How to deal with an asshole father?
I love my father dearly but I just don't like him. He's a complete jerk to everyone in my family, especially to me and my mum. He believes he deserves respect and yet he shows none to others, and he overreacts to every little thing. I don't throw around my respect to everyone who's older than me, as some are taught to do. People have to earn my respect and treat me the way they would like to be treated. I respect my father as a working man and as an engineer, but not as a father. He is a very prideful person and believes he is always right. He wouldn't listen to me when I tried teaching him about skull structure while he was trying to sculpt a face. He is the biggest hypocrite I've ever seen, and he talks about others being hypocritical. He has very overwhelming anger, so when I try to confront him on his unacceptable behaviour he will try and force you to think that he is right. So what I want to know is this: how can I get him to realize how much of a jerk he is without being intimidated when he is mad, how can I remain calm and collected throughout this process, and how can I get a psychological advantage during an argument or during a situation where I tell him calmly to show more respect to others?
How do I cope with the death of my father?
One midnight around 0200 A.M. my father came to Chennai in a car and told just after a severe caughing he couldn't speak for 10 sec. He wanted to admit in a hospital immediately for that. He was admitted and all tests were carried out and found plaque at the junction of main arteries in the neck. No solutuon for that except an operation which had very poor success rate. He was treated with medicines only.Till the age of 63 he was never admitted in a hospital. After that incident hospital was very much dear to him. He kept on changing doctors and hospitals every time.Finally one day he fell in coma ,within three days,soul detached from his body.I knew he was going to die soon and preparing everybody for that incidence. But none were accepting the reality. It was 4 a.m when he lost his life and every body started crying only. Nobody was there to help me. I was doing alone all the arrangements.In the background ,I was thanking him for all the good things done in my life.He never scolded me except two or three occasions , that I used to treate it as a noble prize.Teaching Swimming etc, Encouraging me to buy things for the family /agriculture at the very young age itself.When I failed in the Pre University Exam, he might be the only father to suggest a tutorial college without scolding.When I asked him for the admission for the aviation course, he gladly agreed as if he was going to study.Even after my mother's objection to Pilot training,he coolly permitted me without her knowledge.He was encouraging and supporting me at every turning point in my life.Now coming back to the question.As a father he did his duties more than any father. He was proud of my achievements in my life. He was very much sick for four years and had more than enough trouble. It was his time to go.So I never grieved at that time. But problem was whose ever came and met me with sad mood got a shock because I had no feelings in my face. I was inside thanking him for all the good things done to me. Only once i cried for five minutes during that period.For my successful life till now ,my father was the root cause.Thank you Father.Thanks to Quora to express my feelings.
How can i deal with my negative father?
If you are in college then you are a man & should not be co-habitating with your dad. You can't have 2 queens under 1 roof nor can you have 2 kings under one roof. It just don't work. Being negative is a habit that you cannot break unless you recognize you have that habit. Having said that, you need to get your own castle. You cannot change your Dad's behavior but you can lead by example and fake it till you make it. You need to separate from your dad. There is no reason for a grown man to still be at your childhood home. That just breeds pathetic. We are seeing more & more of these grown-ups still sucking off the parental teet way past the time they should be long gone & building their own life. I blame the student loan/slave program for enabling this to keep happening. Folks think going to college means nursing off what your parents have acquired for an extended time. This causes social retardations. You will have to leave that environment to move forward in life. The fact that you are in college and still involved with mommy & daddy indicates the retardation has set in. You are a man now. Go get your own stuff, your own tools and fix you. Or should I say develop you. Good Luck on your adventure. It could be scary & fun. Won't know till you try.
How do I deal with the early loss of my father?
I am so sorry about your loss of your father.A father's love is the building block of our lives; we can grow in lives, but we can't outgrow his love and support. I have personally known people who had lost their fathers very early in life and still miss him, have teary eyes when they think about the moments spent with him and the difference their father made in their lives.So, over the time I've realized that their is no instantaneous remedy to deal with the loss, and it is because fathers share a big part of our lives. And though a little bitter, but the honest truth is that time is the biggest healer, you will get along in your life eventually.I would suggest that you try to:Remember the good things your father taught you, and do them. Father always remains alive in his kids. Remember him the special way.Remember how you father made you proud? Remember those moments and remember them fondly. Smile but don't try to run away from the tears that come along with it.Talk about your father to the people who miss him as much as you do. Talk about the good times they had and cherish the old memories.If your mother has lost his husband, then it is she who needs the attention the most. Spend good amount of time with her.The gist is, if you run away from memories, more of them will try to block your day, but if you take them with you, you will find the memories are not be erased, but to be cherished.
I can't deal with my father anymore?
You cannot change people. People change themselves. You already know the path, but it does not make it any more easier to take. This type of behavior is the kind that does not change unless the person wants to change, and usually has a guide to help them (professional help) Your father sounds like the type of person who is not self-examinating. You can tell him all say long why he is wrong- If he fears what you say- he may not accept it. Again- I think you understand he has a defense mechanism of self-ignorance. He doesn't like something about himself- he is not going to dwell on it. Move in with your sister. Get a job. Visit often. Do not accept monetary gifts. Tell your father, if he wants to give you a gift- you want the gift of family interaction. He is responding to his environment the only way he knows how. Only he can change himself. The only guidance he will accept is the gentle, unobvious kind. Reward him for positive behavior (give him want he wants), make change easy on him. Forgive him for outbursts. Don't rub his past mistakes in his face or he will resist change. When he misbehaves, do not give anger in return- but leave. He obviously wants a relationship with you. Tell him you will return when he is "Approachable, and in a better mood" as his behavior is something you do not want to interact with. This will show him that his incorrect behavior has a direct result. If he does not want that result, he needs to change his behavior. When he is angry- act calmly- as if his anger is what is out of place- not YOUR LACK of anger. It is not your place to fix your father. He seems as if anything overt will NEVER work- you can try to gentle push him towards acceptable behavior, but it has a high chance of failure- just by the nature of the beast (the situation- not your father) If you fail in guiding him to change, please don't blame yourself- but at least you will know you did give it a chance, using a method that had the best chance of success. Good luck
How to deal with my INSENSITIVE FATHER?
im getting really sick of his crap. see a year ago, i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. hes so insensitive about it! after i tell him i wanna be a dr. for a carrer he says "well, you might not make it though med school, but your sis will, ya know just cuz ur..." and he calls my psychiatrist a "shrink". i hate that term! and he doesnt even treat me like a person anymore. he doesnt hear anything i have to say, he just writes it off as "being bipolar" even if i am stable!. how do i deal with these actions/comments? it really does hurt me when he acts like that.
How should I deal with my ignorant father?
Do you have to engage?Do you absolutely have to set him straight?It always takes two to tango.Take yourself out of this equation (don’t be available when he wants to enlighten you) and suddenly you have all this time to be productive, be with your own thoughts (meditate?), be with people whose company you enjoy, read, watch a good movie, have fun.Ask yourself Why do I engage at all? Is it inescapable? Why would I need to set him straight? How does this thing affect my life? Do I really need this? Have I nothing better to do?Remember what Dale Carnegie once said:'A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still'
How do I deal with the never ending expectations of my father?
Well you stop giving a damn about your father's expectations. Your father seems to be having the “entitled class problems” (something similar to first world problems). It would have been okay, if as a parent he were worried about your financial independence. That's all he should have cared about. But he's gone beyond and is trying to dictate every step you're taking.While many parents are still working hard or dream of providing good school education to their children and are worried sick when their children can't find a job even, your father here is disappointed about you cracking CAT and not taking UPSC! He isn't happy about your accomplishments so far, the fact that you cracked the JEE, went into an IIT and got a job when there are students who don't even survive IIT (relatively few in number but imagine their parent's point of view), and got placed while in campus.Stop giving a damn and stand up for your choices otherwise the expectations would never cease. It's UPSC now, then how you do your job next, whom you marry, when you start having children and how many, and how you raise them. And then your father's expectations would shift to your kids.Stop trying to please your dad. You have accomplished so much and still can't be pleased about them because that's not what your father wants. Imagine when you make a mistake or fail in the future. You'd feel even worse because you're already under pressure to please your father.You weren't born to live up to your parents’ expectations. You're born because your parents wanted a child, it was their selfish reason. You don't have to be grateful and repay a kindness by living your life according to your parents. Because sooner or later you'd get frustrated and vent it out on people close to you.