How should you handle a situation where your mother in law tried to find her daughter a job near her, and did it without asking either of you if that would be ok?
The first thing to do is to determine how your wife feels about it and for you to let her know how it makes you feel, then agree together on what should or shouldn’t be done. It is one thing for the MIL to simply take note of a job opportunity she thinks her daughter would like and then let her know about it and it is another to go on an active job hunt behind her back, no matter how well-intended it might have been. You need to determine between yourselves which of these was the case. I would leave it to my spouse to talk to her mother and tell her if her unsought for “help” was unwelcome and that she needed to respect both your wife’s boundaries and your boundaries as a couple. The MIL’s actions weren’t sabotage or under-mining perhaps, but on the other hand, they could indicate a manipulative act and be a harbinger of things to come. See this as an opportunity to assert your boundaries together and hold to them, so that she will not be able to cross the next boundary and do far worse.
How would you handle a situation where your single mother blatantly flirts with your husband every time you visit her? Why would she do this?
Is it that hard to understand.She likes your choice and sees a way to have some fuss and compliments.I’ve had it and thought nothing of it.I got told so I toned down the replies which were automatic from me.Tell your man, let him slowly block the flirt and it will be over. I just made sure my girl had a big squeeze in front of the mother in law to show that there was no contest..Understand, mum wants to feel nice and can flirt with a safe man.All this presumes that your mum is normal and not spiteful.
How do I handle the situation where I was told that my mother was raped and that I was born as a result, and I need to know my father?
If you are an adult, and if your mother (or whoever has knowledge) is willing to discuss the rape, elicit whatever information she can provide (who, what, when, where, etc.). If in the US, submit a Freedom of Information Act Request to the appropriate police department to obtain as much identifying information as possible about the rapist. Then review all available social networking sites, use public search websites to determine if there is information on that individual, or contact a private investigator.There are also DNA comparison companies that can identify relatives who have records within their system, possibly leading to other offspring or relatives of the rapist.However, don’t expect a warm welcome from anyone identified.
How do I handle this situation with my mother?
She seriously claims to be religious because a 6 year old asked her to go to church? Hm.Well, first, you're not responsible for what happened when you were 6. This becomes a little more difficult when addiction is involved, because addicts often transfer responsibilities to their children, and children of that age are not really capable of handling them. I'd worry that your boundaries might not be as well-defined or functional as you think they are; children of addicts often have problems with interpersonal boundaries well into adult life, because they don't learn the correct distinctions between what is and is not their responsibility. I'd suggest that you look into Adult Children of Addicts/Alcoholics or other co-dependency support systems, or talk with a psychologist about it. If your mother is not in a program to deal with her addictions, it could partly explain her extremism: she may have transferred her addictive tendencies from whatever substance she was previously abusing to her new religion. That is likely a positive step. If you want, you could suggest she go to a Narcotics Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous group. Even if she's not currently using, having other recovering people around may help stabilize her emotions and relieve some of the pressure from you. It's not your responsibility to suggest that, mind you, or to go with her or support her in any way in this process. She will find support at the groups if she goes, and it is her responsibility (and hers alone) to keep at it. But the suggestion may be an opening for a different kind of conversation between the two of you.
How Would You Handle This Situation?
A child in your classroom has been bitten. The mother of the child is furious and demands to know who bit her child and even goes as far as to threaten legal action if the identity of the child who bit her child isn't disclosed immediately. How would you handle this parent?
Mother-in-law is a mooch! How would you handle this situation?
I would talk to your husband and explain to him that giving her handouts really isn't helping her, it's enabling her. Your husband and his brothers need to sit down with Mom and explain to her that she needs to go and see a counselor about her inability to be financially responsible. The guys should explain to her that what she is doing is placing an unfair burden on them and their families. Every time that they have to pay her bills or bail her out that is money taken away from their children. When she throws in their faces that "Family helps family" they should tell her that is true and it works two ways. They are "helping" her out by teaching her to become financially responsible for herself and she is helping them out by not being a burden to them and taking away needed funds from her grandchildren. I personally wouldn't let the house go because of back taxes. I would pay the taxes and charge her "rent" until she paid me back. If she refuses to do that the next time the taxes are late I would make her put my name on the title before I paid them again. At least with your name on the title you could one day recoup your money.
I am not sure how to handle this situation...?
My parents have been married for over 30 years. They are living with me because of limited income. The money they have pretty much goes toward food and their alcohol consumption. My father is verbally and emotionally abusive to my mom. She cries and by looking at her physical state, it’s obvious he drains the life out of her and she admits it. The problem is, she does not want to leave him. I’ve given her multiple options, even paying a full trip for her to visit her sister in another county, but she don’t want to go!!! She just refuses to leave my father. I’ve offered to give them money and my house and I plan on moving to another state, my mom Bursts into tears saying how can I leave her. I love my mother and she’s more than good to me and my sister but this is so unfair. It’s like she’s dragging me through their abuse. I feel sooo bad for her and my heart is breaking but what can I do here when she won’t leave him alone and how can she be soooo selfish to even want me to be around this mess. I feel so bad for her cus she’s a great mother but I don’t know what to do.
My step mother made a pass at me, how do I handle this situation?
Are you an adult or a child? If you are a child, you need to let the police know as soon as possible. This is a very serious problem. Do you have any other relatives that you feel comfortable with talking to and staying with? You need to tell them about the situation now. Things are going to get ugly,but your safety is the most important thing. If you are an adult and do not live with your father, I would limit contact with your father and step mother now. I would explain to your father that your close contact with his family looks like it would interfere with the health of his marriage and you love him and respect him enough not to let that happen. This avoids any manipulation of the facts and protects you. Keep a journal of all the dates and times when your stepmother makes passes at you and what she said. It will come in handy later.
How should my daughter handle this situation?
My daughter is a freshman in highschool. We are Protestant. There is a girl who sits next to my daughter in one of her classes. This girl is a Jehovah's Witness. This girl cries and tells my daughter she does not want to be a Jehovah's Witness. She waqnts to join our church. Te girl knows her parents would disown her if she told them her feelings. The girl asked what Christmas and holidays are like. My daughter told me her friend wants my husband and me to adopt her? How should this situation be handled?
My mother is a bully, how can I appropriately handle the situation before I leave home?
I doubt arguing with her will do anything to change her mind. It may be of some comfort, albeit cold, to know that your mother is not alone in this attitude. It is not the dog's fault; dogs do what dogs do and it is up to the owner to modify their behaviour and emotional responses so that they can live appropriately with humans.Is there any other adult in your life that you could confide in and ask to advocate on your behalf with your mother? If the very subject itself is not so poisoned that any mention by you about the dog raises your mother's defensiveness, you could point out that dogs that bite people who live within the household are at high risk for biting people who do not live in the household. This could lead to unpleasant consequences ranging from just getting a reputation as someone who keeps a dog that bites to a civil lawsuit (especially in the US) to confiscation of the dog by authorities for euthanasia (I don't know if this is a huge risk outside the US). If you are calm and present this in a factual manner you may be able to get through to your mother.Otherwise, I'm afraid that the only action available to you is to avoid the presence of the dog as much as possible. Leave the room when the dog enters the room or leave the house until the dog has been safely confined away from you.Make sure that there is nothing else you do that your mother can complain about. If you are in school, study hard and get good grades. Avoid doing things that unnecessarily upset your mother. If you are otherwise the paragon of virtue, it will be more difficult for your mother to feel justified in blaming you.Good luck.