Does anyone understand grandparents obsession with their grandchildren?
I have kids, so they can grow up and live life. I dont stop them , when they are adults from living their life. If they turned around to me , when they are adult and said they were moving across the country for particular employment. I would in fact encourage them. I never get in the way of someone bettering themselves. Even if it means i see less of a grandchild. Im not saying i wont miss the grandchild. Of course i will. But its for a better future for them if they move. I did it to my parents. I moved all the way on the other side of Australia from them , to kive with my wife. We have a 4 year old son. I run a sucessful business, which i would never have had if i lived back where they live. Its how life turns out. They see my child, twice a year. But what can you do. Its our home now and im not gonna uproot my child from their home, give up my business i worked so hard for , just so they can see him more.
20 and engaged, How to tell my grandparents?
My boyfriend just proposed to me. I am so excited. We decided to wait until I was done with school to get married but in the meantime I am obsessed with my wedding plans. It is so much fun. Anyway, I am nervous to tell my grandparents because they have this picture in their heads that I should get married later to a man with a masters degree with a house and blah blah blah....Life is not that picture perfect but I am in love and want them to be confident in my judgment. How should I tell them? They are Very Traditional. A little background. I moved out when I was 18, still in high school. Since then everything has been going great. We are currently living with my boyfriends grandfather for free (stacking our money away) and in turn taking care of his grandfather.
Why are Indian parents so obsessed with marriages and grandchildren?
Obsessed… I am not sure. But yes there is a certain sense of urgency among Indian parents with marriages and grand children.One perspective is that they know better. Though they may not give us a complete insight into their lives as a married couple and what they went through as parents, they may know a few things like - having kids early can reduce the age gap between the kids and the parents, and that in someway can reduce the retirement burden. Or they faced something in their own marriage at some point in time and took that as a lesson.Another reason could be our basic culture. Many Indian parents look at their kids getting married off, as a responsibility done. Once the kids are married off, ‘it's their life and they will manage'.Until then, as in our culture, parents are ‘responsible’, which is not so stressed in the western world. Like, once a daughter is married off, now there is a guy who will take care of her safety. When a son is married off, now there is a girl who will take care of his needs.So as parents , it's like an end to their responsibilities, and I believe it is fair enough that they need a break from all the responsibilities.Hope that gives you a different perspective.Cheers!
Why do all grandparents love their grandchildren more than their children?
It’s a simple reason. We have a saying in Gujarati that goes “Nana karta vyaj walo” which means that it is the interest that we get out of the principal amount lent that is dearer to us.While every parent puts in considerable effort to spend time with their children during their growing years, they are still constrained and have many duties to take care of. Some of these prevent the parent from fully indulging in the child, freely playing with him and giving it the 24x7 attention that they seek.As the kids grow and outgrow their parents, it is now the turn of the new adults to get busy but the parents have loads of time to spare owing to may be being retired. In this case, the void that the children left in the parents’ lives, grand children fill them perfectly fine. In the grand parents, the new kiddos have their perfect partners in crime to do as they please. What more, when the parents come to scold, there is somebody older than the parents themselves who can over rule and preside.
My parents and grandparents are getting older... and I'm getting worried?
Look, I'm in the position at the moment of having had to give up my job to care for my father who is 94 - I am 56. Dad has refused to go into aged care, mainly because he is a self-funded retiree and going into care would cost a bomb - and he is obsessed that he has to leave all his money to us. I would rather that he had professional care, but it's his choice. I will do the best I can, but I'm not sure if I'm physically strong enough to lift him if it becomes necessary. I take one day at a time and try to manage as best I can. It has made me think long and hard about my own old age - I have no children. I plan to place myself in aged care when the time comes as I want professional staff caring for me not relatives who are amateurs. I personally don't believe that looking after your parents in the home is efficient or practical - I certainly can't give my Dad as much care as he needs. What your family members choose to do is of course their own decision, but I recommend practicality over sentimentality every time.
Why is my grandmother obsessed with work and activity? She wouldn't let me wash my own clothes without helping me, let my mother cook her own food without interferring, or even let one help her clean her room?
Because she is trying to be helpful. Her job as mother is pretty well gone. That is your mom's job now. She wants to be valued. She wants to have a purpose. You could help her. Try to give her something to do. Grandma, how do you fold a bottom sheet? Does this need more salt? Ask her something that she can answer, even if you know the answer already.Ask her how she met grandpa. How many houses has she lived in? What was it like when she was your age?Your grandmother just wants to feel needed. Give her a hug. She won't be there forever.