Afraid of getting beat up for standing up for myself?
My understanding is, you are naturally a pure person, what i mean by that is you are non-violent, which means you are spiritually rich, probably a creative thinker and intuitive, you need to focus that energy into things that will allow you to grow, you are someone who is evolved beyond the point of human savagery and violence and self destruction, but you have to realize it, people who are willing to take the chances to harm their selves and are even proud of it have inner conflicts within them that cause self-hatred and taking pride in aggression and violence and dangerous pursuits is how they express it, the reality is, is that a few punches can actually leave you braindead, or mentally disabled, or dead, this does happen, you can loose teeth, this happens, its NEVER a win lose situation its ALWAYS a lose lose situation, lose lose because people are experiencing unnecessary suffering, when someone attacks you RESTRAIN THEM and then try to get out the situation, if someone threatens your life, and they actually try to act on it, then you defend yourself and if you have to take their life, i know its hard but you have to make those decisions sometimes. but do not try to build pride in committing savagery on another human being with feelings thoughts emotions just like you but is so confused and uncertain of their selves that they build up so much negative tension that they seek targets to abuse to release it instead of resolving their own conflicts through thought and reasoning, be better than them.
I’m 23-years-old, I’m shy and I’m unable to talk to any women because I get nervous and “freaked out” around them. What is a helpful solution?
I've been where you are and can totally relate! I help guys in situations just like this, and here's exactly what I invite them to do to transform themselves:Make a 31 day plan to slowly become more social. Social confidence, luckily for you and I (I used to be awkward and timid as heck!), is learnable!But as opposed to trying to immediately be suave around women you find attractive, I'd follow thru with a 31 day plan that incrementally increases your exposure to new social situations.Example: Day 1 - Chat up 3 old women and ask them each a simple question.Day 7 - Chat up 3 random people and talk to them for a minute or so each.Day 14- Chat up 3 women and talk to them for a minute or so.Day 21 - Chat up 2 women that you find attractive for a minute or so.Day 28 - Chat up 2 more women you find attractive, and chat for a few minutes.Day 31 - Chat up an attractive woman, and if you feel there's a vibe, ask her out.I did something similar to this and it worked tremendously. It's all about getting little daily victories. Now obviously, this roadmap isn't complete. I'd fill in Day 2, 3, 4, 5, etc. and make each day get just a tad bit tougher, so that you're always slightly pushing your comfort zone, but not at such a rate where you feel you can't handle what's happening.And here's the last point I think will serve you well my friend...Place your self worth as a man, not on how each social interaction goes, but rather, how committed you are to taking action each day. Pat yourself on the back for taking action, not, for having a great conversation.This sounds paradoxical, but in fact, by focusing on the process goal of going through a 31 day challenge like this, and by rewarding yourself for taking action vs. judging yourself on the specific outcome (i.e. she laughed at my jokes), you'll find that 1) you'll feel far more control of your confidence level2) you'll actually improve faster socially, and around women, because there isn't pressure to perform, but rather, simply the task at hand of becoming more social.This plan works wonders if it's tackled my man. I blog a lot about this very thing and even lay out a free training series that goes way deeper into how to cultivate social confidence in a month.If you're intrigued, feel free to cruise over to: peak under pressure dot comBest of luck champ!Jason
Why are some boys/men hesitant or afraid to talk to girls/women?
It is not uncommon to have fear while approaching pretty women. Biologically, one is wired to evaluate oneself in the context of mating and fear rejection. So, there is no reason for you to feel that you are unique in your fear.Having said so, here are some points which will help you get some perspective:(1) Girls can sense fear: If you are scared of approaching them or seeking their approval, they can easily sense it. Their instincts are really very sharp! Fear can either be a turn them off or they can indulge you in a mind game and manipulate your fears. This is the reason why dating gurus emphasize confidence in a man. (2) Competition is more for average girls: Believe me, it is easier to talk to a pretty woman than it is to talk to an average woman. Men fear rejection at the hands of a pretty woman and think average girls can be easier. So, men flock towards average girls who are swamped with too many suitors. This can make them act arbitrarily or make them build walls around themselves, which you can't get past. (3) Pretty girls are usually less insecure: As much as one might underplay the importance of looks, people actually judge themselves by their looks. In case of pretty women, they know that they are good looking and are confident about it. They don't need anyone to keep complementing them constantly. Actually, many pretty girls are very nice people. Don't obsess about their looks, see them as people.(4) Pretty girls have brains too: Do not be blinded by the stereotype that says that pretty girls are dumb. It is not so. Since they are not too insecure about looks, you can have many a worthwhile conversation with them, instead of talking about what accessories match with what clothes, whether a haircut looks good, etc. Much like point three, remember to treat them as people; go beyond looks. (5) Success or Failure: If you are approaching them for dates, you can be clear they are either interested in you or they are not. If they are, good for you. If they are not, still it is good for you as you didn't have to waste too much of time contemplating. You can then move on to newer people. Hope this answer helps you understand your fears and get over them. Develop some confidence in yourself. Here's wishing you the very best.
Cancer man is making me lose my mind!! HELP!!?
Thanks everyone for you replays. You all have given me a lot to think about. I think everyone has a lot of truth in what they posted. At this point I am going to stop contacting him. I know it will be hard but I need to move past this. I will give him the space because clearly I need the space too and if he comes around he does and if you doesn't then so be it. It's important to remember what you deserve.
What to do about a mentally handicapped neighbour who makes alot of noise?
OK, I definitely support rights for the mentally handicapped, but my neighbours have this boy who is and he's always outside groaning and grunting. It's really disturbing because it sounds so bizarre. I guess he's just playing but it is not normal. I put an anonymous note on their door asking them to please keep him inside, but they apparently chose to ignore it. So, then I started sending my sons out to set off a few firecrackers in our yard whenever he's out there because the noise frightens him inside. So, then his mother has the nerve to complain about my boys making noise with the firecrackers in our yard. I just can't even believe it. Her son is out there grunting every day, and then she complains about my boys making noise. I am just beside myself. What is the next step here? THANKS!
Depression or Severe mental illness?
Ok I've been to the doctor and referred me to a specialist to check the symptoms. Im just wondering what this could be so can some of you give me some feed back to whats wrong with me. Symptoms: Trouble relaxing sometimes Periphrial Hallucinations Sad, sometimes hopeless Sometimes anxious for no reason Some sleeping trouble Slight moodiness Some sleeping problems (increased nightmares) Lack of motivation The real thing im having a problem with is the fear of developing a mental illness. I just cant kick the dam fear. Its annoying and irritating. It was all going away until I experienced a Hypnomatic Hallucination when i woke up (hear mom say something then a couple days later saw a figure that disapeared when I woke up). It just scares me because im 19 and thats when these things develop. It all started after I did too much of a Hard drug. Someone told me its just drug induced anxiety and it will take months to pass. Well its been 2 and a half months and I feel a lot better but i still cant get this dam fear off my mind. I also heard I could just be depressed because i dont talk to my old friends because they do drugs, and all I do is hang out at home and try and get college work done. I haven't had delusion thoughts, or think someones coming after me. I still take care of my hygiene but I'm sick of school and don't want to try anymore. I have been into my faith a lot more (christian) and just want to give up because this fear is ruining my life.