HOW TO DEAL WITH A COMPETITIVE FRIEND?
Sorry for the repeated question...I'm new to yahoo answers. I have a friend who's super competitive with me. I dont want to compare grades with her because she'll instantly get upset if I have a better grade than her and counter back with some spiteful insult. She teases me about my clothing, and sometimes makes disparaging remarks about my ethnicity. Example (this is at the end of the year, when we r deciding schedules) I told her that I'm really interested in Taking yearbook next year but I couldn't because it would conflict with the sport I'm also taking (lacrosse!!) So later I found out that she switched her schedule so that she could take yearbook. She then goes up to me and tells me that "colleges really look for academic electives not sports. Because I'm taking yearbook it's going to make my application so much better and it'll give me a boost" unspoken words: OVER YOU! I know a lot of people are going to be like she's your friend?!! But she is. We've been friends through middle school and it's only now in high school thats shes turned sensitive and competitive. I really don't want to lose her as a friend but I just can't take the additional stress she's putting on me right now. Any suggestions?
How to deal with my competitive and disloyal "friend"? I am going insane!!?
Ok, so I have a friend who is sometimes nice, but the only reason I am sill her friend is because she is in nearly all my classes and everyone else I know already have their own "groups", so branching out is impossible. My friend is so annoying and I am going crazy, I really want to knock some sense into her, she is so immature and is always putting me down and offending me! Not to metion, disloyal. If I tell her to wait for me when I'm going to the toilet, she won't yet I always do it for her. When I don't wait for her to get her back, she always yells at me. A few days ago I was at a horse riding club with her and all of a sudden she says that she thinks she is more experienced than me because her step mum owns horses (lol wtf?!). She only just started riding with me 3 weeks ago and when her step mum brought her there, she explained to the instructor that she only knew the very very basics (like getting on and holding the reigns). I have been riding for 3 or 4 months and I am in the higher group and onto cantering and jumping while she is still learning how to trot (and failing miserably to be honest). I have been around horses since I can remember do it infuriates me that she dare say something like that. An example of her putting me down is when she accuses me of not knowing how to do something when I infact did, long before she knew about it. Another time is when she was at my house for a sleepover with our other friend. We were eating and they were eating slowly and shyly to act innocent (you know when you do that at people's houses?) and when I was done I teased them and said that they take mice bites. She said "Well we don't eat like a hog like you do," I was upset so I said I was going to the toilet and I tried to calm myself down. She always brags about something too. When she was at my house like I said, we were doing our makeup and she started going on about her makeup that her step mum bought her when it is actually this crappy unknown brand. Help
How to deal with a competitive- know it all friend?
Over the summer my best friend of 7 years went to camp. She lost a lot of weight, got into drugs, drinking, and lost her virginity which transformed her into a confident and happy person. Before camp she had low self esteem and criticized me for being involved in drinking and smoking which I stopped to please her. Now she always tries to upstage me with everything! She acts as though she's "cooler" and "better" than I. She copies my choice in music, style, and personal beliefs then gains credit with her new popularity. Whenever we go out for a night with other friends she usually crops me out of pictures and doesn't tag me in the fb photos she posts. Her life revolves around her reputation now and she brags constantly about things like how she "just smoked before school which is f****** rad" or got tickets to a concert that I had been wanting to go to and mentioned to her. I really love and care about her, but her ego is ruining our friendship! It's affecting me emotionally that she's "rising to the top" and I'm "falling into the shadows".
How do I deal with competitive friends?
I have had a few girls compete with me in the past .But I'm glad to say that I don't have this problem with the friends I have now. Because I have cut out the competitive ones. Also as soon as someone starts acting that way, I always pull away from them.In the past I had Two friends that started to look like me, they coloured their hair just as mine, started dressing the same. And even bought the same fragrance as me .They even tried to be liked by the guy i was dating.It almost felt like an obsession. I know this can sound crazy but there really are women out there like that.Real friends respect you, and they are happy for you, for the things you have. They don't try to take your happiness away from you. They don't compete.The women or men who compete are very insecure.A real strong man or a strong woman doesnt do this.I really suggest people who are in this situation to cut the competitive person out of your life, before it gets ugly. Ugly like cooking your bunny ugly, who knows !
How should I deal with a competitive friend who avoids me due to envy?
A lot of people have advised you to make a new friend, but I don’t think you would be here asking this question if that’s what you truly wanted. Many siblings compete with each other and are envious of one another, but they don’t have to just quit being friendly because of it. Perhaps you should try to consider why they might be competing with you. Are you competitive also? Have you achieved things that the other person hasn’t been able to? Do you rub this in his or her face unintentionally? Do you compare yourselves to one another?We can not control anyone else, but we are capable of controlling our own behaviors. You can refuse to compete with your friend. You don’t have to discuss your accomplishments around them. You may be able to rebuild your relationship, but it will require being humble and taking a good look at whether or not you are participating in this competitive behavior that might leave them feeling less than.
How do I deal with my best friend who has become over-competitive and hence keeps lying all the time?
As a person who in the process of communicating with different people for multiple purposes, I presume and take it, that my answer would address your problem to some extent.Very appreciative of you to have put up your problem in a nut shell. She being your best friend, I would advice you,not to do anything that would lead to a abrupt break in your relationship, simply because it can do you more harm than an inch of good.As you clearly mentioned competition as the focal point for this simmering tension, pl understand it is the very fear pyschosis of you doing better than her or outperforming her in your common career path that has created this threat perception in her.Such dilemma’s of the mind can get a person to act rude or lie in a blatant manner. So that lying becomes part of their character. See there’s a lot of difference between a blatant lie and a white lie (in the latter you are neither telling the truth nor a clear cut lie).Be, your self move around with her naturally but don’t approach her for any of your career related or personal decision making. And don’t make it evident, you are widening the gap because of her envy or lies and even discuss this with a third party.Why become the cause for spoiling somebody’s reputation. You be yourself, and let her be what she is. Take the expert advice of your professors, teachers, educationalist, your parents in all your decision making, be it career or personal life.Thanks for sharing and let life move on higher altitudes. Best wishes………
Best friend, why is she so competitive with me?
Look, I know you don't want to fight with your so-called "best friend," but the only way really to keep her from treating you like you're nothing is to confront her. But wait to confront her when she actually says something nasty to you, like the whole "You only hang out with me because it makes you look even prettier" deal. That's wrong, okay. "Best friends" don't treat each other like that. You can't be friends with someone who's jealous of you. You need to tell her that she can't be saying things like that to you. Her whole insecurity deal is HER PROBLEM. You can't solve it by giving her compliments all of the time, that just makes you look like a huge suck-up and lets her think that you need her more than she needs you as a friend. Stick up for yourself and be a leader, not a follower. Sorry, but you really can't solve her insecurity problem. That's really the only way I can think of to solve your friend problems. But hey, if you still want to be her friend and make her feel better, I guess you can just make yourself look ugly or something. That would improve her self-esteem. Lol. Becuase nobody's jealous of an ugly person.