Need feedback on the poem about trust?
So first off I am really sorry because the last one I posted I forgot to post the poem so here is the poem and I still need to add more lines and again thank you 5 ft 7 Texas Heaven and SKITTZO for some of the lines that inspired the poem Trust Trust is something that is hard to gain and easy to lose trust is when there is someone who will always be there for you Trust is something you give many people to but most can break your trust Trust is
How can I get feedback for my poetry?
Quora is a great place to start, so congratulations on taking the first step. There’s tons of people and places online and off to get feedback. If the idea is good enough, it’s likely some of those very people giving you feedback will turn into early readers.Top sites for instantaneous feedback on projectsPickFu Instant Market Feedback PollsTop Communities for writing feedbackReddithttps://www.reddit.com/r/Writing...https://www.reddit.com/r/writing/https://www.reddit.com/r/selfpub...https://www.reddit.com/r/Writing...https://www.reddit.com/r/writers/https://www.reddit.com/r/kindle/https://www.reddit.com/r/YAwriters/https://www.reddit.com/r/HireaWr...https://www.reddit.com/r/author/Linkedinhttps://www.linkedin.com/groups/...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...https://medium.com/galleyshttp://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...http://www.linkedin.com/groups/A...http://www.linkedin.com/groups/W...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...https://www.linkedin.com/groups/...http://www.linkedin.com/groups/A...https://www.linkedin.com/groups/...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...http://www.linkedin.com/groups/N...http://www.linkedin.com/groups/B...http://www.linkedin.com/groups?g...http://www.linkedin.com/groups/I...Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/...https://www.facebook.com/groups/...https://www.facebook.com/groups/...https://www.facebook.com/groups/...https://www.facebook.com/groups/...https://www.facebook.com/groups/...GoodReadshttps://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...https://www.goodreads.com/group/...Get feedback from people you know / trustFriends & FamilyNetwork / MeetupsCollege Professors (w/experience)Ask for introductions*And last but not least, you can always ask me for honest feedback via Twitter
My poem, feedback?
Close your eyes and imagine the infinite number of stars that light up my world with your name. Don't hesitate because my love is not a game. And when your eyes awake, you'll understand why your beauty causes me so much pain Because your reflection only exists within a dream the holes of your piercing eyes make my heart bleed the visions of our embrace bring me to chills Because we had a love that could kill. But now all the stars stand still.
How is my first poem?
As per my short bio, I am a writer, and have published a few poems and short stories, but I'm by no means a critic. This criticism is what I would've given you if I'd known you.Some of the words in the poem I found a bit awkward and out of place, like 'stick-figure body' (use 'thin' or 'slender' instead) and 'digestive tract' (I understand the implication, but it's very random, and can't be linked to anything else in the poem) and 'utopia' (again, I understand, but it interrupts the coherency). I felt as if I was starting to visualize the scene, and the word would throw me off, and I'd think, "Why is that in there? What can it mean?" The thing with short writings (like poetry and short stories), is that every word needs to have a purpose within the work. The diction either needs to explain something, set up something to be resolved later, evoke something or allude to something else. You don't need to add words or the sake of making something longer. Moreover, I would leave out the description of the heart - that doesn't add anything; we know what a heart is and are well-versed enough to know what it symbolizes. Who has the stick-figure body - the mother or the daughter? I couldn't tell. You introduce a 'ghost' but don't explain that. Is the fact that someone is very skinny supposed to allude to something else?Otherwise, I like what I perceive is an extended metaphor - comparing the mind to a subway map, a jolt on the "train"/tremble of the pen written over in ink to appease, only to be jolted again. There's a desire for order and calmness. I can't explain it properly, but I think I get it. I'm giving this a 7.5 out of 10. It's very good for a first poem. You should be proud of yourself. Cliches are fine - use them as stepping stones to build grander, vivider pictures. For example, if you're talking about love being blind, talk about the significance of eyes. If you're comparing winter to old age, connect the different components of each allegorically.I would recommend checking out the fixed forms (villanelles, pantoums, heroic couplets, sonnets, etc.). Some of them deal with repetition, most with rhyme, and will allow you to exercise your creativity within limits, before you go leaping off into free verse.
I suck at poetry any feedback?
Certainly this could be improved but as a first attempt you included a growing passion, some idea of a goal, though I think some of the metaphors don't work, I encourage you to keep on. Also read more poetry, get to know some of the basics/rules, even if you choose to not follow them all the time.
How do I go about writing my first poem?
Just write about how you feel.As you do it, you can imagine a rhythm in your head - think of a song you like maybe and take its rhythm. Poetry calls this meter.A good one to try is te-tum-te-tum-te-tum-te-tum on each line.You don't have to stick to it. You can write your feelings freely without shape, and split the lines where they naturally seem to end. That's free verse, and is terribly fashionable.You don't have to make things rhyme. It's quite nice when certain sounds repeat sometimes, but you can save that until you get more into it.The really important thing is that it means something to you. It expresses something, and having written it, you feel a little better for having released it from your pen or keyboard.Then read it, and adjust if you want.Then speak it out loud. Watch where you stumble or things sound a bit odd. Try changing words or phrases around to make them sound better.You are aloud to remove big chunks of it if you don't think they are saying much, and the poem still works without them.Then give it to your girlfriend.And insist she write for you.You're sure she has it in her.Revenge!
My first sonnet poem about Winter?
Horrible? Improvement needed?I wrote it in a hurry.. due tomorrow The weather is freezing, with snow falling The sun trying to shine through the snow cloud The subzero weather is appalling The snow that once fell is now being plowed The snow is now settled upon the trees And where I go my footprints tag along The coldness intensifies with a breeze Surely warm at home is where I belong Watching the snowfall always makes my day Certainly I enjoy this time of year The winter has come, I wish it would stay Until next time the snow shall reappear So now, I’ll wait in front of the fireplace With hot cocoa, the snow I shall embrace
Which poem's title is not the first line of the poem?
a. "The Solitary Reaper" b. "Stragne Fits of Passion Have I Known" c. "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud" d. "My Heart Leaps Up When I Behold"