Hate My Living Situation

I hate my job. I don't like my body. I don't like my living situation. I just feel overall very unhappy and uncomfortable. What should I do?

There are some things you can change and some you can’t. To keep a positive outlook on life, you have to create some action around the things you can change and, let go of the things you can’t.You need to expand on your list then, unravel the layers to see which of those can be unpacked and changed.For example, you hate your job. So, what is it about your job that you don’t like? Is it the people, is it the tasks that you do, is it the office environment? Are you underutilised or overworked?Make a list with three columns.What you don’t likeWhy you don’t like itWhat you can do to change the situation.Taking work as an example, your list might say:I don’t like that my skills are not recognised.because I feel I am not valued.I can run a lunch time workshop to showcase and share some of my skills.Then, write numbers in big red letters against the items you can change to rank them in a priority order.Then, get a clean piece of paper and write in big letters at the top “My To Do List”.Transfer the numbered items across and write in a positive manner. So, taking the example above, it might readMY TO DO LISTI will organise some lunch time workshops where I can showcase and share my talents.If you follow this process, you are putting out to the Universe all of the positive things you want and, this is the first step to manifestation.Read and re-read aloud, your To Do List every day and tick them off (using a bright coloured pen) when each one has been achieved.It’s easy to whinge about what life has thrown us. But much more courageous to take steps in our lives to make it the best we can.

What are you going to do when you are in my situation? I hate my family, and they hate me too. I'm living with them, and it hurts me whenever I hear them talking bad about me. My neighborhood is also a mess. How can I handle my sensitivity?

In order to properly answer this query, I would need to know the underlying cause of why you believe they hate you and why you feel hate in return. If you have some characteristic that is entirely natural for you but goes against their views or beliefs, I would think perhaps you have misconstrued their animosity for your behavior for hate of you personally. And it is entirely normal to have those same negative emotions for those who you perceive “hating” you.These kind of dynamics are common in families. It comes from the innate difficulties of several people living in such close proximity and each of those people being unique. An aspect of our humanity is that we all are unique in the way we think and feel and perceive and interact in the world around us.If you are looking to find harmony in your family, then avoid confrontations that do not achieve a goal that is critical to you. If they dislike certain types of behavior, then don’t flaunt the behavior.You are not denying yourself by being yourself outside their presence. That does not mean you have to lie or pretend to be something other than the true you. But perhaps you don’t have to force them to see the true you if they are simply unable to accept you as you are. They are the ones who are missing out on your life.I am a gay man but my coming out to my family was put off for many years, not because I was hiding it after leaving home, but because my mother was not prepared or able to accept it until she had time to accept that being gay or straight was not a choice.That took time for her and she and the rest of my family missed out on an important part of my life as a young adult. In order to keep peace in my family until then, I simply did not force her or them to see it, even though she really had known since I was a child. It didn’t change who I was. It just limited who I shared my life with for a while.It is often difficult in families to see each person as a unique individual rather than just an extension of the parents. Perhaps what they need is a little time to adjust and accept you as an individual.

I'm in a living situation where I am constantly exposed to things that I dislike. I am in no position to move out, so how do I get over it?

You don’t. I believe that you should never settle. There’s always a way of escape. Sometimes we don’t like that way, because of our misguided dignity, but it comes down to deciding whether we want to remain in a situation that is unpleasant to us, or do nothing. Doing nothing and/or trying to “get over it” is probably going to cause you a lot of stress. That stress left unchecked, is going to affect your health (if it hasn’t already). Make a decision to take care of you. If being in this situation is not part of that decision, (to take care of you) then choose one that does. Find a way to take responsibility of you.

How can you cope with living in a place you hate?

It’s not easy, but I’ve had to deal with this situation so much.Ever since i was little my family has moved me around several times a year, 100’s of different schools, cities and houses. Some are perfect, others are… totally not desirable.There was this one place i especially hated, in a little town called Mexico Beach. The town it’s self was quaint and charming, but overall a complete disaster. The house i lived in was right by the beach, you would think that would be ideal, but of course nothing is as good as it seems.The first day we were there was probably the worst day ever, It was one of those days where it was actually quite cold in Florida, and for some reason nothing but the AC worked, so it was freezing. Not only that, but the heat on the water was broken as well, worst shower experience ever that night..After we resolved that issue, a few days later it rained. It was normal rain, nothing too heavy or extreme, but the house flooded. Water was coming out of the walls, floors and ceilings. It was awful so we had someone come and try to fix the problem, nothing ever resolved it. It rained every other day, to our luck….. We basically became best friends with the people that specialize in flooded houses.It wasn’t just the house that was the problem though, it was everything. The neighbors were judgmental and even the grocery stores there were dirty… Not to mention how there was nothing to do there at all.I lived like that for two months, which seemed like a eternity. The only way i could even ignore my surroundings was to do a few things.Appreciate the good : For an example, at least the beach was close by.Focus on something else, Anything else : I focused on working out and i think i played video games for days straight…Focus on the future : If you hate the place you’re living in enough, chances are you’ll get away from it eventually.Try to resolve your problems with the place : That didn’t really work for that place, but i had other bad experiences and it worked for them!Learn to love it : You can try to look at things differently and appreciate all you have, some could be way less fortunate.(Google mapped my old house, As you can see they still have a for rent sign in front of it!)

Me and my dad hate each other. I'm stuck living with him, and there are a lot of times when I can't get food. What should I do in a situation like this?

If there are “a lot of times when I can’t get food,” and you are under 18, go to your school office. Ask to see a nurse or counselor. use the same words about the food. They are required to contact social services. Social Services will not tell anyone where the information came from.

I am living in a city I hate, with weather that depresses me, and at a job that completely and utterly numbs my mind and sucks the life out of me. Should I stay or go?

Hi, I’ve been in exactly the same situation as you for many years now. Years ago, I made a move to a new city and country and soon found myself getting depressed. Hated the weather, hated my job, and found myself losing motivation to even go see the ‘friends’ I had made. I initially told myself what a few other commenters are telling you - that the problem lies within me and I must change and try to adapt. That it is homesickness and everyone feels like this. But it didn’t get better, it got worse and worse and worse, to the point that I landed in serious clinical depression, lost my job, and besides, any motivation to work because I was depressed. I then went to a therapist to get help and one of the first things we realised was what you are already realising (but understandably need validation for, as it is a huge life decision) - that I’m in the wrong country, in the wrong city, trying to live the wrong life for me. So here’s what I would suggest you do, since this is not an something you can fix overnight:Please find a counsellor or therapist to talk to. You are tending towards depression, if not clinically depressed already, and NO ONE can make rational, empowered choices when they are not functioning well.Start looking for jobs in the cities/places you would like to be based in, instead. Looking, by itself, doesn’t cost you anything and doesn’t make the decision for you. What it does is open up options.Focus solely on being good to yourself. Cut down on the alcohol, focus daily on alternative job hunting, exercising and doing one thing a day that you really enjoy - whatever it might be. It could be reading, listening to music, going to a concert once a week, walking in the park, going for a run, playing golf, spending time with animals or a favourite person - anything, except alcohol :)Give yourself a deadline - 6 months, perhaps? Do all of the above in those months, and I promise you will find your answer.Good luck :)