I feel like a loser...?
I'm a guy 15 almost 16 going into 11th grade. I'm a little young for my grade too. First of all this is about me never making out with a girl. I'm not a nerd or anything I have a six pack play sports work out kind of often. I have lots of friends I talk to and flirt with a lot of girls all the time. I have only had a few girlfriends and only kissed one of them once. Over the years a lot of girls have liked me and have offered/wanted to make out and stuff but they were below my standards and I'm not shallow and going to use them or go beneath my standards which I think I set too high for myself. I don't view myself as a really hot guy or conceited I just try to look for good qualities in girls that I can have a long meaningful relationship with. A lot of my friends are losing their virginities already and I still haven't made out with a girl. I also keep hearing nice guys finish last.. I feel like a loser and don't know what to do...
Why do I feel like I'm a loser?
I will start it off with bringing to your notice that while self-confidence can be an inborn skill, it is something you can build up gradually as well. And “losing” is many a times basis for it. Yes, you heard it right, “losing”.There is a difference between being “felt” as loser and “termed” as one. If you feel like a loser, that it is something that is coming up within yourself. You need to stop thinking that.How do you stop thinking that? Start with small things which would help you gain self confidence and make you feel a winner, if you actually believe in the tag. As simple as playing a simple game on your phone in which you stand a chance to win eventually after a few tries. Let that “You won” text pop in front of you eventually and make you feel good.Then tell yourself, “I am better than atleast 30% people who don’t play this video game while i just won it”.This might sound unrelated and small but trust me it is not. Starting from this, you need to keep doing similar things which actually gives you a winner tag or self confidence or both.Few examples i can give you is: “Okay today i am feeling low and i challenge myself to sleep without puffing a ciggaratte in stress”. If you manage to do it (in case you are a smoker), you are a winner.I would love to continue answering this tomorrow as i am falling short of time. But even if this incomplete answer influences you, i would be motivated to write more.Cheers!!!UK
I'm 22 and don't drink and feel like a loser?
it's not because of religious reasons or anything. i work 3rd shift at a hotel with a bar attached and i see how stupid these drunk people act and would rather be shot then act that stupid. most of my friends drink also and their drunk calls and text are ridiculous. i also don't get much time off from work so on my days off i would rather relax then go out and act like an idiot just to be hung over the next day and forget what happened. I feel like sort of a loser for not drinking. It kind of gets in the way of your social life too because my friends always want to drink and they know i don;t so if we do go out i always am volunteered to drive so i sit at the bar 3 hours by myself while they get all drunk just to drive them home at the end of the night. am i the only other person in their 20's who doesn't like to drink? i feel like a loser and like i will regret it later in life. don't get me wrong, a beer or two or a glass of whine is ok.
I feel like a total loser?
Pathetic? Wow, no. I'm sorry about all of that, and I can truly connect and understand because I AM STILL going through that (in highschool...giving advice to a college- whatever) any way, I wish that there is a way I could help, but honestly, my advice is somewhat...unique with these situations. If there is one thing that I am...it is creative. Even more, witty, quick, and most of all dedicated. People tell me ALL THE TIME that I will never make it in golf. I was told by my coach that I lack the effort (BS...literally, first to show up and last to leave...last to leave by hours and hours of practice). BUT, my mind, I guess< runs differently. I love the negativity and crap people give me. Love it. I LOVE the feeling I get when I prove others wrong, prove myself right, and say nothing but watch silently as their faces drop, or as there self esteem comes back down to earth. The advice lies in what I just said...prove everyone wrong. They will notice, and you will have the utmost satisfaction. Say the prompt is a demonstration with visual aid (at least 1) and a typed essay and oral presentation. Screw that...be the one to have a perfect PP, poster board/trifold, and video. Stick it to them. KNOW you can do it, because you can. Oh yeah, balance it out, too! Party every now and then, let loose, then get back to work. Don't get carried away, though. -___- Slide in a few quick comebacks to your professors for me. (; Subtly, though. Embarrass them without being rude...STUMP THEM. Have fun with that one, but be careful. (:
Why do I feel like a loser?
See you are no loser. After reading your details it seems that you will have a bright future ahead.See this for an example -If you visit a stone carver you see that he strikes the stone many times before he can even chisel a small piece of it. For all the time before getting that little dent on the stone, can you feel how sorely he must feel on being a loser. But just as the stone breaks he may feel some level of triumph.Another one- Two miners Tom and Jerry challenge each other to make the most money from the field by selling all the stones they dig. Both work hard and Jerry gets a hundred stones. Tom on the other hand was having some ten or twelve stones with him. On seeing Jerry, Tom felt like a loser. After selling the stones Jerry earned some hundred dollars. But Tom had earned a few thousand dollars. Surprised why?Tom had mined diamonds and Jerry mined ordinary stones.Moral of the stories- No matter how big a loser you might feel like, a time will come when you triumph over life. Some get it instantly and some don't. Nevertheless both get it eventually.PS- Always believe in yourself and if not who will, honey?
I'm not a loser, but why do I feel like one?
You’re conflating two issues. You don’t feel like a loser because you are a loser, you feel like a loser because you feel like a loser.People can and do feel like a great winner while suffering soul crushing defeat. People can and do feel like a loser when they are winning the highest honors.You might want to check and see if you really want to be a winner. Given my background, I knew at a very deep level that success is dangerous. You may have the same belief.If you do indeed want to feel like a winner, then check to be sure you are taking care of the basics - do you get enough sleep? Do you get enough vitamin D?Do you feel that you are of service to someone or something?It sounds like you are doing want you want, studying law, and that you have good friends. All good. Keep up the good work.But don’t expect to feel like a winner just because you are winning. Feelings are more complicated than that.