Feel So Anxious And Insecure

How can I stop feeling insecure, jealous and anxious in a new relationship?

Practice slow dating. This practice mirrors the slow food and slow sex movements. Its where small steps are taken over a sustained period of time, slowly building up comfort and trust. This allows you to savor every moment & activity with your new boyfriend while giving your emotions time to adjust to the new sensations. Practically, this means seeing him infrequently, such as once a week, for the first few months, concentrate on having fun together (versus immediately telling each other all your secrets and ending up feeling vulnerable before the right trust levels have been established), not publicly announcing your relationship (adding to the social pressure to update your friends on how's it going) and leaving open what kind of relationship you will ultimately have (FWB, monogamous, open) for as long as feels possible. If you are a sensitive person who has trouble trusting people, then this strategy should work especially well. Only be as active, together & intimate as your current trust level allows. You can backtrack with this man and ask to start practicing slow dating now by showing him this page on Quora and discussing it.

What should I do to feel less anxious and insecure about all the stuff around?

STRENGTHEN YOUR MIND. IT SEEMS THAT YOU ARE NOT VERY CONFIDENT AND THIS HAS RESULTED IN LOW SELF-ESTEEM. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. INSECURITY, BEING ANXIOUS OR UNDER STRESS IS ALL A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION. REALIZE THAT ALL THESE FEELINGS ARISE FROM YOUR OWN MIND. YOU ARE THE AUTHOR OF THIS. GET RID OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND REPLACE THEM WITH POSITIVE ONES ABOUT YOUR STRENGTHS.

How do I stop being anxious and insecure?

As long as you hang out with the right kind of people, and in return these people genuinely care about you, you shouldn't have to worry. I'll admit, I like to style my hair for school and on some days, I'm either having a bad hair day, or the wind blew in the wrong direction, or I switched to a new product—you know Murphy's Law scenarios (if it can go wrong, it will go wrong). But despite all these, my friends don't ridicule me for it, they don't go around spreading cheeky rumors, or anything of that sort. With these people, I don't have to be anxious about my appearance, worry about saying the wrong thing, or worry about what they say behind my back because my friends and I understand that we're human and we'll do stupid stuff and we can laugh at ourselves and each other without going to the point of ridiculing each other because we don't care about the mistakes any of us make. We simply take advantage of the joy of living.If you need any further reassurance, just DM me (I'm still a newbie so idk if Quora has an actual messaging service) and I can give you more things that helped me, because trust me, I felt the same way too. I hated myself. I've had the teenage existential crisis (ugh). Just looking at my reflection made me cringe, but I've managed to get past that. And you can too.

How can I stop feeling anxious and insecure around people?

Dear, you have a trauma situation that you know of in your past. No wonder you feel the way you feel, anybody would. You need to process this trauma, so that it does not hinder you in life any longer.Your core boundaries have been shattered, and since then you dont feel secure. You need to get back the basic feeling that you will be ok, no matter what.Finding a therapist who has got experience with trauma, PTSD and the like might be a good idea.Then the question about friends. The way you ask suggests boundary issue. It seems you feel like you either dont trust at all or if you do you should trust completely. If I exaggerate, that means jumping head over heels and trusting someone with your life. This may be result of the childhood trauma.It does not work like that though! Trust is gained over time, it is mutual, gradual process, step by step. That is the healthy way of managing other peoples closeness to you. You have full right to choose where other people stand in this regard. That way, you may rarely feel uncomfortable, because you are in control of what you share and how close you let people. And you have full right to have your boundaries respected.Friends that are fully trusted are usually result of years and years of shared experience, you have seen them act in crisis, under pressure and so on. Then you have some other casual friends, you are on friendly terms but you dont trust them that much, you wont share very private things etc.I cant guess if you have absolutely no person you would trust. Think about it like this. You are unexpectedly in a very problematic situation, and you need help pronto. Who do you call?If you do not have such a person, then I would suggest again trying to work that out in therapy. Do your research, find someone whose style you like, who you can respect, who has got experience in the matter. Therapists should be trained in building relationships and trust even with those who experience issues in this area. They are used to people doing strange things, so that wont make them go away. So, its reasonably safe place to work it out. Once you experience trust in one relationship, it will be a lot easier to find it in other relationships, too.Good luck!

I am very anxious and insecure about undressing in front of my partner. How do I overcome this?

Not given any clues on what exactly triggers the sense of insecurity, I’d recommend this:Don’t get to undressing until you start to feel secure and confident enough with each other. Don’t rush anything.Wait for it to become more relaxed between you both. It always takes some time to build trust.When you feel you’ve established this very personal space with your partner and you both feel great and enjoy it together, just let it happen.If you’re uncertain about where does your sense of insecurity and anxiety come from, take some time and think through it. Are you insecure on your own? Are you anxious on your own? Are you confident in your body? Or does your anxiety kick in when you’re together with that person. Filtering out the real reason for whatever you feel is important.Just remember this. If your partner respects and values you, they won’t rush anything either. If somebody’s forcing you to undress when you don’t feel you’re ready or even want to, you’re with the wrong person.I hope this helps.A little addition in the end.We tend to dislike ourselves. It’s just normal. A lot of us will endlessly go like “He/she won’t like my butt/tits/belly/legs/shoulders/anything…” Just remember, that he/she might have the same stuff running through their head. If it’s your partner and you’re looking forward to being together in whatever quality, show care for them and allow them to give you the comfort of their care. It helps deal with anxiety and discomfort and helps establish trust and your own little universe for just the two of you.Peace, love!