Why do I lack self-confidence?
Dear friend, the real question is not “why you are not confident” but “why do one need confidence”. Let me explain it by taking an excerpt from Acharya Prashant's blog “Words into silence”.Let me ask you a question. Do you require confidence when you have to speak in a room all alone? No. But you require confidence when you have speak in a hall filled with audience. Right?What is the essential difference between both the situations? The process of speaking is happening in a vacant room and also in the room filled with the audience. But in second situation, ‘others’ are present. You are afraid of these ‘others’. And you require confidence only to deal with the ‘others’. So it is better to ask, how to get rid of this fear? Then you have to understand deeply that why are we afraid. I have always known myself through others. If others applaud for me, then I consider myself to be brilliant. If others criticize me, then I consider myself to be bad. I have no understanding of myself, whatever others have told me about myself, I have accepted it. This is Ego.It is this Ego that gives rise to fear because I have always known myself through others. That is why I am always afraid of speaking in front of others. That is why I am always afraid of others’ opinions. That is why I am always afraid of others’ impression about me.At the root of confidence lies the fear of others, fear of external factors. And all this because you do not know yourself. You know yourself only as an image in the eyes of others.Do not try to ‘look’ confident. The more you ask for confidence, the more it indicates that you are afraid.Do not ask for confidence. Remain simple! Do not try to become something. Just remain as you are. Simple, ordinary! Do not try to become something, then everything will be alright.You will feel light. You will get rid of a lot of burden.To meet Acharya Prashant Ji,Call/Whatsapp: +91-8859069127
Could my lack of confidence make me dumb?
No, lack of confidence cannot lower your IQ. Low self-esteem causes lack of confidence and it affects every area of your life. Believing you are inadequate, unlovable, incompetent and unworthy can keep you from reaching your full potential. It often comes from one's interpretation of the dysfunctional behavior of the people in the child's early environment. The child is often the brunt of anger, abandonment, abuse, neglect, or continul negative criticism and scorn. symptoms that need to be treated and relieved are: feelings of guilt feelings of inferiority feelings of unworthiness frequent hesitation easily exploited always asking others for their opinion, never trusting self lack of confidence passive nature undervaluing yourself people with low self esteem are often confused about and unable to discern who and when to trust; they often trust the person who is simply nice to them or shows them some attention, opening the door to manipulaiton; while we don't trust those who are trustworthy. We create an inner dialogue of distorted self-statements. Once we develop an image of ourselves as inadequate (or not good enough) we treat ourselves and expect to be treated accordingly. We are overly critical of ourselves and we reject compliments. For more information on lack of self confidence follow the selfesteeminstitute link below.
Complete lack of self confidence?
I am only 17 but really struggle with self confidence, and everyone around me seems to think I am very self-assured and nothing really bothers me. This will be because I don't like to talk about myself or my problems as i see having problems as a weakness. A main problem I think is a lack of confidence in my body... I have a daily struggle looking at my body and going out as I feel very low. I am a size 12 but all my friends are a lot smaller. I don't wish to be sounding like a huge moaner but, though it's very shallow, it makes me feel very consious. This lack of confidence really transpires into other things... I often don't go out to parties because the stress of finding something to wear and feeling nice is unbearable, I have stopped putting myself forward for things within college as I don't like to stand in front of people(though I LOVE public speaking), I have no confidence with boys(which isn't a major problem). I would just like to be able to go a day without thinking about image or putting myself down. Does anyone have any tips to gain confidence?
My lack of self-confidence is destroying me, help?
I discovered you must have a growth mindset focus on the opportunity. Understand that you WILL sometimes fail but your failures DO NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. Do not assume you are defective if something goes wrong (I got an ‘D’ on my calculus exam means I need to try a different approach; it does not mean I am a stupid person). It's important to have a growth mindset that focuses on challenges. Seeing that opportunities give you the chance to try something new – even if it means you might not perform well. You absolutely will slow but surely improve if you don’t take failure to heart. I actually wrote a full article on my blog http://www.iusedtobethatguy.com/the-massive-hurdle-that-is-fear-of-failure , please feel free to check it out my other inspirational articles.
I'm a thin guy and lack confidence with myself and with girls
I am 19 years, 5'8", and just 120 lbs right now. I go to the gym multiple times a week and eat a lot but my metabolism is crazy. I believe that looks are nearly as important for girls as they are for guys, and therefore my body would not be viewed as attractive. Now you might say there's "some" girls out there who like skinny guys, and even though I've never had a gf, I am very picky about looks, so why wouldn't a girl be picky about looks. I am very smart, a world traveler, etc. but my perception of my body constantly kills my confidence, and I especially have a difficult time talking and being myself to girls I find attractive. I am moving to start university soon and I must change my mindset soon. Any help or advice from those with similar experience is GREATLY appreciated! Thanks in advance.