What should you do when you realize that your family doesn't care for you and don't love you?
I came to this realization when I was older and reflecting on my younger years. My family provided financially but had nothing to give emotionally. There were deliberately abusive even in later years. When I confronted them, they were defensive, and I realized they didn’t care. They did care about the image to others though. Something was missing and wrong and always was. I grieved for the family I wish I had. I accepted that I had to play the cards that were dealt.What should you do? This is what I did. I started to make myself a top priority and loved me. I know that I touched other lives in a positive way through my work and was successful. Even though my family would try to diminish my accomplishments. I became grateful for the gifts that my family did give me (health, beauty, an education, a way to make a decent living, and even through the negatives I became stronger). I didn’t need to retaliate anymore as I saw them as sad people in a way, especially when some of them aged and became sickly. I was OK with me and who I was inside.I learned to cut people from my life immediately that didn’t show me respect and genuine concern through their actions, not words-which are hot air in many cases.Even though it may mean being alone at times; it’s OK. I have self-respect and peace. Both are wonderful and priceless.
My family doesn’t believe in mental illness or therapy and I’m suffering, I’ve tried talking to them multiple times about it but it falls of deaf ears. I’m constantly told I’m faking it. How do I get help?
You need to get professional mental health care, and you deserve it. This is the same as needing “physical” health care. You have a right to it. Look in the phone book and see if you can find a community mental health clinic, or any other organization that has “mental health” or “behavioral health” in it. (They mean the same thing.) Briefly tell them that you feel mentally unwell and that you’re suffering.When relatives insist that there is no such thing as mental illness, I’m sorry but I have to say, they may be just dodging their responsibility. Don’t be mad at them. Just quietly do what you are able to do. It’s important that you do this right away, because you need help before it gets too bad for you to take action. Your relatives cannot understand this if they haven’t ever experienced it.I could help you more if I knew your age and your circumstances. Please believe that what is wrong with you, can be treated and you can get better. If you have a girlfriend who is understanding and cares about you, talk with her until you can get to see a doctor. A psychiatrist or a psychologist can get you in touch with the right people.Please feel free to get back to me and let me know how it’s going.Sincerely,Holly Helmstetter
Is it wrong for me not to tell my family that I have a mental illness? I feel I won’t have much support from them if I do.
I don’t know how old you are and I don’t know what you see as a mental illness.I believe you know yourself and no one would say casually, “I have a mental illness.” We cannot really diagnose ourselves in a valid way. On the other hand, something is not right if you feel this way.First of all make an appointment with your MD to get a check up. Tell him/her about your feelings. The doctor can help guide you and give you a referral.Then make an appointment with a psychiatrist in your health care system.I would think you’ll have to tell your parents, if you are making medical appointments under their care, as it will be on their insurance bill and there will be a co-pay.If you are an adult or in college, you can do this on your own. If you are a dependent, you can tell your family you want a health check up. That is normal and should raise no eyebrows.It’s great you have an awareness of yourself. You do not have to go down this path alone. There are many resources available to you.First get yourself to a doctor. The rest will fall into place. If you need treatment, professionals will help you tell your parents.You are already taking the first step by posing this question on Quora. Good place to start. I admire your courage.You are fortunate in this day to have psychological help readily available. Mental illness is not different from other illnesses. There are neurological things happening in your body and brain. You do not need to be ashamed. You were born with this and there are psychotropic medications, there is talk therapy, there is the good advise to eat right, get plenty of sleep, exercise, do not isolate yourself and you will be able to talk to someone about your feelings.If you had a diagnosis like diabetes, you would have it seen to by professionals. The same goes for mental illness.I wish you the best.
How can I be happy when my family suffers from health/mental illnesses and doesn't know how to deal with life?
There’s no easy answer to your question. I’d like to share something with you and hope it helps you in some shape or form.Think about the words “Pay attention”. If I paid attention to a hopeless situation I would feel hopeless. And if I focus on that long enough it will cause problems within me. If I paid attention to ways to get out of the situation I’m in I would separate things individually an work on them one at a time. That way, I can pay so much attention to changing something that I always have the energy to push myself to do it. If you pay attention to too many things at once, the focus is weak and you can burn out quite quickly.If you can’t take care of yourself, then that is where I advise you start. You need to be able to take care of yourself if you’re going to survive through difficult times if you don’t face that sooner or later it will come back to bite you when times get tough (like they are for you right now).First, identify what you can’t change. Accept it for what it is. Look at what you can change. Choose what your going to focus on, and pay attention to it, lots of attention. This way you’ll start chipping away at it and eventually overcome that wall.This has to do with you thinking and focusing on something you can’t really change right now (in my opinion) and you want to be in a position to help. Why instead, don’t you focusing on getting yourself INTO that position. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.Wish I had advice for you financially but honestly I’m struggling there myself.Try meditation, 1 giant mind is a free app that helps you meditate. Could help you clear your mind before you look for solutions.Good luck man I wish you and your family the best.
I think I have depression and my family doesn't believe in mental illness. What should I do?
I’m sorry that you have been suffering. I also believe you have a tremendous amount of emotional strength as you are obviously committed to recovering despite not having any close family to support you in your emotional difficulties. That said, please know that a nearly 45% of individuals suffering from emotional or mental disturbances go it alone for a few reasons: 1) They just don’t know there’s treatment for how they feel, 2) The family is unable to financially provide treatment, and 3) Seeking treatment and discussing potential MH problems is a stigma.The first thing you must do is take care of yourself. Give to yourself what you would have expected from family;A healthy diet, basic activity and some social contact if possible.Maintain a journal or diary and express your thoughts, feelings and experiences.Reading about others who overcame depression is important. It’ll give you an inspiring and motivating roadmap.Attempt to seek treatment by any community Mental Health clinic. The US, UK and others have local free counseling and MH clinics that have low fees and excellent doctors. India and other Asian countries offers NGO’s. Psychiatrists charge an affordable amount and visits are usually bi-monthly or monthly. They’ll direct you to affordable counseling.If you are a student, please seek out help on campus or in the school.Most religious centers offer some support and guidance.Avoid alcohol as it is a depressant.Where all these are not applicable, please check the internet for “Online support groups for Depression.” It’s an online live group session of people experiencing depression who support one another. Do also find a “Hotline” number for suicide or mental health counseling.I wish you peace and good mental health.
Mental illness runs in the family? Is it genetic?
My father is somewhat mentally ill. I think he is mentally ill. He has many things going on that make him to me that he is mental. he is no longer living on earth but when he was alive, first of all, he does not have any friends. In fact, he has none , not even one. He doesn't want to have any friends I guess. he talks to himself a lot. He can talk couple of hours nonstop to himself sometimes and to me also. He looks down at his foot when he walks. He has no ambitions. He have no education also. Now, my problem is I have a sister that is worst. She is paranoid and believes invisible people exist and is out to harm her and kill her and take her money that she has if there is any left. When she has pain somewhere or a bruise somewhere, she blames someone that cause the injury. She does not believe she is mental. When she smells like even laundry detergent which somehow irritates her she would blame people deliberate releasing such chemical at her. I think she is mentally ill. Then, there is an aunt which i think also is somewhat odd in personality Anyway, is mental illness genetic? One more thing is my sister and aunt looked like genetic copies of my father in facial features also as well as height. This kind of suggest to me somehow it could be genetic in nature. The behaviour seems somewhat linked in the family genetics. I on the other hand looked more like my mother. Those in my family that looked like my father seem to be odd people. Just wondering what the hell is going on. Could mental illness be genetic? Thanks. I have not talked to anyone about this except here.
How do you deal with your family ignoring you?
Shut that door. If they don’t want to have anything to do with you—-why would you think one more moment about what their concerned with? Hey - my brothers want nothing to do with me? Hey that’s all well and good. They’re neurotic.Just because their our family - doesn’t mean they have a big portion of “act right”. Sometimes our families are more hurtful to us than strangers.Feel your feelings of loss and separation, everything because it not healthy to keep having people that diminish your worth hon. Those people are toxic. They operate on Fear Obligation and Guilt. All negative, controlling — and accusation that your the problem - that’s a lovely fear tactic that gets used. Then there’s what’s called either “Grease” or “Spinning”. Both of those tactic’s are when a man will change the subject over and over to confuse you. You know what he is doing but he’s really trying to make you unsettled — he might ask you if you are sick? It’s a diversion tactic. Predators do it. They are good at what they do- and it’s a craft, I know I was just memorized. Man they have no moral fiber - at ALL. So be careful of anyone that’s too friendly. Too eager to help you —I’ve taught myself how to drive with a map in four major cities. I was scared, I don’t have a problem admitting that- we all have fears - it’s only human that we need to feel our way through life. It’s called BEING PRESENT. It’s the most courageous thing you can do. And I cannot tell you everything you need to know. Lord knows that. but one thing be kind to people as you can, and courteous . Be a good person. Stand for something. It’s okay if people decide to leave your life - it’s their loss. People come and go— that is life. It’s really hard and painful sometimes and I hate it. I guess it’s the whole life experience with other humans that you cannot control. I really am sick of powerlessness. Sorry if my answer is odd, I’m in pain and in an peculiar mood. Hope something helped.
Am I dead weight to my family??
NO WAY!!! STOP TELLING YOURSELF THAT!!!! First off, your life doesn't have a price tag on it. There is no amount of money that will ever replace you. Tell your parents that having Bipolar and depression was not by your choice. Its something that you was just born with. I am too have been diagnosed with Bipolar and Maniac Depression. Try and help your parents around the house. Maybe do chores and show them that you do care and don't appreciate their help. If you have been put on medicine continue to take it. This will only help your chances of getting better and to keep you focused in life. I wish you much luck.