Has anyone ever visited a childhood home that is now owned by someone you don’t know?
Spooky, lost my nerve.
How long is normal to grieve for a dead pet dog?
Grief is unique to you and your circumstances. Never let anyone tell you it's not okay to grieve for your lost doggy friend -- I'll bet she/he was more like family right? My sister grieved for ours for a couple of years. At first we thought it was strange but in hindsight it was more about family and circumstance. Being only three when we got him, my sister had never known a life without our dog Sam. Within a one year time span I moved across the country, our parents spilt up and our dog died. It was rough. She even started making us sister scrapbooks of him. With duplicates of all the photos she could find, she intended to make two almost identical scrapbooks, one for each of us. About three years after Sam died my mom sent me a huge box. Inside was all of the goods for making the books. Turns out my sister had been trying to make the books to surprise me but every time she took the pictures out she'd cry and end up doing very little. I must admit I cried when I saw all of them too, it was like seeing a lost bit of your childhood, but I finished the books, which were about half done, and now we both have one!I have another dog now, a different breed but thy have similar traits, and even now I bring that book out every once and a while. Our pets are more than pets, they are family and we should grieve however we please!
Problems with my grieving husband?
My husband just lost his father to cancer and at first he seemed to be taking it well but then one day he just came out of no where going off on me about things I'm not doing. It's something he expects me to be doing that I'm not doing and when I ask him what it is he says I've been with him for 10 years I should know already. He said today I just don't get it and I never will. I must say that my husband know that I have issues with my childhood that I've been just recently dealing with. I have a serious problem with affection. It sounds crazy but as much as I want to be affectionate I truly don't know how to go about it. I wish someone could just give me some ideas on how to show my husband I care and want to help him through this. He left today so angry and with an overnight bag so he's not coming home tonight I'm sure. I don't want to lose my husband but lately he's been a real mean and hurtful person, totally different from his normal self.
When should someone be finished grieving?
To quote dear Dr Phil: "time heals nothing; it's what you do in that time that's important". The grieving process is complex, and non-sequential; people can feel that they've moved on to a certain stage in the process, and suddenly regress. It is, fortunately, also possible to have some cathartic event which moves the process "forward" significantly.My much-loved sister lost her beloved husband to cancer, when they were in their late 20s. The four of us - we sisters and our husbands - had been a very happy foursome. We were all in the military, and shared the processes of dating, becoming engaged, planning weddings, participating in each other's weddings, and then the four of us would frequently vacation together. We were young and in love and all going great in our careers; life was carefree and fun.Then Mick got cancer, and was unfortunately unable to beat it.It was awful for all of us, but obviously most of all for my dear sister. It's been nearly 13 years now since he passed, and sometimes it seems that was in a different lifetime, and sometimes it seems only yesterday. I still think of him every day, and how his death has had a profound impact on all of us. Watching my sister navigating her abject grief has been awful because I feel so powerless to help. (I also deal with guilt that my husband survived - but that's my issue; I don't burden her with that.)The best that we can do is listen, accept that they have to grieve in their own way and their own time, encourage them to seek professional help, or suggest that they read a particular book, and be OK with them ignoring that advice if they so choose. :) Don't tell them that you know how they feel, that they "should" feel or do anything (there are no "should"s), or suggest that it's time that they moved on. All those things are profoundly unhelpful, and will only create distance. Just "companion" them on their journey through grief, accepting them for where they are, loving them, and asking them what they want. Do they want to speak of their loved one, or not? Some people find it comforting, and hate for their family member to be "ignored", whilst others prefer not to talk about them. It may change with time. Ask them, follow your heart, apologise when you think you got it wrong, and don't expect either the person in grief, or yourself, to be perfect.
Why is it so difficult for me to enjoy my Christmas for once?
You know, I've been trying, I really have. I try to enjoy myself during the holidays. I try to be happy for once. I try to push everything aside, make it go away, or something, but I just can't be happy. It's still too much too soon. Sometimes I think I'm acting like a big baby over it. Like why can't I just get over it and move on? It's going to be my third Christmas without my dad. And all he thinks is that I don't want to be with him anymore. To forget about him. I'm still angry at him. But I still love him. And he's not seeing it. I'm so tired of it all. I just want to cry. I holding it in right now because I'm at the library of my school. Every Christmas this happens. Everyone since me and my mom left. I can't. I just want it to be back to the way it was, but it will never happen. I was eating breakfast this morning at the dining hall and I just wanted to cry there too. Hearing the christmas music just made me depressed. I know that must sound so stupid, but it did. It's so happy...and I'm not. I should be happy. Me and my mom have an apartment. Our own home for the first time, but everything just seems all wrong. I guess I better stop before I actually make myself cry. I hope everyone here has a good Christmas. Everyone here is just so great.