Is it good to share your misery and problems with everyone?
No, its a very bad idea to share you misery with everyone, but its always a comforting act to share with someone in whom in you can confide to. Let me try and explain and make more sense to you.Everyone has their own share of perils and problems in life. Life is not a bed of roses as we see in movies or on facebook timelines of other people. Its a big pain trying to shelve everything within yourself, keeping calm and behaving as if things were normal. These problems may be a very much hypothetical things, a procreation of events around you which inadvertently made you feel insecure or created some kind of discomfort. These emotions tend to put you down, push to the wall and put you in a corner. Now, it a concept of physics which says if you push something hard, its bound to come back with a greater force. So, when some of these emotions and feelings make you feel low, corner you, one is bound to act in an insane way unless you let go of the feeling and the best way is sharing with people. Thats very much comforting, telling others what made you feel low and getting a warm hug in return. Works like wonder 99% of times. The problem happens when you tell your worries to someone who is not a enthused audience(is not actually bothered to hear about your problems). Thats when people start talking and when this person talks to others, he/she adds his/her predicament and judgement to it. And the judgement may be completely wayward and uncalled for. Worse, people can actually take advantages of your situation by making you feel worse.The best way to cure yourself of this is to figure out a person who can be your best confide. Share things with that person only(can be anyone, you mom, sibling, spouse or even a colleague). Remember this person is one who you know will not turn your back against you even if things turn sour between you guys.
Have you ever had a friend closer to you than family?
All my close friends are closer to me than family. I couldn't cry in front of my family with being told to “stop being a _ussy. “ Forget talking about and sharing dreams and aspirations with my family. My mom always pitted us against each other.We could all play piano very well by 8 or 9 years old. I never mastered the guitar but my eldest brother did. My second eldest brother could play bass and drums. We could all sing very well. We would play and sing with the church choir or at memorials or fairs. If we made money I didn't see any but if I asked for a break or a snack mama was like “you were off key”, “you sound flat,” or “you're not as important as your brother. “ All she did was goat me into singing worse out of spite. I loved singing but she took all joy out of it. Telling her I had aspirations beyond being a pregnant teen bride would have kept her squawking about how I thought I was better than her.My friends are my family. We can share a lot more than jokes and hobbies. They helped keep my head afloat, gave me shelter, and start businesses. They gave me a chance and everyone is better for it. I been sharing and living dreams with my friends for a long time. If I was ever alone it was by choice. They still don't mind me crying after all these years.
Is it okay to talk about family problems with friends?
Let me tell you my story:One day my father was very angry on me and scolded me. Definitely, it hurts a lot, and many days later i may have shared to two persons : one, a close friend and another, a best friend that "my father is a very strict person" and expects me to be a better person.Close friend : It's okay yar, forget it. Pitaji hai, tujhe nahi daatenge tere bhale k liye toh kise... (He is your father, if he won't scold you for your betterment, than who would)Best friend : Ye jab hua tab mai kaha tha, miss kar diya \U0001f601 (where was i when this happen with a grin, missed it). Most of the time we are together, either at his home or mine. So we know most of each other life.Remember friend, that in this fast technologically driven life, we may be socially active but are very close to loneliness. And we have a urge to tell all of our daily events to at least one of our close friend. So, no harm in doing that, flow your emotions, ease your heart, but that does not mean that you have to bitch about your loved ones.On one hand you are saying they are your loved ones, then try to pick up positive things about them, no need to bitch about them, matter could be anything, but can be discussed and resolved.If you have felt guilty, it surely tells you have done something incorrect. Don't repeat it and find another way.Best luck and wish that your family issues get resolved and never happen again.
My wife is too attached to her family; this is seriously ruining our marriage. She visits them at least twice every week. How do I deal with this?
Take it from an Egyptian ArabFor Remi Hansen’s records, it is the 18th century here. (joking)You are newly married. Both she and her mother will find it difficult to face the sudden change, which is her marriage living away from them. Do not be bothered so early. things will take a time to take its new shape. I suggest you help her trying to appear as a son to her mother. Without being a brother to your wife (Joking)Keep in mind, If your wife changed the habits suddenly, this will hurt her parents. especially her mother. she wants to prove them that marriage did not take her away from them. it is good to have such a wife. it is good for you.you also need to know that it is a bless to have a wife that is attached to her family rather than a wife that is having problems with her family.When you have your first child, she will start to find it difficult to keep the rhythm.I suggest you support her with what she is doing. let her feel that you miss her and you are fine with what she is doing.visiting her family twice every week is not too much.Suggest to have a sleepover with her at her parents home. (if they don't mind) she will love you more. don't panic. take it easy. don't have fights with her for her taking care of her parents. even if she is prioritizing them over you. Enjoy !
If my girlfriend is dealing with personal problems that she'd rather not talk about, what should I do?
If my girlfriend is dealing with personal problems that she'd rather not talk about, what should I do?I know that if you are in a semi-serious relationship and you care about this girl, then you will want to know what is going on in her life and how you can help her.Sometimes however… people have to handle things on their own. Since you don’t know what’s going on, you have to handle things a certain way. I would advise trying something like this:“Hey babe, I know you’re going through some tough stuff right now. I understand that things aren’t always easy to talk about, but if you need me I am right here for you. I hope sometime you will be comfortable enough to go ahead and tell me so I can help. Until then, whatever you need from me let me know, and if I can help in anyway let me know. I love you darling”Then kiss her on the forehead and proceed with the day. If she opens up then, listen. Intently. If she opens up at all, make sure you listen and pay attention and don’t do anything that would be insulting. If and when she opens up, it is a very personal thing for her, and you want her to understand you really do care for her.I hope things work out for you two. I know exactly what you are going through. I wish you nothing but the best. Good luck.
Biologicaly who is closer related to an individual, is it their siblings or their children? For example is my mother closer related to her sister or me, her child?
As others have pointed out both full sibling and child should be about half in genetic inheritance. However if you ask the broader question of who is closer overall it is important to consider maternal imprinting and other effects that are passed down to children from the mother. She is genetically 50% with her sister because her parents each scrambled their own sets of chromosomes twice. The same chromosomes were scrambled, but not in the same way so about half the time they are the same from grandmom and granddad. Your grandmother passed on epigenetic marks to each of them spread across those regions. Half the time their maternal epigenetic marks should be from the same chromosome ancestry, leaving 25% of their marks the same genome wide (they share 50% and 50% chance mom passed on same mark to each). However when she had you she contributed 50% of your genome and all the epigenetic marks across that 50%. So you share half of her epigenetic marks, more than your aunt. This will not always be significant, but neither are gene mutations.
What are the benefits of a joint family?
Growing up in a joint family comes with its own set of merits and demerits. The benefits of staying in a joint family are as follows:1.) You get your cousins as your first best friends. You can discuss anything with them as the understand you and your family better than others.2.) There are times when all the cousins gather together and your grandparents tell you stories (including fairy tales, ghost stories, your parents crazy childhood etc.). Knowing the childhood of your parents and all your uncles and aunts makes you feel even closer to them.3.) When you are scolded by your parents there will be people to console you and make you feel better all the time.4.) Huge amount and variety of mouth watering food is cooked. (Even the same meal tastes different when different people cook.)5.) If you need something tell anyone and you will get it. ( Want something and parents refused, no problem uncle got it.)6.) Want permission to go somewhere just butter your grandmom and you are all set. Parents don't refuse your grandparents.)7.) The atmosphere during festivals is very sky high exciting. Preparation for the festival, food, gifts, late night talks and the excitement cannot even be described. Even the smallest occasions are celebrated beautifully.8.) Sometimes you have to convince some of your family members on some issues which improves your convincing skills.9.) Sometimes they will stop you from doing something with high risk. If you really want to try something new, you will have to go against them to prove that you can do it. It will boost your self confidence and self esteem.10.) You learn adjusting with so many people. This will help you further in life.11.) You have to tolerate many unnecessary fights and arguments which makes you very patient.12.) You always stay close to your culture and traditions.13.) You can trust all the people around you. Everyone loves you unconditionally.Family will motivate you in all aspects of life and will always be there when you need them.
Is it incest or wrong if we share the same dad but different moms?
i have a half sister (same dad) and we have never met because our parents were really young and whatnot but i had a dream about her one night and i knew it was her just because... well idk how i knew at the time but we kissed in that dream so when i woke up i took it as a sign that i should try to find my sister so i went on Facebook. turns out she looked the same in real life as she did in my dream so that was odd and then after a few months of talking every day through text and video chat i finally opened up and told her that i had very strong emotional feeling towards her (not brother sister feelings, lover feelings) she told me that she couldn't say much about it considering she felt the exact same way. we decided it wasn't a bad thing since we had never met or talked to each other in our lives and that it would be okay if we wanted to be togeather. since then we have had many sexual encounters as well, as subtle as they may be considering we have still not me, they were very sexual. i think this happened because we are like the same person but different gender and all that. i guess im just wondering if this is wrong. I've talked to a few friends and none of them said they think its wrong, they all said that given the circumstances they don't see a problem with us being together and that they support us fully. any thoughts?
Favoritism and unfair treatment among families?
whether you're a parent yourself or a child, please leave your opinions or share experiences. This is not a rant. I just want input on whether it's common or not. If it is though, why?. Do parents unfairly favor a certain child over their other children? Are some of them given more privileges and punished less just because the parents favor them more? Please let me know what you all think. I know from personal experience, my brothers have definitely been treated better than me. If I used to called my brother a name or hit him (like the brother to brother hit, not the abuse kind) I'd be grounded. If my brother did the same, he'd get a scolding or mom just blew it off. This wasnt just once. It occurred all thru my youth. There were many times when I was furious with this kind of unfair treatment. No, I wasnt a bad kid. I was the oldest tho, that could be a reason. If I was doing homework/free time , i'd be interuppted with chores, but not my brothers. its just so weird. Thx for reading.