18 year old son staying out all night?
Yes you should be expecting more in fact. He could have asked any one of his friends to use their phone for the two minutes it would have taken him to text you that he was ok. He didn't even have to say"I am texting my mom" if he thought that would be embarrassing. What he did was disregard for your investment in love and the things that he has been given over the last 19 years. So, since he doesn't appreciate the value of a cell phone and a roof over his head and food in his mouth and a car to drive when he needs it and money in his pocket when he wants to have fun, he should be relieved of the burden of taking those things from you. I would start off with the cell phone. It is now gone for the next week. If he does it again it is gone for 2 and then he is off your plan. Hold firm on the money issue. He should be out looking for a job and he should definitely not be out with friends for a whole weekend.If he is working, that option becomes null because it will be his employer who will expect him to be home on weekends. Appreciation has to be taught. It also has to be learned so the cell is where I would start and now. You are plainly a good mom who is trying to do the right things. I don't know if many who are as concerned and caring as yourself. Put on your game face, smile because you still hold some power and do what you have been doing all along. Being a great and loving mom even when he doesn't understand that yet.
Boyfriends son, 22, no job, doesnt go to school. sleeps all day runs at night. Dad gives him money when asked?
Its not the Dad, its the Gr. Dad, that I am going with. He is 67, and cant live forever. Gr. Dad has a good paying job. He is the biggest Enabler. Can I do anything to make this kid grow up?
My adult son is a bum! Any advice?
Firstly I would change the locks on your home if I were you, since he doesn't live there anymore their is nothing he can do about it. If he has no place to practice he won't be with the band as much maybe they'll even drop him from it when they have nothing left to take from him as you already have made sure he doesn't have extra money for them to take, the place to practice is pretty much the last thing he has for them. Having them drop him is the absolute best solution for him to realize that these aren't real friends looking out for his best interests but rather just people trying to suck his worth dry. You and your husband need to sit down with him and although he doesn't just listen to you try to make him explain exactly why he is doing this with his life because at 22 most people know that they either need to be in school, or have a job and some even have both. If you show that you are listening to him he may be more incline to listen to you as well. Ask him exactly what he wants to do with his life. Don't comment his appearance because even if his band mates are the reason he is keeping it long you don't want to also be another entirely controlling factor he needs to learn to be able to control his own life with you just helping him get there. Not sure of the line of work you or your husband are in or if you even want to risk your reputation at your job, but if you can get him a small job (organizing files, cleaning offices, ect) just so he can feel a sense of accomplishment of doing his own work it may make him a bit more responsible and capable to realize the value of hard work and money, and that 2 hours worth of work for one case of beer is completely not worth it when you are still in your early 20s.
How to I deal with my son's father being lazy?
I have been with my son's father for almost 3 years. Our son is 16 months old. I work full time as a nurse and have worked since our son was 9 weeks old. I also worked up to the day before I went into labor. My boyfriend does not have a real job (he works about 10-14 hours a week at night for his best friend). He brings in $1000/month, which is not great, but is better than nothing. We live in a house that I own outright (no mortgage payments). He does pay for half of the electric pill and half of the cable bill. So, he stays at home during the day. He takes my son to my parent's house 3 days a week and to his parent's house 1 day a week. He has the house to himself on most days. He watches tv and plays a lot of video games and smokes weed daily. He does do a few chores, but very minimal. One thing that really gets on my nerves is that he stays up until 1 or 2 in the morning and then wants to sleep in until 11. He gets very angry if I get up for work and our son also wakes up and won't go back to sleep. My son typically goes to bed at 8pm and gets up between 7 and 8am. For the first 10 months of my son's life, I breastfed him and was up every couple hours while my boyfriend slept in a separate room. I continued to breastfeed while working full time. On the days that I have off, I am expected to get up and take care of our son while my boyfriend sleeps in until almost noon. I NEVER get to sleep in. He acts like him getting sleep is more important than mine.
My kid everyday comes to my room at night when he wakes up, someone suggested me to have a pet and then he will not feel alone at night. Will this work with kids to have pet to make sure they stay in their room?
Your child*, (we have no clue of age) does not need a furry baby-sitter. Children need parents 24/7. By the way, you might just find out that dogs need to take a walk in the middle of the night. It's easier to let a little child crawl into your warm bed. If you are truly interested in a pet, then choose a very affectionate breed of cat. RAGDOLL cats are known to be cuddly….as long as the child is old enough to treat it nicely. One hard pull on a cat’s tail is a death sentence. (the nerves to the bladder get damaged, and cat has to be put down because it cannot empty the bladder and it will eventually explode causing horrific pain). * *please don't refer to your own child as ‘kid’, it sounds so disrespectful…..