Good first date: pizza place or Italian restaurant?
I'm thinking of asking a girl out to lunch, but where to? I had a nice Italian restaurant in mind but then I had second thoughts since it might be a bit too... romantic (I don't want to put on too much pressure). Then I started thinking about a pizza place that I've been to a couple times. It's not a hole in the wall-- it's about as upscale as pizza can reasonably be. Of course, that might be less desirable because it's not special at all and I might be perceived as being cheap or something. So which should I pick? Classy or casual?
What kind of restaurant should I go to on a first date?
I usually don't recommend going to the restaurant for a first date, because it's so easy to get the venue wrong (too fancy or not fancy enough) and after 10 minutes having exhausted all topics, because of the high strung nerves, sitting their awkwardly or asking 1000 question nobody ever asks or wants to answer. It is better to do some kind of activity together you both enjoy on a first date.Examples: Bowling, fairs, festivals, amusement parks, hiking, climbing, museum, special sightseeing (like haunted tour, etc), cinema and a drink or snack after the activity, are usually the better options. The activity keeps both of you occupied thus calming the nerves, yet still able to be only the two of you (therefore no dancing, unless you like ballroom dance or salsa or similar), and gives you tons of things to talk about.Restaurant usually work better when one is not nervous anymore, like anniversaries.Thanks for the request.
What are some restaurants to avoid on your first date?
All of them.Meet at a coffee shop, or equivalent.Let your first date be as casual as possible. Spend an amount of money you can afford to burn; let it be short, let it have easy get-aways. If you like each other, it's easy enough to decide what you want to do on the second date. Too many first dates turn out badly, for want of a better word, and if that's likely to happen, I only want to be out the cost of a cup of coffee. In addition, I can always afford to buy coffee for someone, so one of you gets to treat the other without it being an imposition on a wallet. I recall someone asking me for a first date on a Saturday night at a nice restaurant (from an on-line contact) and that much commitment was enough to take him off the list completely.
Have you ever been to a restaurant where your date flirted shamelessly with the waiter/waitress?
Yes, and he claimed that I was insecure and had a “creative imagination,” but could not have been more obvious. He still shamelessly flirted with waitresses after we were married, and most likely continues this behavior while on dates with his current wife.People flirt. I get it. But if a man is on a date with me he should “be” with me. I believe in acknowledging people, smiling at them, and being polite at all times, but I can tell when someone is “shamelessly” flirting. It has nothing to do with insecurity or imagination. I’m not the least bit insecure and the accusation shows sociopathic tendencies—an attempt to manipulate my emotions, avoid apologizing for rude behavior, and it’s a lie.I made the mistake of changing the subject to avoid an argument. That, too, was a mistake because it allowed him to believe he could do it again and try to convince me that I was somehow responsible. Then it became a game. I did my best to ignore his behavior and he tried as hard as he could to disrupt our evening with never-ending flirtations with other women. By the time I managed to get out of the relationship (it’s not as easy as walking away when you have a sociopath in your life) I felt beaten and exhausted. Now, if a man flirts when I’m on a date, I still don’t respond. I pick up my purse and coat and leave.Asking the waitress about her favorite meal on the menu is a common question. I would do the same because most restaurant employees know what is good on the menu and what to avoid. However, telling her she’s pretty, has beautiful eyes, asking why she doesn’t have a wedding ring—it’s not only rude to me, it’s insulting to the waitress who is simply trying to do her job and certainly does not need to have her dinner rush hour table turn delayed by a rude flirt.
Purchasing alcohol underage at restaurants?
Im 20 years old, and do not currently have a fake ID. my problem is not getting alcohol, i can do that whenever i want, but rather getting it at restaurants. What i mean is like if i was on a date with a girl, and we were at maybe a halfway decent restaurant. I would like to enjoy a glass of wine or two with my date over dinner just for atmosphere. Do you think the waiter or whoever takes the drink orders would be very strict on carding me for trying to buy a bottle of wine? I figure if im at a restaurant and not some bar or whatever, they might think "hey, if this guy is here, and has the balls to order a bottle of wine, hes probably old enough" but i dont know. I just dont want to be embarassed by having them catch me in front of a date. What would be a good way to do this? Just ask for it like i know what im talking about and have ordered it before? Or should i try slipping them a 20 on the side or something? And dont just tell me not to drink underage
Is the Olive garden to much on a first date?
The Olive Garden restaurants that I've been in have all been noisy and crowded -- two things that don't contribute to a good first date. Service is either really, really good or really, REALLY bad, which is another potential problem you don't need on a first date. For the same money, you could probably make reservations at a smaller, quieter local restaurant, preferably one with a little history. We have a restaurant in the town where I live that's housed in a building from the 1850's. It served as a battle headquarters for General Grant during the Civil War, and it has a lot of interesting artifacts from that period. The food is better and cheaper than Olive Garden, plus you have something to talk about if the conversation lags. The usual first/every date rules apply: leave the cell phone at home, don't hog the conversation, and make sure your personal hygiene is up to par. Don't talk about the price of the food, leave a good tip for the wait staff, and use your best table manners. Ditto on the trip home -- be polite and tell her that you enjoyed the date. All of this is just common sense stuff, and the fact that you're concerned enough to ask tells me that you'll do fine.
How can I avoid being humorless in my first date?
The thing is trying to be something you are not is an instant killer to any date. Yes, you should observe certain standard rules - always be polite, always be respectful, open doors for her, don't eat with your mouth full etc. First dates are about getting to know each other, about getting comfortable around one another, exchanging stories and if one of them happens to be a funny then let it flow. But don't force it, don't try too hard to try to make the date into something it's not. Have fun, relax and just enjoy each other's company.
How can I avoid dating girls who are just looking for a free meal and not interested in dating? How can I avoid girls who are probably not interested from the beginning but still go out with me?
First Date Guidelines1. Location: A public park, cafe, library, ice cream parlor, zoo, public museum: i.e., some place where your expenditure will be $10 tops and some place that is very public and not too intimate.2. Time Limit: 30 minutes. When you ask for the date, tell the girl you have somewhere you need to be so you only have 30 minutes. 3. Ask questions about her, listen politely, answer her questions directly and honestly. However, keep your 30 minute deadline strictly. The deadline communicates that you have other priorities in life. It is a subtle way of displaying self-confidence.4. At the end of the date, no physical contact expected except perhaps a brief hug if things went well.Asking for the Second DateAsk for a second date only if:1. You liked her. Not you kind-of liked her. Not you could tolerate her. Not she was OK, except for when she talked about astrology for 20 minutes. You actually, truly enjoyed the conversation and liked meeting her.2. She did not say anything in date 1 that was a dealbreaker, ("I spend every weekend at the craps table", "My father is a white supremacist on the FBI's most-wanted list" "I love to do X and go to orgies, do you?", "My last boyfriend was a professional wrestler; he is very jealous.", "How much do you make?")3. She showed signs in date 1 she was into you (she asked questions about you, she smiled and made eye contact, she touched you in conversation, she laughed at your jokes)When you ask for a second date, ask if she enjoyed the first date. If she seems anything less than delighted about date 1, she wasn't that into you. Tell her you enjoyed meeting her and move on. If she enjoyed the first date, then ask her for date 2, which can be in a more intimate place and can involve spending some money.This process will filter out the casual daters, and also catch girls who are a poor personality fit before you spend a lot of money and invest yourself too deeply.
Why is it considered rude to discuss politics or religion in a public social setting?
Because society is based on the idea of 'us', i.e., a group of co-operating individuals who share some convergent interests*. The objective of a conversation in a "public social setting" is at worst to not stroke animosity, and at best, to help people bond. There is no point in having a 'social conversation' if the topic under discussion threatens the very idea of 'us'. Politics and religion do just that. Your listeners might feel that you are with them on certain issues, until you come up with polarizing comments that makes them think again. It could be something as simple as praising the work of a political personality, without realizing that that personality carries a pretty bad reputation in the circles of your listener. At which point, you are branded as either ignorant, or worse.Similar problems arise while making 'rational' or 'comparative' comments regarding religion. You can't expect to socialize in a Batman fan club if you explain to them how The Dark Knight is simply a rehash of earlier fiction. Factual correctness is not even important here; religious people are emotionally bonded to the tales they grew up with. If you are calling them out on that, the last thing you should hope for is to become their trusted friend.Perhaps the real problem is that we often underestimate possible conflicts of interest and value dissonance in a diverse group of people, to the extent that people who are aware of such potential pitfalls make better managers/leaders. The principle of staying away from politics and religion in social conversations is merely a "let's play safe" heuristic to prevent conversations from becoming uncomfortable.* interests as in "a nation's security interests", not "my interests include baseball".