How do I stop my parents from forcing me to get married?
Hi,There are couple of good advices that I had read for your question. I would like to repeat those words in some other context.Warning: Please consider the following only in the extreme cases as you had already described that you are being pressurized to a great extent of depression.This is the time when you have to be bold I suggest you to make your parents aware of the following facts in the boldest way you could, without getting confiscated physically ( worst case, without getting house arrest )What will they do after your marriage if they force you to tie up with a stranger against your will? They only will visit you for some special occasions, make them realize that they are doing wrong by forcing you. How? You can tell them, that stranger may find out that he is not the correct person for you immediately or later. Then the aftermath would be the horrible thing to imagine. It will get so complicated that your parents will definitely loose their pride. Frighten them with what will happen if you let all of them down and show what their correct values are in the present generation. Of course they may be correct according to their generation then why are they forcing you to be a scape goat of their pride for some nonsense society where there are less of values than fake pride?Convey the same message to all of your relatives and friends, again you have to do it in the boldest way. Mostly relatives and friends will spread the news more faster than our present technology. So you also have to be attentive and convey the real story by yourself because either way they will know that, better if it's in your words.If they are forcing you then there is a way you can show your evilness too...by emotionally blackmailing them like what will happen if you will tell your love story to that stranger whom you are forcedly tied up to? What if you tell them that you will get mentally imbalanced if they force you to get married to any other guy other than your love?Tell them honestly and be nice if they understand, don't take advantage if they sought to understand you. If not then, Tell them what all can happen if you will be forced, like while watching T.V., show them series like crime patrol series, educate them with the present generation.Hope these all extreme ideas shall not be required to you to implement and you would be able to convince your parents, the nicest way.All the best.Happy living!Regards.
Is it hard to live as a bachelor your whole life?
Yes it is and sucks more and more as you get older. Speaking as a single, 54 year old man who has never been married I can tell you that being alone as you get older is a scary and unpleasant proposition. Now, it's relatively easy to find anyone to marry but it's not just as easy as grabbing the first available woman who will have you and tying the knot. As you get older you become more aware and sure of your values and what you want. If you are not careful you become inflexible and unable to negotiate those values. In the meantime I see around me people my age who not only have experienced the trials, pain and joy of child-rearing, but are becoming grandparents. For a long time while they were changing diapers and coaching little league I was practicing for tri-athlons, traveling the world, doing whatever activity struck my fancy and drove expensive cars. They were the winners in the long run. Yes some, perhaps many, of them divorced but they still have their families and children, they experienced the joy of transferring their knowledge and love to another generation of themselves, not strangers, and they formed intimate bonds with someone special that exceed mere friendship. I don't regret the good times I had or the adventures or the exciting romantic rendezvous but I think all those things pale in comparison to sharing consistent, cohesive moments with someone you build a future with and plan to grow old with, and do. In addition, the silence of being alone is deafening. You can fill your hours with activities, reading, volunteering and more but coming home to an empty house and wondering who will find you if you die alone in the middle of the night, and who will even care, is one of the most pathetic fears of an aging bachelor's life. I still live in hope that somewhere out there is the love of my life, waiting to be discovered somehow, but it's with increasing fear and doubt that that hope is threatened.
When and why did you choose to stay single for the rest of your life?
I turned 25 when I chose to be single for the remainder of my earthly years. There is no possibility here or now or never that I will have anyone, and it irritates me when others think it is alright to simply say, 'you just haven't found the one.'Or when they say, "who will you share your special moments with, you need someone to share life with." I value serenity. I value financial independence. I love traveling on my own, what does it matter if there is no one by my side, it is whether I am happy that counts. To others this may sound selfish, just like the choice of being child-free which I am, but how many people have I seen who are in relationships, and are just plain miserable. I've seen people in loveless relationships, in toxic ones, infidelity, abuse, drug - abuse, emotional scarring, and yet they remain with each other, slowly killing themselves for whatever reasons they can weakly explain. Now that, to me, is a waste of life, but it has also given me insight into the darkest parts of the human soul, and I did not like what I saw. That is when my streak for singleness became stronger than ever. It burned like fire. I would rather have dear good friends, than a boyfriend or husband. I choose tranquility of mind and the pursuit of knowledge than being stuck at home with two kids and a slobbering dog. In a way, I am wandering soul. I have Gypsy blood.Instead ask yourself this, "Isn't it selfish to dump one's emotional and physical issues onto another person?" "Isn't it selfish to get into a relationship simply because you feel loneliness and not love?" If you find a partner you want to marry, Kudos to you ^_^As for me, I already found the person I want to give love and happiness to...me!
If I join the air force as a single parents, will I lose custody of my daughter if her father fights me for it?
the rules may have changed to technically allow you to enlist with a LOT of strings, but it is not going to happen. there are just TOO MANY HOOPS to jump through and in this recruiting climate, with the massive downsizing that is going to take place over the next couple of years - they can fill all their slots with people that are not going to have the hassle factor. just telling you like it is. no need to get pi(ss)y with any of us because you do not like the answers you are getting. I question you were actually 'approved' for this waiver with so much going on in your life right now. a waiver for anything is not going to be approved unless you are good to go. they are not going to issue a waiver contingent on something else happening (like the mileage requirement). also I don’t see how such a waiver would ever be approved with you having 'full physical and legal custody'. but as for the greater issue - he is also the parent and he has EVERY RIGHT IN THE WORLD to go back and challenge you for custody. the court's SOLE interest is "What is best for the CHILD - what is in the CHILDs best interests" and the court CAN and DOES consider the job of the parent. His argument can be HE can provide the better home for the child because he is not subject to deployment at a moment’s notice, which is more stable for the child, not being PCS'd to different areas of the world which would 'deny me rights to see my child' and 'she CHOSE to enlist in the air force for the purpose of isolating me from my child'. things like this DO come up and courts DO consider it - just to give you advance warning. I have seen this happen more times than I can COUNT and military members CAN lose custody in situations like this BECAUSE of that - especially if the father is married, working, secure in his employment, and can provide a more stable home. so a head's up there. of course you want to know the way to get around all of this? GET MARRIED. then 'by-law' the military would see your husband as the stay at home parent (if civilian) to take care of your child if you are suddenly deployed and all of this single parent stuff is off the table. now the father can STILL petition for a change of custody order. until your child is 18 - that can happen at any time. and people wonder why I lecture about saving children for marriage!
What is it like to live a life as single forever?
Disheartening.I am in my forties and have never dated or had a “significant other.” When I was younger I didn’t mind, or at least didn’t notice, but as time has passed I have grown more and more isolated. As your friends pair off and start having families you get left behind. Opportunities for social interaction become fewer and farther between, and you end up avoiding the few things that do come your way because you don’t want to be the only single person there. For a long time people ask if you’re seeing anyone, etc., but eventually those questions become less frequent and then stop altogether as it becomes clear that the answer is always going to be “No.”You have less and less in common with your friends as family and kids become the most important forces in their lives. Before long you realize it’s been months since you’ve spoken, and the last time you were together you had nothing to talk about.When something good happens, there is no one to share it with. When something bad happens there is no one to comfort you.Seemingly innocuous interactions become embarrassing reminders that you are alone; I recently had my pupils dilated and was forced to explain that no, I didn’t have anyone to drive me home and no, there was no one I could call.You don’t cook because cooking for one is depressing, but you don’t eat out either because you feel like a sad loser sitting in a restaurant alone.Holidays are the worst. One time an acquaintance’s little girl asked me what I got for Christmas and I had no answer for her — how do you explain to a seven year old that you don’t exchange gifts when there is no one to exchange gifts with? You end up fabricating parties and events so you don’t feel so pathetic when people ask about your holiday plans.Many people are solitary by choice and lead happy, fulfilling lives. For others it is a bleak and lonely existence devoid of love or human contact, a torment to be endured until the sweet release of death finally sets you free. It all depends on the individual circumstances.
I am from India and want to stay single forever. How do I convince my parents?
Of course it’s OK. Society perpetuates this notion that you can’t be happy unless you’re coupled up.Am 27 and in the same boat as you are in. Am so tired of dogging the “when are you going to get married?” and “there is a girl we know..” conversations to a point where I do not go to any social gatherings and if I do, I make sure that don’t stay a minute more than I need to.You really don’t have to explain your situation in detail.Here’s what going to happen,If you give in to the societal demands, you will make your parents and family happy. But you won’t be happy. I’m not saying you should be selfish. But for something like this, you deserve to make the choice you want. Don’t let their emotions please, make you stay unhappy for the rest of your life.I don’t have a girlfriend, But I’m in love with a women who’s never going to be mine. And I still dread settling down with someone my parents choose for me, because she is going to be someone from my community and I just don’t see eye to eye with my family’s traditions and belief’s anymore.Will I make my parents happy?? Sure. But I will permanently fuck up the rest of my life. Not to mention the life of that poor girl who my parents marry me with, and their parents of course.My only hope is that is that my parents won’t stay mad at me for to long, and they will come to understand my decision soon.Bottom line: Your parents just want you to be happy in the end.You deserve to be happy. This is a big decision which will affect a lot of people. Choice wisely.Hope it helps!!Stay Blessed!!
Are any of you Pisces staying single? PISCES ONLY?
My pisces friend girl isthe same way, she likes her freedom, she doesn't like clingyness from males, and she says the only children she'll have is her 3 cats, she had a boyfriend once for like 3 days years ago she couldn't stand it!! Lol that was when she was, 15 now she's in her 20s and still single!! She focuses on her life and creative schooling for her future career, so no time for guys!!
Can you live without getting married and not having kids?
I am almost 40 years of age an never married or had kids. Have had alot of girlfriends. With a special one right now. But people do live all there lives without marrying or kids.
Is haram to remain single forever?
It's up to you..but Allah promised that everyone have their own soulmate....Why you don't like children? Of course sometimes they are annoying but sometimes they are adorable! That's why mother at Allah sight is higher than father...because mother have done a lot of things......you also have been a child, of course you are naughty and playful that may annoying your family... Before this I was disobedient son to my mother...I cursed her using bad words..I'm not taking her advice... But everything changes when my mother was passed away..I don't know why I'm crying for her...I'm missed her very much...That's make me realise life is short, we dont know when we will die... Mother is a high attitudes...