOnday or Tuesday, and then again on Thursday or Friday. After a few weeks of that setup a supervised visit. Maybe getting lunch, they can sit away from you, but you will be there in case your dautghter needs you. Do that several times. Then try a short unsupervised visit. If that goes well try another, and then another, which each one getting a little longer. After several unsupervised visits, you can gauge how things are going and see if things should continue to progress or if they should remain stable. Make it clear to him that this is his very LAST chance, that is he blows it this time, that it won't happen again. I know it is hard, but I went through this with my sons father and I got sick of having to explain to my brokenhearted little boy what happened everytime his dad decided to blow him off for something else. Also, make sure to let you daughter know you are not forcing her to do this. The first few times you might have to push, just becuase it might be awkward, but after that wears off, if she still doesn't have an interest, talk to her about it. Find out why she doesn't want to partake, or what is going on.
Do my half-siblings get invited to my wedding?
I'm 25 years old. I maybe hear about my half-siblings 2 times a year since I was about 6. They never make any contact with me, and viceversa. They aren't particularly close to my father (our common parent), so I never see them. I don't even really consider them family, honestly. There is a lot of bad blood between us. My half brother has broken into our house before and stolen from us, my half sister basically blames my dad for everything that goes wrong in her life-- even though she would run away when he had custody. I've expressed, very openly, my view on them to my mother and father that I just cannot trust these people & they aren't the kind of people I would want in my life. They bring too much drama. In and out of jail and rehab and holding a lot of resentment towards me for going to school, graduating from college, and yes, being dad's "favored" child. I just found out that my half sister is mad that she didn't hear about my engagement directly. Her daughter (my neice) found out on my mom's Facebook (even though I asked her not to put anything about it up until we told everybody we wanted to tell). When my full-sister told me this I asked, "Why would we tell her when they're not invited to the wedding?" In all honestly it didn't cross my mind to tell them about my engagement. I've never shared a moment w/ them before, why would it possibly start now? My parents aren't pressuring me to invite them. They understand that they aren't a part of my life. I'm just furious that they would feel like they have a right to feel insulted or mad about not knowing when we found out about BOTH of their marriages thru a letter in the mail containing pictures of them getting married. I guess I just have to ask-- do I apologize for not telling them (which would require me calling them and I don't even have their phone numbers!) and do they get an invite?
Have you gotten in touch with half-siblings as an adult? How did it go? Should I do this if I'm not sure they even know about me (I'm the child of our father's first marriage and I don't know if they're aware he was married before)?
Ooof. First, you should do some research on who they are, or at least check Facebook.My oldest half brother contacted me two years ago out of the blue. I have five half brothers, all whom I last saw when I was around 5. I don't remember them that well, and I didn't think any of them had ever thought about me.He contacted me and asked if I knew *insert my dad's name*. After I said yeah, that used to be my dad, he explained that he was my older brother. We chatted for a little and he invited me over for coffee. When I showed up, he lived in a not-so-great part of town, so I really wanted to get in fast, but he wasn't answering his door. I waited for thirty minutes before he got up and brought me in (it was an apartment building). The meeting itself went quite alright we just talked about how our lives went after our dad's passing and since I'd been so young he enlightened me on some details about my dad I hadn't known--namely how abusive he was.Otherwise the meeting went kind of well. I honestly wished I had looked him up at least of Facebook first though or I would've invited him to my place. Hes quite the large guy heavily tattooed and kind of sketchy looking. He seemed nice but.. We didn't share the same views or interests. He had a cat that had recently given birth and he wasn't able to care for them properly. Instead of trying to find a shelter he was literally going to dump them outside! So I spoke with a friend of mine and I took a cat and her and some friends took the others but it was the last time I spoke with him. He was the type of person to constantly ask for assistance but never pay it back and it's hard for me to see the stark difference between us, resulting simply from different home placements as we grew up.I think if you do want to get in touch with them, then giving it a try wouldn't hurt. You would have to keep in mind the part where you aren't sure if they know you, and introduce yourself slowly in case they are shocked. If they never knew that their father was married before the current marriage, they probably will be and you might benefit from talking to your father or even reaching out first to their mother and seeking her permission.
Estranged father wants a relationship...?
My father has been absent from my life since I was four by choice (I'm 26 now). I'm going to assume that he wants to have a relationship with his granddaughter (seventeen months old), but I don't really know if that's a good idea. I don't want a relationship with him, but I don't my daughter not to know who her grandfather is. Any tips/suggestions?
Think I'm About to Become Estranged From My Father?
I "left" my father, alcoholic tobaco unfaithful bastard that he was like 2004 or something. I tried to get back to him at some level around 2009 and started trying hanging out with him once in a while and i swear to god im not a troll i swear on his grave! He had a heart attack right infront of me, i was trying to pump him while callin 911 (112 in sweden where i live) and i bet that was the effin revange he got for leaving him. Id say like this. The day you become completly estranged is a victorious day because the way he seems to live is the way days tick quick. I wish i was more estranged than i was because his death, and the fact me bein there messed me up quite a bit. I wish i didnt care at all about that bum, but i did
My dad likes my stepmom more than me?
Please read the whole thing. When I was about 8, my mom and dad got divorced. Me and my dad lived in an apartment and I liked it. We always went places and did things, and he would wake me up with a smile and we would go to a movie or the park or something and watch movies together on Netflix. Then he met this woman, she was nice and all. We got along ok. One day we go to her house for a party, and my dad tells me, we're sleeping over. That's when I met my future stepbrothers and stepsister. Well they ended up living together and stuff and I would be there everyday. Then my dads girlfriend started being really mean to me. My stepmom was just disrespectful to me and told my step siblings that i was spoiled because i didn't finish my oatmeal. When my fave stepsibling, stood up for me, my stepmom punished him. Well they ended up getting married. My dad didnt tell me, my fave stepbrother told me. He always pays attention to her and stuff, and I understand that a husband and wife love each other and need time alone, but my dad seems not to even care about me. They've been married for about 3 years. Ever since they got married my dad is always on her side when she says something (bad) about me. He seems to be annoyed by me if I say hi to him after school or something. He treats my stepsiblings with love and respect but to me he seems annoyed and mean. He went on a trip with my stepmom for 1 month. When he got back, I missed him so much and I ran to him about to hug him, and he just turned around towards my stepmom. He didnt say hi to me, but asked my stepsiblings how they were and he missed them etc. When I tried to go into his room to ask him about his trip and at least say hi, he just said what do you want. Then told me that he need to spend time with his wife and that im too clingy, then told me to get out. I showed him my 4 A's and a B, he punished for the B, and hugged my stepsiblings for C's and D's.