How do I deal with competitive friends?
I have had a few girls compete with me in the past .But I'm glad to say that I don't have this problem with the friends I have now. Because I have cut out the competitive ones. Also as soon as someone starts acting that way, I always pull away from them.In the past I had Two friends that started to look like me, they coloured their hair just as mine, started dressing the same. And even bought the same fragrance as me .They even tried to be liked by the guy i was dating.It almost felt like an obsession. I know this can sound crazy but there really are women out there like that.Real friends respect you, and they are happy for you, for the things you have. They don't try to take your happiness away from you. They don't compete.The women or men who compete are very insecure.A real strong man or a strong woman doesnt do this.I really suggest people who are in this situation to cut the competitive person out of your life, before it gets ugly. Ugly like cooking your bunny ugly, who knows !
How to deal with a competitive- know it all friend?
Over the summer my best friend of 7 years went to camp. She lost a lot of weight, got into drugs, drinking, and lost her virginity which transformed her into a confident and happy person. Before camp she had low self esteem and criticized me for being involved in drinking and smoking which I stopped to please her. Now she always tries to upstage me with everything! She acts as though she's "cooler" and "better" than I. She copies my choice in music, style, and personal beliefs then gains credit with her new popularity. Whenever we go out for a night with other friends she usually crops me out of pictures and doesn't tag me in the fb photos she posts. Her life revolves around her reputation now and she brags constantly about things like how she "just smoked before school which is f****** rad" or got tickets to a concert that I had been wanting to go to and mentioned to her. I really love and care about her, but her ego is ruining our friendship! It's affecting me emotionally that she's "rising to the top" and I'm "falling into the shadows".
Why is my friend so competitive?
Perhaps you can bring down his competitive behaviour with just an assertive comment.Next time he ask you one of those questions to try and see if you get beaten… just reply “I don’t know and I honestly don’t care because my life doesn’t really depend on it”. If he says… “you’re not much of a music or football fan, are you?”. Say… probably not, I prefer…..”.I think he can tell you get slightly annoyed perhaps at that and yeah, it could be insecurity on his side or a willingness to be playful, but yes. I have had friends like that, it’s probably some sort of jealousy, I would have never thought that in my younger days because I honestly didn’t consider myself to have anything out of the extraordinary, but perhaps it was just that calm attitude towards life which they didn’t have (perhaps some issues with his parents at home) and resented you for having such calm attitude and peace of mind, so on they went probably on an attempt to make you feel like a “loser” probably because they felt like one and they don’t know how to deal with it effectively.If you’re very close perhaps say “are you ok? everything ok at home?” if he says “yes, why?” and just say “well, lately I’ve been noticing certain strange behaviours that don’t belong to the guy I used to know. Seems like I have to compete at everything, and I honestly can’t be bothered about proving anyone right or wrong or be the first or last. Life in general is a competition in itself when it comes to work and all, so I prefer my friendships just to feel more like friendships. In school, you have to be competitive to get the best student results… at work you have to compete to get the best promotion and a better position in life may depend on it, in a disco you probably also have to compete to look the more attractive guy, but between a friend and myself… I just can’t see the need”. And see perhaps what he makes out of it. Perhaps point out that life is way bigger than winning or losing a game, or a match, or the name of a song playing in the radio. And that being successful in life doesn’t mean that you have to be an expert at doing everything, but only those things you enjoy the most. Perhaps that may calm him down a bit.
What is the best way for a non-competitive person to deal with very competitive people?
These kind of people can be irritating because others around them are simply seen as a way to measure themselves, not for relationships. It’s all games in their head.Similar to narcissists, a good strategy is to simply not engage with them and keep your distance. I get it because I also thrive when not competing. Just feeling better about yourself in your head doesn’t mean you are thriving. I’ve done that before and I was lonely, that isn’t thriving. If enjoying life is just about comparison, that’s a sick way to live one’s life.I think the goals direction is right. Be your authentic self with your goals, and don’t broadcast them to the world. Also don’t forget to enjoy the smaller things in life along with achieving your goals.
How should I deal with a competitive friend who avoids me due to envy?
A lot of people have advised you to make a new friend, but I don’t think you would be here asking this question if that’s what you truly wanted. Many siblings compete with each other and are envious of one another, but they don’t have to just quit being friendly because of it. Perhaps you should try to consider why they might be competing with you. Are you competitive also? Have you achieved things that the other person hasn’t been able to? Do you rub this in his or her face unintentionally? Do you compare yourselves to one another?We can not control anyone else, but we are capable of controlling our own behaviors. You can refuse to compete with your friend. You don’t have to discuss your accomplishments around them. You may be able to rebuild your relationship, but it will require being humble and taking a good look at whether or not you are participating in this competitive behavior that might leave them feeling less than.
How to deal with a competitive one-upper?
how do I deal with someone who always one ups me in everything? I noticed the people who don't like me or feel insecure around me feel the need to keep bringing up how great this other person is to see my reaction to this person.. and the person they keep trying to bring to my attention is the one who always has to one up me in everything from the way I wear my hair and makeup to my academic awards.. this person also copies me but tries to do it better..im kinda annoyed now. How do I handle them? it's really starting to irritate me.. and that's what they want but it's hard not to be irritated/ I cant get away from this person because we are in the same classes and I cant switch to another class because the class I want to go to is already full. And about this person.. this person kinda intimidates me because she is very pretty and I am pretty too but she does have some things about her face that I wish I had.. she copies me and I guess wants to be better than me and when I see her sometimes I get intimidated.. I don't feel jealous or anything just frightened.. I don't know why I feel fear but its not all the time. and then I get angry when she one ups me because I know I can do better but I don't feel the need to compete with her.. she competes with me. why does she do this? she also ignores me. please help thanks :)
How should I deal with a jealous & over competitive friend?
Change the dynamic of the friendship by spending less time with them or completely end the friendship. I have dealt with friends who are very competitive and jealous with me and they were so determined to have what I have that they ended up doing some pretty mean things to me and I ended up getting pretty hurt. I don’t want to be friends with someone that competes with me or is jealous of me. You don’t want to be with someone like that all it does is add negativity to your life . Think about that the next time you think you want to spend time with your friend because you’re wasting time on somebody that’s never going to be a good friend to you and always will be competitive and jealous especially if you would allow them to and still engage in the friendship. Cut the Friendship off it will prevent a lot of pain in the future.
Why is my best friend so competitive?
My best friend has become very competitive with me lately. She constantly compares our quiz results everywhere and has this strange need to be better than me at everything, mostly when it comes to studies. It isn't fair because I've been suffering from depression and my personal life has been really crap, and ultimately this has affected my grades. She calls me an airhead a lot, and all kinds of other silly things, and it bothers me because I know I can be better than that. I am not just an airhead with a great sense of humour (me and her laugh a lot). I'm also an intelligent person with a philosophical, serious side. But she makes me feel lower than her for some reason. I don't know if she does this on purpose or not, but this is how I feel sometimes. I don't get why it's so important for her to be better at things than others? She keeps on bringing up that time when both of us had to write an essay for the next day and how it took her only 1-3 hours to write it while it took me approximately 6 hours because it was harder for me to write in my native tongue after living abroad for 8 months. Also, another weird thing I've noticed is that she refuses to let me introduce her to some of my other friends. Her excuses include feeling uncomfortable around new people and hating social events like that. Yet she expects me to welcome ALL of her friends without any exceptions. So now, it's always her and her brother and their common friends. See, I don't mind having a little company but I just don't understand why I'm never allowed to bring any of my friends? I am hoping that some psychologists here can shed some light on this. It'd be much appreciated!