My mom thinks she knows everything!?
Ok. So I have a 4 year old Paint Mare who has a pretty calm temperments but is still young and develops bad habits very easily. My mom thinks she knows everything about her (The horses name is Abbi) and horse things involved but really she just makes her self look stupid (no offence). She rides Abbi with no posture or anything and not only am I concerned about my mom, I am concerned about Abbi which I have worked my butt of to get her to where she is. SHE IS JUST UNWINDING IT ALL! Abbi rears and stuff so it is not safe for people to be riding her without experiance. I know how to train her and handle her bad behavior otherwise I wouldnt own her! I have tried talking to my mom but she just yells at me! She wont take lessons because she doesnt like my instructor (who knows why) or wont take them anywhere else. Please help! I just dont really want my mom to ruin Abbi. * Oh yea... an example: Yesterday we rode Abbi bareback to get her used to it (well aware that she rears) but we just wanted to try soemthing differant. She did great because we did not ask to much of her but we are going to take it slow and only do it once in a while. When we told my mom about the exiting news... she yelled at us! She said " you shouldnt be riding her bareback. She needs to learn how to ride in a saddle and that is unsafe." Ok- first of all that was one of the only times we have ever asked her to ride bareback and we asked very little of her. Second, What does my mom know about being safe. Just because my mom cant handle it that doesnt mean I cant! Please dont think I sound snotty, I am just concerned!
How can I stop my mom from hitting me?
I want to tell you to tell someone. A friend. Someone at your school. You don’t want your mom to go to jail, but why not? She shouldn’t be free to hurt you or anyone else. It’s her choices that will put her there.Love of family is a funny construct. I don’t love my mother, but society and programming make me think I do. Why should I? She abused me in many, many ways for 30+ years. And would continue to if I hadn’t cut ties. The scars she left will never heal fully.My mother never loved me. She saw me as a means to an end and a scapegoat for everything that went wrong in her life. I think she resents me because I didn’t work in the way she wanted to keep my dad in the house to support her. (I have a great relationship with my dad in spite of my mother’s attempts to destroy it. )You need to get out of there. Please. Get help for yourself.*This was my original beginning, but I wanted to put what I wrote at the end up above. I leave it here because why not.I can only speak for my own experience.I think I was around 16 or 17.I passively defended myself.My mother abused me physically and mentally for many years. She took joy in it.She also knew martial arts. I did too, but she had been training for a lot longer.We were about the same height.She grabbed me and I reacted breaking her grasp and stepping back into a ready-to-fight stance.She froze and my step-father made some comment.I turned and walked to my room. Closed and barricaded the door.That ended the physical violence.The mental violence lasted until I cut off ties.Here’s the thing though. If you do plan to do this you have to be ready for a couple things.Do NOT back down. You don’t want your mom to go to jail, but are you ready to physically defend yourself? Mentally prepare yourself for that. Plan how you are going to incapacitate her efficiently.Be prepared for police intervention. My mom used to threaten to call the police on me a lot. I remember a couple talking-tos I got, and the deaf ears of the police. Followed by more abuse.Where can you go? You are underage and if she goes to jail, who will you live with? I say this not to frighten you but to make sure you have a plan. I had a friend who I could crash with no matter the reason. The parent’s were fine with that, and I am trying to create the same safe space for my kids friends.Be ready for the other forms of abuse. She may not hit you, but she probably will (and probably is already) abuse you in other ways.
Is incest wrong between mother and son?
what if we didnt have sex but just experimented with each other?, the reason im asking this question is because i hav felt this way for five years, and i have now got the feeling she feels the same.
Am i a bad mother for not co-sleeping?
No way does not co-sleeping make you a bad mom. Where they sleep is dependent on what is most comfortable for you and safest for the baby. I just had my son in Janurary and for the first two weeks we slept together on the couch because I couldn't lay down comfortably and he wasnt comfortable in his bassinet but by week two it was getting uncomfortable for me and I had fears of suffocating him in my sleep and so we got him to sleep by letting him sleep in his carseat. After a week of that he actually started sleeping in his crib because that was where he fell asleep the best. And now he is actually sleeping through the night. Co-sleeping with me and my husband was not a good idea for our son because my husband tosses and turns so much in his sleep he would have suffocated or crushed our son. I included a link to the a an article from parenting magazine on the co-sleeping debate to give you more info. But overall not co-sleeping does not make you a bad mom. Its just a matter of personal choice.
My mom is bringing strange men she meets online into her home & children are present..it gets worse-?
Your mom is putting her kids at risk of sexual or physical abuse AGAIN through her actions. And she's certainly putting you all through emotional abuse--you know it, or you wouldn't be writing here. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a lot of options for you guys, based on what you've written here. If you have responsible grandparents, or other responsible relatives, I think you should ask if the lot of you can go live with them--especially the 5-year-old. I don't think there's anything that CPS is going to do, just based on your mom boffing strangers in her home. But I think it's a mistake for you to rule out calling them if there's a legitimate danger to yourself, or the other kids. Yes, she's your mother, and she may be all you've got. But you wouldn't keep a pet rattlesnake, just because it's your only pet option, and you shouldn't use that justification for keeping helpless kids in their destructive mother's home, either.
How do I tell my mom that I want to leave the house at the age of 16 because I don't feel safe with her?
So very upsetting and sad about your situation.I ask you if you have more siblings, or family nearby, or if your father doesn't live with you?I don't know how bad your situation with your mother is, because you say you don't feel safe. A Family Judge may also order that you be removed from your home if your mother is found guilty of illegal acts that endanger the life of a minor. Precisely because you are a minor, your mother may be involved in a very serious legal situation.For this reason, the most correct thing is to talk to your teacher, and psychologist at your school, I imagine you study. I suggest if you have your father, and you feel safe with him, talk to him that you want to go live with him, you must tell him what is going on, about your mom.Therefore, your father can ask a family judge to give him full custody to protect you, also a restraining order so that your mother doesn't try to call you or look for you. If you don't have a father, I think you have some family members who you can call for help, also they can ask to have the full custody to protect you.Obviously, your mother will be summoned by a family judge, where the judge will order the removal of your mother's custody for endangering the life of a child. You have to act immediately, I don't think it's convenient to talk to your mother, for the simple reason that she knows perfectly well what she's doing, and that her actions are putting you in danger, unfortunately it's the only safe solution that I see for you, act wisely to protect yourself.Furthermore, when you reach eighteen years of age you will become independent, do not leave your studies because are your future, and you will go to a good college and be able to stay there in campus during your time of studies, there are grants, student loans, and the universities have funds to assist the students in addition to scholarships and loans. Use your mother's bad example as a mirror, so that when you become a professional and you have in near future your own sweet home, you will be the greatest parent in the world, away from the sadness and hurt of what is happening to you now.Finally, there is an expression that says: "God gives bread to those who don't have teeth" which means, how many couples are sterile, can't have children, and worship those who adopt, but your mother instead of being happy for that great gift of life, doesn't value the meaning of "having a child" means. Very sad. Good luck!
How do I tell my mom that im a lesbian?
Coming out is a long process, one that’s never quite over. The most important thing is to make sure you’ll be safe if you do. This doesn’t just apply to family, but also to friends, coworkers, and many other areas of life.How do I do that?Where is your mom, politically speaking? Generally, liberals will be more accepting than conservatives but of course you can be shocked either way.Ease into the topic. If you know anyone else who’s LGBT+, maybe say “Oh, my friend Stacy came out to me”. Gauge her reaction: if she doesn’t seem to fazed by it, you’re probably safe. If she does, maybe reconsider coming out.Is there a backup plan? It sucks to think about, but lots of LGBT+ youth face being kicked out of their home, conversion “therapy”, etc. Make sure you have a backup plan, like another family member or friend.Okay, I’m pretty sure I’m safe and I have a plan just in case I’m not. Now what?I’m glad you asked. There’s lots of methods to come out:Tell her. This is a bit daunting, but a simple “Hey mom? Can I talk to you about something serious?” Will let her know that you really need to talk. Sit down and be prepared to answer questions she may have, like “How do you know?” or anything like that.Out yourself through various means. This can be through a joke or pun, or maybe just talking about how pretty that girl is on the TV show you two are watching together. If she’s good with subtleties, she’ll probably end up asking you about it.Write a note. This is what I did, and I don’t regret it a bit. I knew I could never tell my parents to their faces, so I chose to leave a note on their bed. It can be funny or serious, whatever you think will fit.I told her! Now what?Now, you have a couple different scenarios.Your mom accepts you and is totally chill. Great! Maybe you have to answer some questions, maybe not. But overall, everything is good.It might take some time for her to come around, but she’s won’t be outright angry. Having a child that’s LGBT+ can be a shock and she may just need time to absorb it.You totally miscalculated and shouldn’t have told her. Now what? Well, if the two of you can agree to not talk about it, it can be pushed under the rug. Or, you may need to implement that backup plan.Keep in mind there are many resources, like the Trevor Project, to help you through this. You’ve got this, girl! Best of luck.
As an adoptee, is it safe to assume that my biological mother still thinks about me if she's still alive?
Unlike a used car, your mother will always wonder and worry about you and the decision she was forced to make. She has lain awake nights wondering if you were safe, if you had good adoptive parents or if they sold you to the sex slave market.She’s wondered if you had a warm dry place to sleep, if you had enough food, clothes. shoes. She has also worried every night that you might hate her for the most difficult decision she ever had to make.She may have been single with nowhere to turn, She may have been married and they couldn’t afford another mouth to feed. When you think of her think of her as a waif that laid awake and cried for months if not years. Please try to love her as much as she must have loved you for her to be so thoughtful.
My mom and me argue alot and sometimes shes hits me but we always forgive each other.i get bruses is it abuse?
Yes, honey, it's abuse. Your mom shouldn't be hitting you, let alone leaving bruises. You need to tell another adult that you trust. Your dad, a teacher or counselor at school, your minister, a good neighbor. Someone. All parents and kids have arguments and even make up. But most parents don't hit their kids. Honey, you have to tell someone. Your mom needs help and you need to be safe. I know it may be hard to tell, but you have to. Your mom should be the one keeping you safe, not hurting you. Please don't wait. Tell someone now. I pray you will be safe.