15 is an age where life presents you multiple options. wisdom lies in choosing the best one. Children who are more concerned about their families usually are more obidient and well mannered. When you say you are dependent on your parents, is it money and emotional support? As long as your parents are providing you basic needs and emotional support, stick to them. To achieve your goals, get a part time job - to understand what responsibility and hard work means and how it pays off. Discuss your goals with your family and ask for their inputs and support. They will certainly encourage you to pursue the path you choose for a wonderful future. If you have set of friends who take interests in building projects and exploring technology, group with them and do something exciting. This is a phase of life where you can mobile yourself to achieve greatness. Read personality development books, discuss with friends and family about your take on the books you read. Go on a backpack tour if possible. Nothing teaches a person better than a travel experience. Explore, experience and endure! Good luck!
How can I gain self-independence from hyper-controlling and abusive parents?
It is unhealthy for who you want to be next but it's not un-normal for a high school senior who desires to desperately spring through all this and be an adult but.. well.. is still a high school student. It takes three months of working hard and earning an income to be able to afford to rent a room. That's what it takes! First, last, deposit, utilities. And as soon as you have graduated in a few more months (!), then you can get a job, pay into the household a bit, and save up the rest for getting a room of your own somewhere else. It is not "sick" for parents to keep their high school child financially dependent on them. It's actually pretty normal. You are resenting hugely being a dependent high school student.. but that's exactly what you are! Be careful with yourself or you'll find yourself resenting every hurdle, every time you have to wait your turn, every time it's not your turn for the rest of your life! You CAN do your homework. You CAN graduate from high school. And you CAN, after graduation, begin to start creating your own life. Or, I suppose, you could ask a friend's parents if you can hold up at their place for 3 months. Since you're a legal adult and all. You could up and ask.
My Parents Won't Let Me Be Independent?
I feel like I'm in the same boat as you ! I've felt that I've never really been able to do whatever I wanted, WHEN I wanted. :( I feel that my Mom still treats me like I'm not the oldest even... like my 22 yr old sis is the oldest. (I'm 27) I also feel like she treats our 18 yr old sis like she's older & more mature than me too !!! :( Even our 14 yr old sis treats me like I have to tell her what I'm doing, when I did it, where I'm going & when I'm gonna be back !!! She's living w/ ME yet ! (Then again... I don't alwayz end up sleeping here... I sometimes end up falling asleep @ my bf's place...& she doesn't like that cuz she doesn't like to be alone.) Try talking to them. I talked to my Mom so I dunno what good that's gonna do... Maybe you need to prove something to them. That's what I think that *I* gotta do... but I don't know what that is... I don't know how to get my Mom to take me more seriously... The 22 & 18 yr old have matured b/f me... or something. The 22 yr old has 1 more yr of coll & the 18 yr old is in Uni (She feels like she's passing me off). They also had bfs & lost their virginity first & drove/got their licenses first. EDIT: Maybe ask for some leeway once in a while & gradually try to increase it... :D I don't know how this would/could apply to ME tho... :s
First and foremost, please get to a therapist to get your social anxiety worked out.Get a job and move out. Jobs aren't easy to come by. It might take you weeks, it might take you nearly a year. But you've got start somewhere, really. Apply and apply, attend the interviews,just do it. It's better than sitting in the room. I worked for a year in my hometown while staying with my parents. When I had saved enough money, I started applying for jobs in the capitals, a metropolitan about 300km away from my parents place. It took months but I got a job, a good one, found a place to rent and stay and then I moved out. You could do it too. When you are staying at your own place paying your own bills, you are much more in control of your life. The real freedom is financial freedom.Meanwhile, I suggest you start by changing the way you are at your home. Please stop closing up in the room, watching TV and Youtube. Come out of the room. Help around with the house chores. Don't just get into things and start doing it. Observe how things are done. OBSERVE FIRST."You can't do it, you are not capable of doing it.""If you think so, why don't you teach me. Let me watch how you do it, then you guide me on doing. it." And you do exactly that.If you are not allowed to touch the stove, you can still clean the dishes, wipe the counter, eventually, they'll let you to touch the stove. Start with the small things. Don't take it to your heart if you were called "stupid" or something like that when you did them wrongly and run back to your room. Thicken your skin and learn the work. Do it.
I'm 20. No life. No friends. No activities. Want to change that but parents won't let go?
MAn I am so sorry to hear this! you need to somehow get a job! and save enough money to get the hell away from them!! lol they wont want youto work most likely BUT try and convince them you want to save money for your future while your studying or something......???? if this doesent work....then just tell them look I know you guys worry and I'm a very matture and smart girl! I wont do anything stupid or be around anyone stupid that does bad things! but tell them you are an adult now and you eventually want to get maried, work, and have friends....if they get crazy....just agree and tell them okokok fine you can have your way BUt in the long run you lose me! and then you can think about looking for a job and maybe finding a girl roomate or a girl college roomate? someone thats safe though and smart! look the book worm type girls those r the best! lool and move away! and dont go around them just call your family here and there! until you think u can trust seeing them in public once in a while! so they dont hurt you!!!! lol but man sounds like how I was brought up! and when i was 14 i got sick of it and ran away from home with this much older guy that liked me! and that was a big mistake! which is why I say get a job and a good roomate so u have things planned right! oh and stay clear of dumb men who want to just get in your pants! the best guys are the book worms lol and they are the ones who usually get a good career and become financially stable in life! others to BUT not the typical idot guys ya know! well write me on here anytime youlike ok! I will be your first real friend..... :) send me a message and maybe you can add me on FB if you even have one ?
Wanna get married, Dad trying to control my life?
So your fiance's dad wants you guys to shack up and get pregnant right away while you're only 21 and still in school ... and yet you think YOUR dad is the stupid one here? Well, good luck with that, because you're clearly in for a rough road ahead of you if you think that your father is in the wrong by wanting you to wait a while and finish school, and to get to know this dude a bit better, before you commit your life to him. That marriage ain't gonna last, kiddo. But, anyway, since you apparently know everything and your dad is just a big mean poopiehead who is clearly jealous of your youth and your Twu Luv ... Is your dad paying your tuition, room and board, meal plan, etc.? Do you still live at home with him? Does he provide your health insurance, pay your cell phone bill, pay for your car and insurance, etc.? If you don't depend on him for financial assistance or shelter in any way, shape, or form, then do whatever you want. If you DO rely on him for absolutely any of this, then STFU and do what he says, because unless you can stand on your own two feet then you have absolutely no business getting married.
I have no control over my life and im 19, i cant go anywhere without a parent my dad is so controlling!?
OK FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE NOT STUCK. YOU ARE NOT WITH THE PROBLEM AND IT CLEARLY SHOWS THAT YOUR DAD IS. BEFORE ANYTHING YOU HAVE TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND HIM. I THINK THAT THE WEEK ONE HERE IS HIM. HE MAKES YOU FEEL SMALL SO THAT YOU DON'T NOTICE HIS WEAKNESS AND HIS WEAKNESS IS: YOU. HE'S IS AFRAID 1) SOME BOY WILL HURT YOUR FEELINGS IF YOU FALL IN LOVE BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT YOU ARE INNOCENT 2) THAT SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU LEAVE HIS SIGHT. THAT'S YOUR DAD'S WEAKNESS AND TO SHOW THAT HE IS NOT WEAK HE IS SO OVER PROTECTIVE BUT YOUR DAD HAS TAKEN IT A LITTLE TOO FAR. 1ST OF ALL I RECOMMEND THAT YOU SIT WITH HIM AND WATCH TV. AND TRY TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM. DON'T BE AFRAID AND DON'T FEEL INTIMIDATED HE'S YOUR DAD AND HE LOVES YOU HE WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HARM YOU. DON'T MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU NEED OR WANT SOMETHING. JUST MAKE IT SEEM CASUAL. JUST SIT NEXT TO HIM AND ASK HIM WHAT HE IS WATCHING ON TV. ASK HIM QUESTIONS AND GIVE YOUR OPINIONS. WHAT THIS WILL DO IS YOU AND YOUR DAD WILL START TO BUILD A BOND I KNOW THIS SOUNDS HARD BUT IT'S POSSIBLE AND UNTIL YOU DON'T DO IT FOR A WHILE IT WILL NOT WORK. TELL HIM FOR EXAMPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO GO FISHING! OR THINGS THAT DAD AND DAUGHTERS DO. THEN WITH THE TIME YOU GUYS SPEND TOGETHER YOU WILL BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HIM MORE AS WELL AS HE WILL BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND YOU AND HE WILL NOTICE THAT YOU ARE A GROWN UP WOMAN AND THAT YOU ALSO NEED YOUR SPACE. ALSO ASK HIM ABOUT HIS PARENTS AND HOW THEY WERE AND YOU WILL PROBABLY BEGIN TO SEE A PATTERN. ONCE YOU SEE HE IS LOOSENING UP THEN ASK HIM SIMPLE THINGS LIKE "OH I NEED THIS FROM THE STORE IS IT OK IF I GO AND GET IT REALLY QUICK?" IF HE SAYS NO JUST SAY "OK" AND THEN HE WILL BEGIN WONDER AND I BET YOU HE WILL COME TO YOU AND TELL YOU "HEY CAN YOU GET ME THIS WHILE YOU ARE OVER THERE?" BUT BEFORE THAT YOU BOTH HAVE TO BUILD A TRUST. I'M NOT SAYING HE DOESN'T TRUST YOU BUT I'M SAYING THAT HE HASN'T REALLY NOTICED THAT YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH AND CAN DEFEND YOURSELF. HE'S NOT RUINING YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU JUST RECENTLY BECAME AN ADULT SO IT'S JUST STARTING DON'T WORRY TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE'S AFRAID BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT VERY WELL AND HE THINKS THAT BEING AFRAID IS A WEAKNESS AND IT'S NOT. TRY HAVING SOMETIME WITH HIM JUST YOU AND HIM AND I BET HE WILL BEGIN TO SOFTEN UP A BIT. YOU JUST HAVE TO SHOW HIM THAT YOU ARE AN ADULT NOW. GOOD LUCK GIRL DON'T WORRY YOU WILL SURVIVE!
No. Depending on where you live, once you pass a certain age, you are technically an adult. It’s 18 in most places.That having been said. If you’re still living in a house owned by another person, they can have a say over certain things. You can’t tear out the lawn, for example, and replace it with a rock garden without the owner’s permission.But that’s not what you mean by your parents having control. If you are living rent free, it’s kind of hard for you to argue against their continued interference in your life (who you should speak to, what you should do with your free time, etc). After all, it is their house, you’re their child, and they’re still paying for the roof over your head.Legally, certainly, you might have a case. My suggestion, if you can’t afford a place of your own, then offer to pay them rent, and demand an actual lease agreement. You will pay “x” per month, and they will act as landlords. Since, in all likelihood you will have to use the same kitchen and laundry facilities, include usage of these facilities as well. Basically, what you want to show your parents is that the only reason you’re still living with them is that you can’t afford your own place (incidentally, in today’s economy, that’s not a bad thing). Show them that you are willing to take an adult role in the household (dishes, laundry, maintenance, etc), and in exchange, you want them to treat you as an adult.All of that having been said - there’s nothing wrong with listening to what your parents have to say, and regardless of a lease, if you’re in the same room with them (or if they have your phone number), they’re going to tell you what they think (trust me, I’m 43, live a continent away and my mom still tells me what she thinks). And that’s fine. After all, your parents have been your age before, and they are likely to have decent advice for problems you might be facing. Just remember, you are and adult now, and you don’t have to listen to them if you don’t want to.As an addendum, my mom is still right, most of the time, even now.