Have you ever been betrayed by a trusted friend?
I have felt betrayed. At the time, I felt really hurt and like I would never speak to the person again. But if you truly care about the person, if he/she apologizes or at least explains in a way where you do not feel hurt anymore, it feels so much better to forgive than to hang on to the hurt. Talk to the person who has hurt you. If he/she is a trusted friend, you can work this out. Time heals all wounds, too--even if no apology occurs. You are hurt now, but you will one day feel better about the situation and be able to trust again. Would you want to encounter a person who did not trust again? It would make you feel bad, even though you had done nothing to that person. So open yourself up to trusting again--Just be careful who you trust, so that, if the betrayal was extremely severe, it will not happen again.
How do you stay friends with your ex who cheated on you?
Generally speaking you should never stay friend with an ex.Now let’s suppose that like me, you share kids with your cheating ex.If you do, you do not need to stay friends anyway and there is no such a thing as amicable neither.So how do I manage to share the kids (I have 50/50 share).On Monday morning I take them to school she picks em up and drop em again Tuesday morning in school then I do pick up and drop em on Wednesday morning she does the afternoon run and take em back to school on Thursday morning and I pick them up in the afternoon and so on. You get the concept.I am on ParentMail, which is an app through which I get all school updates so if anything goes on on my day I attend if it’s mummy’s day she attend.All other types of communication are done strictly through e mail only in a business type of way.Some may say that it’s not good for the kids. I prefer teaching my kids that cheating is wrong and once you cross that line you deal with the consequences.So far so good. Kids love me and the older girl 11 understands perfectly where I’m coming from.I have a new girlfriend and I swear the kids would kill me if I even considered her mum back.I never wanted to have anything to do with certain type of people, further more now that one of that types is the mother of my kids.Now let me add and I’m going to guess here, I believe she was the one who suggested let’s stay friend.Rule of thumb with a cheater is: believe nothing of what they say and 50% of what you see, so if she was the one who want to be still friend, what she actually means is: you stay in your place, I wonder around and live my life, shag whoever I want and I will throw you just enough crumbs to keep you right there should I need you as plan B.Assuming you do not have kids together I would suggest 100% no contact.Cheaters ain’t worth your time.She created a vacancy, she offered you freedom, now go out there and enjoy it, it’s plenty of better people out there.
Would you forgive a friend who betrayed you?
If you hold a grudge, you will be the one to suffer. You must forgive, yet learn from your mistakes. Forgive them, but never give them the chance to betray you again. And by that I mean that you should not trust them anymore.
Post-breakup, I feel betrayed by my ex and several mutual friends. What should I do?
I am going through a similar situation. The mutual friends, they know everything, they say he's crazy. But in front of him, they tell him that it's not entirely his fault, and that I'm way too sensitive. They say they're attached to him, despite knowing how horrible a person he has been to me. And that makes me sad. Had they said, that they understand everything, but are just being cordial with him, I would've understood. But given the circumstances, I might be cordial with them. I might be nice to them. But the internal connection, that I thought that I had with them, that's completely gone. Because for someone with a connection with him, despite being completely aware of whatever happened between us, I can't have a connection. It's best that I let them go. The one day I had an outburst around them, telling them that I get a feeling that they're isolating me, they said they weren't. But all I could think about is, what they would be thinking about me, after the outburst. I was entirely consumed by the thought of how they would talk about me to each other then on, and how many people they would tell the story of my breakup and outburst. Here's the thing, I have had friends before as well. I just knew they loved me. I've had breakups before, and I've never hated my ex like this. Both the feelings are new.But here's the answer, dump the mutual friends who are completely insensitive to you. Dump the mutual friends who never talk to your ex about the relationship and try to put in some sense into him about what could make me feel better, perhaps just an apology. They just choose to never talk about it, and take the easier way out. They choose to be friends with a horrible person without making him realise about anything that I'm going through. Without once telling him that his behaviour was wrong, and the least that I deserve is an apology. If they want to make him feel better, by not talking about me. Perhaps they can once try to talk about the equation between us and help us improve it, if we are unable to. They are not your friends. Dump them too. Be civil, be cordial and trust your instinct. If you feel they don't, in the least, want to make you feel better, they probably don't. You'll find better friends, those who'll analyse the situation, instead of just closing their eyes to whatever is happening to their closest friends, because it is none of their business. It is their business, and if they choose otherwise dump them.
Should I forgive my ex-bestfriend who once betrayed me?
Well, I think kindness and humility are the 2 most valuable traits in mankind.The irony is that they both are seldom found in mankind these days.I think I have been in a similar situation as yours too. Some couple of years back, I had certain issues over righteousness with my 'ex' best friend , resulting in the termination of our friendship.We were not on talking terms for over 7-8 months, after which one fine day, I got a text from her that she would want to be my friend again. Brave as I thought her step was, I politely declined the offer saying that I choose my friends with my own will and not with force.1 more month passed and one fine day we were both supposed to have an interview post which we both were in an elevator and kind of struck a conversation regarding how the interview went.We started talking again and now that its been more than 2 years, since that 'silly' incident happened, my ex best friend is my best friend again.We did not talk about that topic for the initial months, but we talk about it now.Coming back to you, why am I narrating my tale to you, is to tell you few things: 1. If given a chance, would I like to change the events of old incidents. Hell Yes, why ? because I think we both were immature back then.2. I have now realized, that your best friend need not be an exact replica of you by mind.3. We need to just stop judging people around us , accept and love the way they are.4. Never close doors for a person who has guilt in him or her, very few people have the courage to showcase that.My best friend has helped me handle some of the tough phases of life and I am glad I have her.Cutting long story short: Give people the chance they deserve, not everyone is like you, empathize with her, understand why she did what she did, BE KIND. That's the most valuable trait in mankind.