Estranged from parents?
I have heard of this many times, especially the older I get, the more hear it. It is sad to me, but I know how things can happen and how bad parents can be, have heard a lot throughout life. I say, that you have made the decision to not be in contact with family, as an adult, that is your decision, your right, and that you want anybody who knows you to respect it and not question it. Ask others who in casual conversation, who don't really know you nor the circumstances, "what does it mean if I tell you?or why do you want to know?" Let others know that is dredges up a lot of painful memories and hard times and you are and have moved on in your life! If anybody is a person who has any kind of a heart, they will respect what you say. If they don't, then to hell with them!!! That's the way it goes! You have to be strong and stay strong for in this world, you are always going to come across people who have something to say, or who judge you, but that's their problem, their issues, not yours!!! Be comfortable with who you are and the decisions you've made! Good luck! I am sure if you have a b.f.'s family who are supportive, and other family and/or friends, you're going to be fine. : )
Do you have any advice for a parent whose child is estranged from her abusive grandmother?
Your job as a parent is to keep your child safe. If your child is old enough to make this decision for themselves, support their decision. If your child is young and you have kept your child from the abuser, good for you. There is no problem with this “estrangement.”The real problem here is that others exert pressure to try to “fix��� the relationship. The grandmother may be recruiting her children, spouse or siblings to pressure you to “repair the relationship” because “every child needs their grandparents.” Or they pressure you by asking why you hate the grandmother so much to deprive her of her grandchild. If the grandmother has truly been abusive, tell these relatives shame on them for be willing to pressure you to put your child at risk again because they want the grandmother’s approval. Restate the abuse that occurred and that you will not allow the abuse to occur ever again. Then, tell these “well-meaning” family members that you will not entertain any more discussion on the matter.
Reunion with estranged father. Good idea or bad?
You should never have any regrets and life is too short to hold grudges. Go see your dad. If it doesnt turn out well at least you tried and you'll know you don't want to do it again. But if it is a good thing this can be a regular thing. He's your dad even if you talk once a month its better than nothing at all. Good luck!
How do you handle Mother's day if you're estranged?
My mother and I are estranged. We last spoke in January, which was the first time I'd seen her in 2 years. She's had financial difficulties, and I didn't want my sister to be stuck with the burden alone, so I've been paying half of her bills for several months through my sister. She is aware that I help support her, but has never acknowledged it in any way. My sister and I have agreed that our mother needs to pay her own way going forward. So now mother's day is coming up and someone made the comment to me that I'm obligated to send a card or to otherwise acknowledge that she is my mother. I don't wish her ill, but this woman is someone that I don't like or trust and I know that I'm better off being far away from her, where she can't hurt me mentally or emotionally anymore, as she always has. So... what's my obligation? It hurts to have no relationship, but I've lived like this so long that I'm used to having no parents (father was absent and died many years ago). Thanks