How can I help my guy friend feel better?
One thing I learned from a divorce and re-marriage; Don't expect happiness to come from another human being ... Someone else can *enhance* your life, but happiness comes from within. By enhance, I mean to make "more complete". Now is the time for him to do something he *always* wanted to do but didn't have the opportunity to ... bungee jumping, rock climbing, *anything* that his ex-gf said he couldn't do.
My brother's girlfriend just miscarried. What do I say?
I lost my first baby when I was 20 (she was 6 months along). The best support I got was from those people who hugged me, said they would pray for the baby, and that they loved us. I wasn't close to my sister and we were living in different states at the time. She wrote a beautiful letter saying how sorry she was and how much I meant to her at this difficult time--she'd never said anything like that before so it meant more than anything else. The absolute WORST thing to do is to tell the grieving parents--but especially the mother--that there was something wrong with the baby and it's better that the pregnancy ended or nature takes care of defective babies. That's all the mother needs to hear--that her body couldn't nurture her own child and that maybe it was something "defective" with her that caused the miscarriage. It causes a guilt trip and makes her more anxious about conceiving again. While I was in the hospital recovering from the D&C a priest came to visit me to "cheer" me up. He actually said these things to me. I couldn't think of anything else but that afterwards. The baby wasn't defective, I was. Also, don't say to try to get pregnant as soon as possible. Her body needs to heal. She needs to mourn the loss alone and with your brother. Remember, he's suffering too. When I went back for my 6-wk check-up my OB/GYN told me to get pregnant within 6 mo. or I'd never have a child. I followed his advice but got a different doctor. It was a terrible pregnancy and I almost lost that baby twice. This doctor told me after my son was born that it had been too soon and my body wasn't ready to carry another child. It explained all the problems I had and maybe some of the birth defects my son had. Fortunately they haven't stopped him from doing what he wants, but it could have been worse. I guess what I'm trying to say is be there for them. Tell them you love them and the baby (don't not acknowledge it).
If the girl you love has a boyfriend, what do you have to do?
You do not have to back out , you must believe in yourself, be confident . You need to understand you are not any lesser or inferior than her boyfriend. You deserve to be with her as much as he deserves her, or even more. May be you will make her even happier. Maybe you both would have been in a relationship right now, if they both had never met.Talk to her , become close friends with her, understand what kind of person she is, observe what qualities she sees in her boyfriend and learn what makes her be with him , what makes her happy. Now you will have a better shot at this whole thing because u know her in person, you know what you are dealing with. Put emphasis on those similar qualities which makes her love him at the same time you and her boyfriend have , excel in that areas, be better than him, treat her better than him , show her you are better than him , not make yourself available all the time, but be there for when he isn't . This is just a rough plan on how to break them up and on how to get things done, i do not know who you are or what kind of person she is so i cannot be there for specifics.Well, now this whole thing can go down in two ways.Either you are gonna be her boy friend or you are gonna be her close friend , a really important person about whose well being she's gonna care about.Good luck , break em up , cheers… Peace!!!