My mother in law is mean to me?
I have been married for almost 2 years and dated 1 1/2 yrs before that. My mother in law was very mean to me from the first meeting. Things seemed to be tolerable until a month before we got married and my mother in law was at my fiances (at the time) house to remodel the house and she was being very controlling and telling me meanly I wasnt doing the chores in the correct order as she put on her assignment list. I became upset because my fiance sided with her. After we got married the intimacy almost stopped immediately, and I found out a short time later my mother in law was telling him we shouldnt be intimate and it made her want to vomit when we showed affection to each other in front of her. Now it is almost 2 years married and after a short time of her appearing to be nice to me she is again starting problems...Last week she wanted to "talk" to my husband and I again as she has done many times since the beginning. Her "talks" consist of a lecture which lasts well over an hour usually about 2 hours and she is telling my husband and I things to be done her way in a harsh commanding voice to the point I get emotionally exhausted. Last week I stated matter of factly that I do one thing she was telling me to do differently than she was instructing and then she got very angry that I spoke during the lecture and told me I need to listen when she is giving advice because she has experience and knows better than me, and that I need to sit down and shut my mouth when she is talking. (I am in my 40's and not a child) Meanwhile my father in law as always sits there and allows her to do this, and my husband says I should not react. I am told by them that I need to learn to not react to her and when I react it is my fault for getting things out of hand in the family. I dont understand how she is able to treat me so badly all these times and never be seen as being abusive to me, but if I answer back, react or get upset with her treatment or try to vent later to my husband about it, then I am treated by them all (MIL FIL and husband) as being the mean one to her and keeping the family out of peace. If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.
My mother in law invited herself on a trip that was meant just for me and my husband. We barely get any alone time together. My husband won't tell her that she can't come. Would it be rude if I did?
Ask your husband if he actually wants his mother to go on the trip, or if he just doesn’t have the heart to tell her she cannot come. It really is ridiculous that she invited herself, no one should ever invite themselves anywhere they weren’t asked to go, and it’s almost guaranteed that your mil is deliberately interfering. Keep your wits about you and your proper manners, and offer the following this ONE TIME ONLY, while simultaneously setting firm boundaries for all future actions. Either together with hubby or just you alone:tell your mil that the activities you and hubby planned are couples activities - rock climbing, team sports, or whatever else - and there will be a significant amount of time your mil will be responsible for her own diversions. Your rooms will absolutely be on separate floors, even different hotels, in keeping with the whole concept of getting away from familiar daily life.You are more than willing to plan a great overnight/weekend getaway that is only 50 or so miles away where you can all experience significant bonding time as a family.You will reimburse any portion mil has paid on the trip thus far, and she might actually like to do that same local getaway above with a very good friend, where she gets to unwind a while from daily life and really enjoy herself with someone of her own peer group.You were somewhat thrown off course by the thought of a parent accompanying adult children on a romantic getaway, and while your budget will certainly limit these vacations to only once annually or biannually, these will be the times that you and hubby are carving out for unfettered alone time, without having to address the comfort or needs of additional guests.Some or all of this needs to be said, tastefully. I had to explain to my own mother why us grown kids weren’t all packing up to come back to live in her beautiful, sprawling home in Virginia. The operative word here is GROWN, and mothers of all ages never seem to quite come to terms with relinquishing control. It’s just a thing, one of those facts of life. So you guys don’t fret, do make the very best of the circumstances no matter which way this particular event pans out, but have a solid plan going forward. I wish all of you the very best, a safe and fun-filled trip, and a fabulous New Year.Debbie J.
How to refer to my mother in law in arabic?
My mother in law is saudi and thus far I have been able to avoid really referring to her, but she will be coming to visit soon and am getting nervous as to what to call her? I want something nice but not too formal. My hubby has not been much help, he has said I can call her her auntie....but I am sure there is something more fitting and something that she will appreciate more.
I don't get along with my mother in law, how do I keep my husband out of the middle of it all?
Really, I'm not going to go into detail about all the stupid things that make me not like my mother in law. The list is long. My question is more about my husband. I don't want him to get caught in the middle, and I try everything to keep him out of it, but, of course, he does get stuck there sometimes. The latest problem was that my MIL took my daughter without my permission or knowlege for 10 hours. I was frantic with worry when I woke up and found my daughter was gone. After my husband called his mother, and reamed her out, did she decide to drop her back off at home, after she agrued about it. Long story short, I was so mad at this woman, and freaked out about my missing kid, that I was yelling, screaming and in tears. My husband feels that I take out how mad I am at her on him. Which, I don't feel that I do. I'll admit, I am a shouter. When I get mad, I yell. Thats me. I don't yell at him, I don't blame him, I don't point fingers at him, I'm just mad at the situation. I can't talk to her and straighten this out. It has gone so far beyond that point. She refuses to talk to me, as she thinks she never does anything wrong. And of corse, my husband, in her eyes, is a saint. He really is a good guy, I don't have any complaints. I do love him dearly. However, the problems I have with her (and vise versa) are starting to stress him out a bit. He is very understanding, and always takes my side, and defends me to her. Its getting to be a strain, as she does stupid things almost daily. I don't complain about her constantly, and I'm not a ******. I'm not a winer, or overly sensitive. It's just when she does her constant interferring, and overstepping of the boundries, I get mad. What can I do to keep him from feeling torn between me and his mom? How can I be more sensitive about it all when it comes to him? I have no intention of playing nice with her, but what can I do to make it better for him? Any ideas?
Mother in Law micromanages!!!?
Well I am not trying to complain here...just trying to understand how to deal with a mom in law who always makes rules. I am forced to become 'the obidient' daughter in law everytime she makes the rules. I dont mind if she interferes in the big decisions...but not in every small detail of my life!! ...even about what i wear! for God's sake ..dont you feel its too much interference in ones life!! I really dont want to say anything bad to her...cos i know thats the way she is bought up...how do i intelligently deal with this...how do i become a little more assertive and still not hurt her feelings!?!? Please help. And my mil has come to visit me here for a couple of months and am having hell of a time dealing with her!
Should I apologize to my mother-in-law?
Both her and your husband are out of line. End of story. If your husband wont support you, and his family always makes you out to be the bad guy, then its time to ditch that toxic bunch of critters and MOVE ON. It sounds like his mother is a real power freak. She always has to be in control of the situation, and she probably runs her whole family(or at least thinks she does). Those sorts of people honestly feel like their the Ruler of their domain and just about everyone else's >:/ If you really don't want to leave your hubby, then you need to just suck it up and be the better person by ignoring her childish behavior. Stooping to her standards is lowering your own. Or,not that I think this will work, but hey its worth a shot, you can try sitting down with her and being completely sincere about your feelings toward her. It might not improve things, but it can sure make you feel better about it all!
How do I make my Mother-In-Law to treat me as her daughter?
You cannot.Because you are not the daughter. Daughter was born there and daughter in law is there through the son. I have a very different issue. I am married to a boy in the extreme south while as I am from the extreme north of India. My mother in law misses what all she could have got through a local DIL. She misses the food she could have got cooked, the way DIL dresses, the way the grandchildren communicate, the languages in the house frustrates people, the things the Mum in Law doesn't understand and likewise for the daughter in law. We don't even fight because whenever I feel like it, I act as if I can't understand what she is saying. She keeps shouting in the kitchen and I enjoy the grief she goes through at not being able to fight with me. No honestly, she likes me but she feels that she could have procured a much better daughter in law locally. She tries hard to keep it to herself but does slip off a bit here, a bit there :) But that's how it is. And none can help it.What makes it worse is that she, in her mind, keeps on comparing me to her own daughter and probably spends her days and nights in repentance over this decision :)Nevertheless, irrespective of the love or absence of it, you should still be treated respectfully and equally just like other members of the family. Neither higher, nor lower. Our mothers by default love us. Our mother in laws don't.Tend to your family, things should work good. Love is not in order :)