How do you handle a demanding girl?
She knows you're from a wealthy family and is hoping to get what she can from you. You mentioned a dowry, so I somehow doubt an engagement ring is part of your custom either, but she still wants it anyway.I'm not sure how this dowry system works, but if it's something you're expected to give and she said you don't have to, it's sounds like she's expecting things from you anyway.If it was her parents that were supposed to give a dowry, and you agreed they didn't, then she's trying to see how much she can get from you anyway. She sounds like a gold digger.Listen, all I know is warning bells are going off. It's one thing for a wife to make demands but you're not even married. What's she going to be like when you do get married? My suggestion, get a pre-nuptial agreement that will stipulate she gets nothing if you divorce in less than 2–5 years. If there are children, you will provide for them comfortably, not excessively, however, nothing means you can't keep the children. A lawyer knows more about this, but the intention is to protect you from someone taking your assets in a divorce after only a short marriage period. Under the circumstances, you should consider discussing this with your family and lawyer and protecting yourself. If she won't sign it, you'll know.You should be loved for yourself and not your money. There is nothing wrong for a woman to wish for a successful husband who can provide security, but you should also want a wife who will be by your side if you lose your wealth. It's a marriage in richness and poor, remember that.
How to handle difficult cousin?
My cousin and I are close in age (She is 21, I am 20) and we have been close our whole lives. We live an hour apart at home, go to school 45 minutes away from each other and up until this year, she would always visit, even when she was busy, she'd find time to visit (The bar age at my college is 19 and this enables us to party more easily...we are big partiers!). The past summer, she started dating this guy that lives near me, and I just do not like him. He is very wealthy, but that's about it. I've tried being nice to him but every time we hang out together with him, he just clings onto her and is not that friendly to me. I've given him a lot of chances to be nice to me, and he is not. He does everything for my cousin- I think the reasoning behind this is because he is not very attractive and she is extremely beautiful and good looking. And before anyone claims I am jealous, I have had a boyfriend for over two years who I love more than life itself, so it is not that. My boyfriend agrees- when my cousin used to come hang out, she would always be hilarious and fun, but when she is with her new boyfriend, she doesn't act the way she used to...she is buried in him. She has had other boyfriends that don't change her personality so it's not just any guy, it's this guy in particular. She has told me and parents she doesn't like him that much anymore and wants to break up with him, but then he will take her on a nice trip or buy her something expensive and she will go back to her ways. It's obvious she is using him, and I can't stand it because I can't stand him! I can't hang out with her without hanging out with him, and every time we make plans (I understand that sometimes my boyfriend doesn't need to come along as well, and try to make plans with just her) but she always blows me off. She is very confrontational and head strong, so I am not sure how to bring this up to her. No matter what I say, I know she will probably get mad at me, but I feel like I am losing a best friend and family member to vanity. I want to tell her somehow that she's changed since she started dating him and I don't like it. How do I go about doing this?
How do you handle a difficult boss?
I've had everything from really sexist bosses (one even said in numerous meetings that "women don't belong here" and was a blatant alcoholic)...to one that told me point blank that I would lose accounts when he found out I was pregnant telling me that he didn't know "where my mind would be." I even had a boss that was stealing from the company and wanted me to also! I'm in sales.... I win every time by doing the following: I put everything in writing. Document, document, document! When these fools become so powerful that they don't think anything can stop them, I write down the date and time and keep notes (hard copies and on computer). With that in my back pocket, I continue to work the hardest and be the best at my job. I am usually the top or one of the top sales people. My clients love me and rave about me. I take care of my co-workers too. I always befriend the accounting department and anyone who helps me with my sales orders!!! It makes it really hard to fire me. And keeping a record of things you could take to HR makes certain that you are protected if needed. Just be honest and work hard. You will be okay. The guy below me (Mr. PhD) is correct...the bad bosses usually self-destruct. I was at a job for 10 months and had 5 crappy bosses rotate through in that time! EDIT: A lot of people are saying "quit and find another job." That isn't always an option. I served in the Navy for 5 years and you just can't quit if you are stuck under a poor supervisor. Worse, on a ship you live with him or her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. For others, they may have a job paying the bills for the whole family and are afraid to lose that pay-check. The question was how to handle a difficult boss. Assume you have to and can't leave the job.
How do I gracefully handle a high dowry demand by a prospective groom (the reason for the high demand is that the boy is an IITian)?
You handle it by gracefully saying no and look for other prospective grooms.I was born and brought up in Agartala (North-East) where growing up, I really didn’t get to see or experience the dowry culture much. From what I understand, dowry was a common practice in our parents’ generation where even the supposedly ‘good’ guy’s family used to demand for dowry. By and large, the middle class at that time didn’t see it as an evil practice. But over the last few decades, society in general,has evolved culturally to the extent where you don’t have to worry about losing out on a ‘good’ guy because of your reticence to paying dowry. And for someone who has studied in an IIT, the supposed holy-grail of Indian education where you live and interact with the better minds of India for 4 years, asking for dowry shows unbelievable narrow-mindedness and you are better off keeping him at bay from your sister.
What would you do if your critical, judgmental, bossy, demanding family never bother with you until they want something?
From the sound of it, it seems advantageous to you that they never bother with you.Seems like a very poisonous situation. You should value that time apart from them a bit more.Try looking at them a bit more neutrally, would you accept the same abuse from other people? If you still react emotionally to them just for the sake that they are family, you’re in fact enabling their bad behavior. And if they want something, you should decide case by case if you think you should or should not engage with them.Surely, there are other people who merit your attention, and if there aren’t yet in your environment I strongly suggest you go and find like minded people to hang out with.If you can keep your distance and remain calm, you will see who from your family can still learn a few new tricks and who remains stuck in their ways…