What is the funniest joke you've ever heard or read?
Plz Forgive me if you die laughing. Read it on ur own risk. This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement: Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna. I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me. I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna. I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School, Bezna Road. I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them. I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so. I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere. I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.
What do people in the army call each other?
either by rank or last name... mos...or any obscenity we can scream at each other. SSG Andrew Brown 5/7th SFOG
What are some slang terms used among police officers?
The most derogatory terms for the bad guys and citizens who are just pains in the rectum:A.H. = Adam Henry (A-dam H-enry) If you don’t get it…..sometimes you will hear it as “Jack Hole”…..now what starts with an “A” that ends with HOLE ?RICHARD CRANIUM= What starts with a “D” and is a nickname for Richard ? What is the non-medical layman’s term for the Cranium ? Do these clues HEAD you in the right direction ?
What to do about menacing neighbor kids harassing my dog?
I live in an apt complex and my neighbor's 2 boys (ages around 8 and 5?) constantly pester my dog when I take him out. It started out with throwing rocks at him and let me tell you, I have never told off someone else's kids so bad before in my life! After that, it stopped for about 2 weeks. Yesterday, however, while my dog was let off lead in a big field that is next to the bldg I live in to play fetch, these two little monsters saw me let him off of his lead and decided it was a good idea to slide tackle him and take off running. I have called the mgmt and let them know ab each incident as it has happened, as these aren't the only two, but since I don't know which apt they live in and the mother is never EVER anywhere in sight they can't really deal with the prob directly. I won't be taking my dog to play there anymore but he will still have to go outside to "potty". Anything I can do to eliminate this prob?