Can you relate to feeling like the holidays, Christmas in particular, are meant for everyone but you? And do you know a sense of being on the outside looking in on everyone else's joy?
It has a vibe of “getting the family togather to celebrate family”.I understand my own feelings as not wanting to take part in it, because, me and family, we have a history. Not feeling like i belonged, started waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in my childhood. Disclaimer: I know for a fact that my family did the best they could to help me get to where i am today, and for that i AM thankful. The problem is the way that this was all done. I always felt like i wasn’t heard, like my emotional needs were “bullshit”. My family has a past of “not knowing how to deal with emotions and shutting themselves to them”, so, it’s only natural they would “pass on this knowledge to their offsprings”. But from my generation on, people started to open their eyes and to understand emotions. So the concept of family, for me, is something different. Family means unconditional love and support, which i missed a lot in the early stages of my life. I always felt more welcome with my friends, than i did with my family. Family for me is “judging without propperly knowing”, is “high expectations”, is “lack of empathy” and all that. So it’s only natural i don’t enjoy being around them much. I learned independency (at least emotionally) very early. So with all that background the only possible outcome is that i don’t like to be around my family, because they always pass me the idea that i am the black sheep. The “crazy” one. The emotionally unbalanced one (i’d say the passionate one).So, why in heavens would i like a holiday like christmas? if i have my very private definition of family? That’s right, i don’t.I get the feeling that the author of this question is going to relate to this story, and if you do, please comment! :)Sorry for the long answer.
How can I stop being overly opinionated?
I'm very picky when it comes to music & movie taste, religion, etc... Sometimes I wish I didn't think about things so much. It affects freindships and some people find me smart when it comes to those areas and often envy me. How can overcome this? I feel as if I have high expectations when it comes to friends who do not share the same tastes as myself and it bores me. How can I lower my expectations?
What is the best thing about someone born under the cancer sign?
Positive Traits: kind, loving, emotional, intuitive, imaginative, shrewd, cautious, protective and sympathetic. Negative Traits: changeable, moody, over-emotional, touchy, untidy, clinging, unable to "let go," and a tendency to wallow in self-pity. Likes: hobbies, romance, children, parties, home and country. Dislikes: failure, opposition, aggravating situations, being told what to do and being given advice...whether good or bad. Natives of Cancer are probably most in tune with those governed by Pisces, since Pisces is prone to moods just like Cancer, but of a less volatile nature. This is a couple who will find peace and harmony throughout the majority of their relationship. Scorpio, another Sign ruled by the element of Water, would also be favorable since Scorpio is equal to the moods of Cancer and capable of great understanding. Cancer finds the Scorpio depth of character intriguing and will certainly appreciate the rich view of life inherent in the Scorpio nature, to say nothing of the awareness and perception associated with that Sign. This is a couple who will likely provide everything either has ever wanted in a relationship. The physical chemistry here is quite amazing...it is long-lasting and only gets better with the passage of time.
What is the purpose of public education in America?
The structure of our public education system (K through High School) has not changed much since my grandparents' time, yet the world is very different. I'd like to hear from educators and others on what the goal(s) of public ed should be. Is it to instill values common to good citizenship? Is it to provide everyone with a minimum common knowledge level? Is it to provide everyone with the capability to earn a living and be economically productive? It seems to me that unless we first decide what the purpose of education should be, other questions about curriculum and the role of teachers and parents in their children's education will be left as directionless issue-based fodder.
Can anyone give any suggestions about teaching and autistic child?
I understand that autistic children are not alike, but does anyone have any pointers they would like to share? I've been telling my son's school that he needs one on one teaching and they blow me off. I can't seem to find a way that really connects with him and I'm running out of ideas. The school is of no help. They're too cheap to really care. I don't want my son to slip through the cracks. Thanks to anyone who replies.
Why do I revert to an immature and pouty teenager when I come home for Christmas? Do I: -revert to the teenage self who used to live here? - need to make up sleep? -miss the life I've built out East? -not know how to relate to my family as an adult?
Being "home" with our families as adults may constrict us back into prior iterations of ourselves for a number of reasons. Some of them are caused by our own outlook and "muscle memory." I'm convinced that being back in our old rooms (especially if your parents have entombed your old room into some weird static Museum of Your High School Reality) shoots us back in time and space with a weird blast of nostalgia and maybe even discomfort. It's a very persuasive jolt back into the past.After being sovereign, we're essentially returning to the monarchy. Our conquests or adult experiences in the outside world are unwitnessed and unknown to these people, who will always know more and better, and they'll elaborate on that—JUST ASK!Then there's who your parents remember you as. They sometimes don't ever shift gears with you. They've created all these paradigms for you: "Oh, you're the artistic one, incapable of logic!" (That was my dad, and it still is, a million years later.) Maybe you were the complainer, or the lazy one, or the "type A" one, or the "smart" or "pretty" one. But some parents really have a fixed script for who you are that is a jacket which—if it ever fit at all—is far too tight and out of style for you to ever want to wear it again. But that expectation wants to reduce you—not just to what you were, but to their perception of what you were. It's a power dynamic, too. As parents, they "created" (and shaped, and formed) you, and it's muscle memory for them, too, to cast you exactly in the version of you they remember.It's weird as hell, I know. Keep talking about it, and remember that it's kind of universal for a lot of us. In some cases, with time, this dynamic changes a bit. In others, it may never change, even when you're 40 (but at 40, you'll hopefully have the means to stay in a hotel!).