Hmm.. it depends on what kind of setting do you want to start out with, and it also depends on the nature of the book. For example, if it is an action-romance that is spy themed, maybe you could start off the book with the environment that your main character is in?Using the spy one as the example, the main character could be camping in a tree for a stake-out on one of those perilous missions. You could start off with describing the atmosphere (dark, wet?) and possibly linking it to the character’s past (maybe he/she had a really dark past of abuse and the atmosphere reminds him/her of the situations back then)? You might not want to just flat-out tell the reader that the main character had an abusive past, but could maybe hint at the past with conversations, actions like sneering, or the background back then (was he/she left in the dark?)Or, you could also describe the actions of the people around him/her (also part of describing the atmosphere). For example, if he/she has anxiety and every noise that people make will make him/her paranoid, you could start off with something like (annie) put her cup down with a clang, and it resonated a little louder than Im sure she intended. The scratch of her pen on her paper…the mindless chatter of the people around me…the whish of the coffee machines as the drinks dripped into the pristine white cups and were dotted with some foam art…the screech of the chairs…they all came together like a mismatched quilt, whirl-pooling in my ears.. too loud.. too loud-Also, you could start off the first few paragraphs with a conversation between the main character and his/her coworker/boss/friend/acquaintance. Something like “Hey ___, how’s it over at ___ with ___? Having fun?” “Definitely. Hitched a new job at the nearby library-cafe, pretty sweet!”I hope this helps you!
One Page Of My First Chapter, Looking For Some Feedback?
Just putting this in additional because it might not fit in Best Answer. Wow, thank you both for such good answers. These have helped me a whole lot. Sorry, aѕтoria ѕawуer cℓaire, I picked LoveDepp as best answer not because you didn’t help me, because you did, a whole lot. I chose her because she just corrected me, and a few times you just rewrote things for me. Although I appreciate the help, I don’t want anyone to write for me. But, you were really helpful and changed most of the things you said. Would you mind checking out my question about my completed first chapter? I would love feedback from people like you that are so helpful; http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...
Okay, this is very rough and hard to read. Like Lana Fisher said, the punctuation is not done well and the choppy sentences have no flow so it's a struggle to get through. I don't know if this was something you were trying to write "in voice", which the choppiness could be explained by the way the narrator talks, but it takes a really good voice to drag someone in. This character is not someone I want to know more about. I don't want to read a story if it is written this way. It would be almost too painful. I would also do like Simon Huggins suggested, if writing is something you want to go after then I would recommend taking classes. Learn the basics of writing. If you can get the basics down and try writing it out again, then you might have something or you might find something else in the learning. Practice, practice, practice. Another thing I recommend you do if you want to be serious about your writing is find a critique group, or some kind of group that will give you honest feedback on your writing and the style. Quora is a nice place to start, but finding a group devoted to writing is nice as well (I personally use Critique Circle). They have plenty of online and offline groups of people that devote time to sharing writing and helping other writers grow.
What do you think of the first paragraph in the 4th chapter of my book?
Some honest critique and opinions is what I'm looking fo thanks! this is the beginning of my 4th chapter by the way. Lena’s attitude had startled me. I thought that after she had been dumped by her only friends she would for sure accept me. I sighed, why was this so hard? I know her more about her than anyone else, even herself and she refuses to even be seen with me. Patience, I reminded myself it was only the first day, fifty-nine more to make it work. The light switched to the small white walking man and I started across the street. Stuck in the trance of my introspective thoughts, I didn’t hear the yells and screams of the few people behind me. Cars honk and I stop in the middle of the street trying to understand what is going on. Following the gaze of the crowd I look straight at the full-size black hummer heading my way at fifty miles an hour and making no attempt to stop or swerve. I froze as I spotted the driver sitting in the front seat hands firmly clenching the wheel in gleeful anticipation. I starred at the slimy red and black creature whose eyes shone of a dark charcoal black with a piercing red sliver that glinted with joy as I met his gaze of triumph with my own horrific expression. I was locked into his eyes of temptation, death, failure, depression, and every other pain that he brought people.
Can you please critique the first few paragraphs of my novel?
It's very well written and interesting. My only criticism would be that you need to lay of the thesaurus. If your vocabulary is really this exquisite naturally, then that's great and you should definitely use it. However, the beginning paragraphs seem like you were seeking out every opportunity to stick a fancy word in. It doesn't come off as natural and it actually annoyed me somewhat. Other than that, I have some grammatical tips: Typically in books, when a character is speaking, their dialog is surrounded by quotation marks "Such as these," not apostrophes 'such as these.' ‘Now, that was very rude wasn’t it’, The comma should be inside the quote, like this: ‘Now, that was very rude wasn’t it,' I saw a few more quotes that had this error, so you might want to go through it and fix them. ‘You asked for it, midget’ Make sure you put the comma after the sentence. ‘You asked for it, midget,’ Never leave a quotation open. Those are just minor things that I noticed and that can be easily fixed. I liked it and you should definitely keep this story going!
Looking for opinions on my first few paragraphs?
Awe poor Oswyn. I liked it you are a good writer. Your writing style is very mature, I can kind of tell it is from a males POV but I probably wouldn't have know if you hadn't said in the paragraph that the main character was a male. What time period are you writing in? It doesn't sound like the present or future. Might I suggest you check out Wattpad? It is an amazing site where writers from all over the world post their stories and can read each others stories. Its like deviantart but for authors. I would love to read the rest of your story :) Hope I helped.
A first chapter is like an interview.You don’t have to tell us everything, but you need to make an impression.There are the facts, of course: an average first chapter introduces the main characters, the main conflict (or what leads to it), and the setting at which the story takes place.But this isn’t a rigid formula; for example, many novels don’t introduce the main characters right away, yet the tone and plot of the first chapter still sets things for the rest of the novel.If you’re writing a fantasy novel, you would probably want to introduce the world, and maybe bits of the magic system if you have one.If you’re introducing any important characters, give us scenes that show us what kind of people they are.Then, you also show the personality - the tone of the novel. If it’s a humorous novel, throw some jokes. If it’s dark, hint at something dark. And so on.Make us have a good and true impression of what’s to come.Best of luck!
First Chapter: How does it sound?
@Wisha: Your feedback is appreciated. @juliet: Your feedback is appreciated. @Count Think: Thank you for the suggestions. I could use all the help I can get, and I'll be sure to fine-tune the manuscript as best as I can in its final editing stages. @Austin Bugeaud: Your feedback is appreciated. @Aericks: Yes, it's true. The green eyes are my main focus here...or, moreover, the character's main focus. It'll be used in varying ways in many parts of the book, and is no way insignificant. This is why it is used in the opening sentence of the chapter. It is his main focus because it is always the first thing he notices about her. I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it, but to each his own, I guess. Nonetheless, your feedback is very much appreciated, and I thank you for giving me some insight on the flow of the story. I'll be sure to go back another day and make it more 'exciting'. Ha ha.
The old method was sending a copy to friends and family to get the first review, sometimes a print version and after email system exists, people were sending email attachments to review their book.Let me be very clear that It is very difficult to judge the writer and book from the first chapter but It definitely decides the further course of action by the receiver. If first few paragraphs keeps them connected and amazed, they would continue till the end of the chapter and if first few paragraphs are common or low on interest, they would just skip the rest of the part. Such people may just say it was ok to read, please continue etc.Now let me suggest a modern way to avoid the rational feedback on your first chapter, You should share on community platforms where it is ok to post chapter wise books and engage the community. One such popular community of literature lovers in india is Read, Write, Discuss Stories . Here the unknown literature lovers would give feedback most likely in a week or sometimes in a day.That would decide further course of action from you to modify first chapter or rather continue releasing more chapters on same platform.