Is it okay to talk to my boyfriend's mother about problems I'm having with her son?
To make a long story short, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 3 years. He is ignoring me when I call the past 2 days (he ALWAYS picks up). We have both been stressed with finals for graduating from college, and his landscaping business has been extremely busy, etc. But I deserve a 10 minute phone call. Is it appropriate for me to confide in his mom / ask her for advice? I want to see if she can talk to him, see what his problem is. I think he's just stressed or something, because he was acting fine a few days ago. Typically there are red flags going up when someone is going to dump you, and things have been fine lately. I do NOT believe he's cheating on me because frankly he doesnt have the time. He is extremely busy with his business. Anyway, I feel pretty comfortable with his mother after knowing her almost 4 years..Is this OK to talk to her a bit? I wouldn't get too personal about us. I feel she could get him to talk..He didn't really have a relationship before me, so I've cut him some slack. But I'm worried. Any advice greatly appreciated.
How to talk to a teacher about a problem?
Talking to your teacher is definitely a good idea, as a student who had a similar problem recently, it's totally fine. I was stressing about exams and stuff but thankfully I have a really nice english teacher who i spoke to, i didn't even have to ask her, she just knew and asked if i wanted to talk and it all came blurting out. teachers have what's known as a 'duty of care' to their students, and most take this really seriously, if it bothers you, then they want to know. very little of the stuff i told my english teacher was school related, mostly about my parents, who sound very much like yours! my teacher was amazing, she listened for half an hour while she was supposed to be teaching, and said i could find her at any time, she volunteered to set up counseling for me and revealed that she'd been worried about me for a while. it's just really nice to know that there's someone at school looking out for me. it won't put extra stress on your teacher, she'll be relieved to know what's going on so he/she can help you. If you ask your teacher not to tell anyone - they won't, unless they feel that you or someone else is in danger. I didn't feel comfortable expressing me feelings either (i work very hard to maintain a happy, confident image), but if you just start with something like 'can i talk to you about something personal', they'll know where you're going and believe me, it'll all come out and make sure you don't leave anything out. Teachers are amazing people who really do care and want to know, oh, and do feel like your being a burden if, on a later occasion, you want to go back and speak to him/her again, i promise you they won't mind. but yeah, basically, talk to your teacher, it'll really help Hope that helps
Is it ok to talk with your mother-in-law if you have a problem with your husband?
Never.Consider this - what will you tell to her?“Hi, you have raised your son so poorly that I can’t deal with him, so here, you deal with him”.Do you expect any kind of a positive reaction to it? Do you expect that you will be praised as an adult and a spouse?Do you expect that you will be thought of as “She’s so right and he’s so wrong”?You are effectively telling a parent that they have a bad child.You have chosen that child (now adult) as your spouse - now it’s your turn to fix issues, “I am telling your mom!”, that’s simply kindergarten-style fight which makes at least you not very suitable to be in a relationship with another person.If this person you have married is so bad - then why are you still married to him?If he’s not as bad as you say he is, but the communication broke down (it happens sometimes) - well, there’s you and there’s him, so go and make it work, if you want this relationship to work.No one will fight your battles. And just to be clear, the default response from any MIL would be something along the lines of, “Son, I told you so” - which will make it a very inconvenient and very tough situation for you personally. I doubt you want your MIL getting involved.When two people decide to get married, they form their own family unit.You can come up to your front door, open it, and see where the threshold is - this is where all those quarrels stop. They do not exit your home.If you can’t keep those quarrels inside the house, then you either solve them or you leave the house - you do not get to bring others to look at your mistakes and point out how wrong your spouse is.If both people are fighting at the same time it means that none of them is mature enough to stop the fight, which means that both of you are wrong - you don’t give enough details on how to fix it, and without it, why stop at MIL? There are many talk shows on national TV where you can go and air your problems - you might as well earn some money for it.
Telling my mom about my problem down there?
My labia protrudes a lot, and although I realize it is normal, I get constant chafing and it's beginning to get on my last nerve. I've figured out how to ignore it since I was 11 years old, and suddenly it's gotten bigger (puberty/hormonal changes?) and I am constantly sore from the chafing. I did not consider labiaplasty at first because I felt that it was very drastic, but I have done so much researching on how to reduce chafing and nothing works. I'm 17 and I feel like I need to talk to my mom about this, but it's such a personal issue and I would feel very awkward, plus she is very conservative. How do I start this conversation? What do I say? And please no advice about going to a gyno or anything. Please don't shame me for considering labiaplasty either for I am in a lot of discomfort and again it's not definite. I purely need advice regarding talking to my mom about this so that she can help me decide on what I have to do. Thanks! xoxo
Is it right for my mom to constantly talk about money problems in front of her daughters?
My parents are in the middle of a divorce. I live with my mom and my sister. I know that my family and I are not in the best financial situation. Things are tough. My mom is CONSTANTLY talking about which bill she has to pay, how much, and how she doesn't know how to pay next month's rent. It's been like this for the past 2 years. She is always talking about it in front of me and my sister and it's really affecting me. I'm becoming more angry and developing a short-temper. I was never this way. I'm becoming sick and tired of my mom talking about this in front of me. She will say the same thing about paying the bills 3 times within 10 minutes. I've asked her plenty of times to stop and that it bothers me. She responds, "WELL WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO?" I told her that I don't think it's right for a mother to talk about this stuff in front of her kids. I caught her off guard a bit and she responded with "UGH. You know what? Stop talking about what you're going to do with the rest of your life. Because I don't want to hear it!" (The reason I talk to her about what I want to do after I graduate college is because I'm too worried about my financial situation after seeing and hearing my mom do these things). I'm thinking she said that to turn the table onto me, you know? I think she knows I'm right but doesn't want to admit it. I'm so angry and I have so much adrenaline inside of me right now that if I could, I would run as fast as I could in the park until my legs give way. Granted, I'm not a mother. So I don't know all of the things mothers are supposed to do. But I feel like complaining and getting upset and stressed about your financial situation in front of your kids is not right. I can't stand to see my mom this way. I don't know what to do because talking to her is not working at all. Thanks for reading my rant. It feels good to get it out of my system.
Why do I have trouble talking to my mother?
I know you know this but your mom was once a 15-year-old girl too. Seriously. I was always more introverted so I can sympathize with you there and my mom was one of the “popular” girls in high school - not the kind people gossip about but she knew everyone, had no serious boyfriends and no one ever told their daughter that they could not associate with her - popular. She was smart but never let others know how smart. She kept her grades at passing but not at the A level because that was too smart in her mind.I was always overweight, too smart, only close girlfriends and something of a tomboy so I was her worst nightmare. I tell you this because as a teenager you have a narrowed view of everything because of your hormones and becoming a woman. So, you don’t come home every day with some universal female problem that she can help you overcome; do you tell her about things in general?A woman who has a child suffers from fear of failure every time you get sick, fall down, have your heart broken, your feelings hurt, someone makes you angry, etc. Either your friends are just more open than you are or they are fostering a relationship with their mothers you and your mother do not have. It’s okay; everyone is not the same. Does your mom wear make-up? Do you? Find a general topic and ask her about it. My mom got totally embarrassed when I was a pre-teen and over the summer my bra size went wild. She was comfortable in her B-cup and tried to keep me in the same size until my dad told her I needed something bigger because I looked stuffed into my bra. I went from a B-cup to a D-cup and then a DD-cup before I left high school and she just could not understand why. If she had thought about it, I was very like my grandmother who was amply endowed as were her sisters and aunts but my mother did not want me to contend with that “burden” but there was no way to take it away so she acquired new worries - back pain, looking too old for my age, fear that some man might try to take advantage of me, etc.Engage your mom in helping you find the right dress fr some function, how to do your hair, make-up or shoes. You are no longer a needy child but your mom is still needing to be needed. Help her out…
Why am I so scared to talk to my parents about my problems?
Maybe you’re hardwired to learn by experience and you were raised by parents who are hardwired to learn by example. Naturally, this will cause conflict between you and your parents, and their exasperation will frustrate you. Your natural means of learning means you absolutely needfirst hand experience of something to learn whether or not it’s worthwhile. (Like King Solomon in The Old Testament of The Bible.) Meanwhile one or both of your parents are hardwired to see the actions of others and learn the worth of certain actions vicariously. Which makes absolutely no sense to you.At some level, you will realize what they say is correct, and that your problem is “solvable” by your parents knowledge. This would undermine your notions of uniqueness and place your problems into the realm of “that which is common to humanity”, and you would be embarrassed to have missed the solution that your parents already know about, but you were scared to ask.Maybe you know what they’ll say is exactly what you don’t want to hear, eventhough you know it’s correct.Perhaps even worse, what you know they’re going to say is the correct course of action, but is wholly rejected by your chosen peers; and you would much rather be identified with your peers and their values than with your parents and their values. Especially is your peers don’t hold the conflict your having with your parents to be problematic. According to your peers, your parents are the problem.Maybe, just maybe, you’re afraid to hear that your parents have made the exact same mistakes, and have failed to overcome them, or even worse that they’ve succeeded and you’re not certain you have to strength or even the desire to do so.
My mom has always downplayed all my problems?
I am not sure how old you are, and if this is possible (if your living at home it is not really 100% workable)..but try and NOT communicate your problems to your Mom, join a support group, or find a really trusting friend to confide in. It seems as though your Mom is bringing you down when you need her the most, and that's not healthy! Tell her that you are very proud of her for being a single Mom, and that you know she sacrificed to give you what you needed, but gently remind her that YOU did not ask to be brought into this world, and it was by her own choices and consequences that she became a single Mom. There are many, many worse things than being a single Mom, and why a Mother would constantly guilt trip their own kid is beyond me! Good luck to you..and remember..that ALL problems that you have are real and valid, even if it is being unable to find a parking space when you are running late!
Is it OK if my wife talks to her mother after our fight?
I'm going to assume she's discussing you and the fight with her mother during these calls.Well, you can't exactly stop her, but I don't think it's good for your marriage. She is giving her own biased view of the argument then, which can put a strain on your own relationship with your mother in law. It seems a little immature to handle things that way, since she's essentially talking to someone else rather fixing the problem at hand with you. I also think that it's unfair, because you have the right to some form of privacy in your marriage. Some things should stay between the two of you. I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing I didn't have that privacy. I'd always have to watch what I say and do, which would make me feel uncomfortable in my marriage.You should talk to her about this. I don't think it's doing your marriage any good. Don't argue about it, though, just have a calm conversation about it and how it makes you feel.