Did I do the right thing by having no contact with my ex-girlfriend who still loves me but has another boyfriend and says she's very confused?
It’s too messy. It’s just a guess, but it sounds to me like she is someone who has to be in a relationship because she is terrified of being alone. I’m guessing that her current boyfriend is a rebound boyfriend and that she isn’t feeling it for him. Instead of admitting that she’s afraid of being alone, it’s easier to glamorize what you once had together. Happens all the time. Stay away until she works on herself some and can be alone without being lonely. In a few months, after you both have clear heads, if you both end up single again, and you feel something authentic (not an idealized version of your prior relationship), check things out. But stay away until then. You don’t want to be “that guy” who broke up her relationship with the current BF.Fast-forward to this scenario: You hang around. She continues to be unhappy with current BF and ultimately breaks up with him to date you again. Then you remember why you two broke up in the first place, so you end it again. Then she blames you for coming between her and the BF. Like I said before, very messy.Keep your distance and your sanity.
Did your ex ever contact you after breaking up? What did you do in that breakup phase?
My ex works with me. And dumped me after getting physical with me with the excuse that we are incompatible. For me, getting intimate with a guy means he’s committed to me for the long term. The fact he lost the guts to stand up to his orthodox Malayalee family and only made an empty promise to me at the beginning was something I realized the day after he left me crying on the roadside at 9 in the night on a lonely road. And when you do that in India, it means you could not care less.Anyway, fast forward to three months later. I’m not over him. He, having moved on a long ago has acquired a new girlfriend in the office . She is the typical Malayalee girl looks-wise and wouldn’t even try to contradict you. I’m a part Bengali and don’t suffer fools lightly. Basically, he got the kind of girl sanskar loves.So now I have to watch them both flirt and canoodle. In public. Worse, they sit in direct view of my cubicle and he never misses an opportunity to chat her up in front of me. And very carefully never so much as glances my way. Though he knows I can see.The only thing i can do is hunch down and keep working. When their laughter becomes too much to handle, I get the heck out of there. Breakdown in a secluded place. Dry my tears and thank God for waterproof make-up. Return to work.
Do you think if he really loves me he will come back?
If you truly want him back you have got to act as if you don't. For now you are coming across as too needy and the affect this has on him is that he has come to devalue you. If you already have stated to him on how you are willing to work on getting back together and he simply gives you mixed signals then don't allow him to do this. He either wants you or he doesn't. Stop second guessng him as this is causing you great confusion and you are letting him have it both ways. If he knows you are always there waiting he will not have incentive to get back with you. Instead your neediness is driving him away, making him stronger and determined to move on. He is in a confused state of mind and has no incentive to come back because you have not provided that incentive. First incentive should have been your willingness to work on the relationhship and so far this has not convinced him to believe you. What you must do is act as if you accept the fact that he is not coming back and make every effort to move on. THis is not to say you do not care and that you should be cruel to him, it means you lovingly tell him you respect his decision to move on and that you will do your best to do so also. Then you back up what you say by not being available to him at all. He must come to regain respect for you and this will show him that he cannot play with your emotions. This will send a message to him that he can no longer toy with your emotions. Then and only then will he have incentive to come back. So wish him well, close that door behind him and let him stride on his way. Then wait in slience with no contact with him what will happen next. He will begin to admire your strength, regain respect for you and see you again as a valuable person. Once he makes an effort to come back beware not to give him to the temptation of giving in too quickly. Cause he may be just testing how ou feel. Do this lovinly and simply tell him you want to be sure he means it because you no longer are willing to be hurt and mislead. He must prove he is willing to come back or you so far are giving him too much power over this break up. Good luck to you!
My ex-girlfriend still loves me but says she is scared to go back, what is this?
i say write her the letter and let her know exactly how you feel it will be good for the both of you, you will get it off your chest and you wont have to repeat it over and over again because she has it in handwriting for ever. Now my question is why has it been off on? why dont you guys just tough it out and be together and the next time you break up leave it at that and dont be friends. it might be for the best and you can at least say you tried. off and on relationships can be hard and hurt alot. you guys should not be getting physical if you are not in the relationship it makes things even harder emotionally and hormonally. If she told you this guy is a rebound tell her to have the real thing instead, you and just see what happens. You did the right thing by saying im out until you can decide and it will hurt! if you know what you guys have is true it worth trying one last time and then calling it quits if it doesnt work, there may be alot of baggage in the relationship which could be why. But first loves always hurt to let go but think of the fresh start you may have with someone new, beginings are alot of fun youve just forgotten how they are.Good luck!
My ex says he doesnt see us getting back together again. dated for one year, first loves ?
so my ex broke up with me 4 months ago and since we've been on and off in contact with each other And usually when were in contact we hook up or.make out or just act affectionate yet he tells me that he doesn't see us getting back together. but I have a hard time believing that given what happens everytome we start talking again or we always say were done with each other yet we always get in contact again. anyway has anyone been through something similar? have you gotten back with someone who said you guys would never get back together?
Told my ex that i don't want him to contact me unless he wants me back?
You did the right thing! It is extremely hard and insane to stay friends after he was your boyfriend! You see him differently and he sees you differently. I don't believe is continuing relationship as friends after couples. It won't last! If he loves you he will find the way to come back as your boyfriend. If he does not love you , nothing is matter any more because he does not deserve to be your boyfriend even if you love him! You need 2 for tango! If I were you , I would take it as it is over, that way you will be open for new relationships to comes and would get more from them. I know it is hard to stop thinking about him immediately , but in time it will happen. And when you get to have a new relationship you will see that you can put the old relationship in a secret drawer in your heart, lock it forever and move on! Take your time, move on, life has many surprises and we have a very strong abilities to cope when we need it! Trust yourself and believe that everything is happen for a reason. If you meant to be together, you will be! If not- there is nothing you can do about! Good luck!