How can I Stop my Self Consciousness from Ruining My Life?
You are describing Social Anxiety Disorder. I am paralyzed by it as well. I can't stop worrying about other people judging me. My self-image places me at the same level as a monster.
How can I learn to relax in social situations?
I know exactly where you are coming from because I am an introvert myself, but I fight it all the time because I don't want to come off as aloof and anti-social to other people. I have to disagree a little with Beautiful Disgrace, the reason why you are so self conscious is because you are aware that people are judging you and they are. It's a fact of life whether we like it or not, people judge, most of the time on our facial expressions and actions. I have a hard time convincing people that I am not upset because I seem to have this mad expression on my face all the time, it's just a natural expression and I call it my deep thought face, that's what us introverts do we are always in deep thought, and it reads on our face, but is often misread by others. That throws me off all the time when people bring that to my attention because in my head I'm doing all this thinking and not aware that I am coming off looking pissed, and when it's pointed out, then I am focused on trying to change it but with little success because it's who I am. Not forcing yourself to talk is a good way of giving yourself time to think of what is coming out of your mouth instead of just blurting out something trivial, and sometimes it's best just not to talk, who said we have to respond to every comment, statement made, some are just meant to be received you know? As an introvert, we are more self conscious than others, so what you think is obsessive is just your real nature. What you have to tell yourself is I'm just different and everything I do is different, it's not bad, it's not abnormal, it's just different. With the anxiety tho, that may or may not be part of your nature, but in any case don't try to change who you are, but as Beautiful disgrace said, if you need to, get help with the anxiety if it's too much because you don't want to have that on top of your normal introverted personality to deal with, believe me I know how frustrating it is, and I know how comforting it is to find people that understand. If you have any other questions you can email me
Why do people feel so depressed after a break up?
when you are in a relationship, that person becomes part of your life. a lot of times, you find some sort of validation in that person. when that person goes away, it's like that sense of self-worth is ripped away from you. not only that, but the good feelings your brain produces when you're in love, well those are also taken away. it's comparable to a person getting off drugs. you are sort of in withdrawal, and it can physically and emotionally hurt. this is why those girls who dedicate their every waking moment to their boyfriends are so devastated when they get dumped. that's why it's always good to have a balance of important people in your life. in case one is ripped away, you'll have the others to balance you out.
How can I be myself around someone I like?
The reason you’re flustered is because they’re affecting you in the way they are and it’s reflecting back on them.For example you go up to the person you like, and you start thinking rapidly about attributes of their’s like “oh their eyes are so nice, and their skin is so nice” and such and such. Well thinking all these nice things about them when trying to talk to them makes us feel goofy. And you can’t just all the time blabber about how nice it is to gaze. I don’t know, maybe you can, but usually we come up with something awkward to say instead.Honestly that’s kind of the fun of it, we like being shaken up by other people then wondering what’s going on with us. It can be really adorable, because when on the other side of it, it can be very endearing. You think to yourself “I didn’t even do anything” or “I didn’t think I was that funny but that’s nice”.Eventually you’ll still want to compose yourself and always remember what it is you enjoy in this world to do and keep yourself happy and active outside of this person. Because you don’t want to be wrapped up in someone else, it’s never worth it, you want influence and inspiration and joy and love, yes, but not to be totally taken in and used.You can test it yourself. When you talk with them how much of the talk is about them? How much of it is about you? When touching, are you moving towards and away from each other equally? Or is one person consistently being pulled in to the other?There’s lots of ways it can work out, but make sure they are being NICE to you. REALLY NICE. They have to jump through hoops to be part of your life too. Because like discussed earlier, you have and keep a life of your own.