How do you feel about naming your child after your ex?
Karma came too soon for me. I had planned all along since I broke up with my first love that if I ever get pregnant, I'm going to name my child after his middle name. Silly, yes, but he was a wonderful man, nothing was ever wrong with our relationship, and we broke up purely out of incompatibility. I am now happily married, I love my husband greatly, and although i don't plan to pursue the "naming my child after my ex" thing, sometimes it still does comes to mind. But, my husband has exes too... To this girl, say her name is RR, my husband was her first true love. She's even married to this man who has many features that resembles my husband's (hair, weight & height, nose and eye shape) I was only flattered. My husband is a wonderful man. And I only thought then that it was purely coincidence, or maybe my husband and RR's husband are just the type of men that RR likes. Until she gave birth to a son and named her son after my husband's middle name. (My husband's middle name isn't a common first name. It isn't a very common name period.) Now i'm starting to read into things, when I got married two years before RR did, RR messaged on my husband's facebook "Congratulation! Your wife is very cute! she's small, just like me!" and i realized I have some face features that resembles her too. We are the same height and body type also. Now my insecurities is eating me alive,,,,, Because of this, I thought i will not name my child after my ex anymore, i will not have my husband (and my ex's future wive) to go through these insecurities I went through. Its not too late, I have not been with child. But what about RR and her son? My husband has not found out about this yet, and i feel like i need to shield this knowledge from him or that someone ought to tell RR's husband... opinions please.....
When men remarry, how do they feel about children from their previous marriage?
Getting married again doesn't change how a father feels about his children; if he was responsible and loved and cared for his children while married and then single he will continue to do so; if he was immature and selfish he probably will remain so.The biggest outside influence on this will probably be the women (partners) in his life. If his ex, chooses to try and alienate him from his children and keep them apart he may tolerate the easy path and become separated; that said, if his new partner is supportive and encouraging, she may try and promote a strong and loving relationship with his children from a previous marriage. And vise-verse on both counts.Men's relationship with their children after a divorce is usually less a factor of the quantity of the their love, but the quality of their character. So the answer to your question is they feel the same love for their children they always have, the issue may be the quality of the character to show and act on it.Good Luck.
Why do men often bizarrely kill their ex-spouses or girlfriends?
They sometimes kill not only their ex-spouse, but the children they purport to love so much. Then, in keeping with their cowardice, they commit suicide. This is the end result of one young boy's court-ordered visitation with his father: "RCMP are conducting an internal review into how police handled a bitter custody dispute that ended with a father killing his three-year-old son in a murder-suicide. McIntosh, who made it known she wanted to leave the province with her son for a fresh start in Ottawa, said she repeatedly went to police and the courts over worries about Saunders' threatening and irrational behaviour. "Are you going to wait until one of us is dead before you open an investigation?" McIntosh said she asked RCMP. But the 27-year-old mother said she expected her grave concerns for safety would be taken to heart. Police grew weary of her complaints, according to McIntosh. She needed evidence or an admission of guilt, they told her. "They said I could be arrested for making false complaints." Friends have described Saunders, who recently took a job at a car dealership, as a "nice guy." In the weeks leading up the murder-suicide, Saunders confided in a friend that he was angry about McIntosh's plan to move away and take the couple's son with her. "He said, 'If you do, it'll be over my dead body,' " the friend said. "It was a really wonderful day for us. He was so affectionate and snuggly. I didn't want to say goodbye, but I faced jail if I didn't." Before 3 p.m., McIntosh drove to the RCMP detachment to drop her son off for his weekend visit with his father. Saunders was waiting for them in the parking lot. "I said, 'Look, there's your daddy.' He was so excited, he was just bouncing from foot to foot." McIntosh didn't know it then, but it was the last time she'd see her son alive. "I'm packing a backpack and going to Mexico. I'm going to sit on a beach with a pottery wheel," said McIntosh, who is an artist. "I will celebrate my son's life. I will go on and be happy and remarry and have children. (Saunders) will not take away my right to have family and be happy away from me." These murder-suicides are not at all uncommon. Invariably, it is the father who is responsible,
Should I "forgive" child support my ex doesn't feel he should have to pay?
I chose to do this.While child support was court ordered at $300/month from the time I left my daughter’s dad and was granted physical custody, he only paid a total of $1,200 between that time (she was age 4) and when she turned 18.He made most of his money through shady under-the-table means, and changed states several times, so there was no way to enforce the order. On the other hand, I made a decent salary and while things were tight sometimes and my credit cards were always maxed out, we got by OK.When she was in high school she started getting Social Security payments (I believe that was because he reached age 65 and filed, and listed her as a minor dependent). That helped, but it was her money, not mine.In her senior year of high school, after not hearing from him for many years, he called me and ranted about how the California child support folks had finally caught up with him in Georgia and that the outstanding order was preventing him from getting a driver’s license and he couldn't fly without a license and thus I was keeping him from attending her graduation.That ranting voice from the past helped me realize how peaceful our life had been since leaving him. I took a day to think about it, and then contacted child support enforcement and per their procedure, wrote them a letter asking them to drop the child support arrears and to cancel the order for the months left until she turned 18 (total of about $80,000, including penalties and interest).It felt good, as though I was letting go a piece of the past.I also bought him a ticket to her graduation, and let him know it would be waiting for him at will call.He didn't come.
Why do I feel sorry for my ex husband?
Today is his 51st birthday. He has no job but lives in a house with a $2800/month mortgage. He has gotten child support cut down to $200/month. I have full custody of our 9 & 12 year old sons. He has done nothing but make my life miserable. He had me arrested (he lied to the police). He has lied to IRS (I'm waiting for my audit). He has lied to the courts and dragged on our divorce battle. He has not fulfilled his obligations per the divorce decree. He has been arrested for indecent exposure, is addicted to porn and drinks alcohol daily. He drives with my children in the car after he drinks. He has lied to my 9 and 12 year old sons telling them I cheated on him. I am remarried to a wonderful man. I would NEVER feel like I would want to be with my ex again. The thought of having sex with him repulses me.He was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to me. In my heart, it makes me sad that he is this way. Outwardly he looks and acts like an upstanding man. He is not. It is just a shame. I have prayed for him (he made fun of me for that). The boys know nothing of his problems but were very upset about the lies he told them about me. What to do? Is there something wrong with me?
WHY do I feel the need to Protect my ex??
My ex and I have been divorced for 42 years. In fact, the child we had together is 41 years old. This man has been married and divorced 4 times and just recently broke up from another unfulfilling relationship at 61 years old. Although I no longer love this man, I can't say I hate him either. He has been a notorious womanizer (which is why we were divorced), and he probably deserves whatever he gets, but I still wish him well. Don't wonder why you concern yourself. It's just something women go through. You had a child with this man and whether you realize it or not, you see him in your daughter's eyes every day. Even though the relationship fell apart and you've moved on, you can't help but wish him well. Most likely, you'll always feel this way, so don't worry yourself about it.
Ex-spouse at child's birthday parties?
I would like some feedback on this situation. I am a divorced mother of two who is currently involved in a relationship with a man who is also a divorced father of two. My daughter's 7th birthday is today and I am throwing a birthday party for her this weekend. I have always invited my ex (her father) to my children's birthday parties because he is their father. However, my boyfriend feels that this is not right. He feels that we should lead completely separate lives and throw separate parties for the children. He says that it is confusing to all involved and gives the impression that we are still a family. I disagree, but am open to hearing what others have to say about the matter.
Does karma ever catch up to men who abandon their children?
Sad to say but my ex abandon our daughter when she was 8 ... he met another woman. I never should've married him as he had a wandering eye to begin with and was very passive aggressive. I was not perfect mind you ... I ran into one of his "drinking buddies" and he mentioned my ex said he married her and has 3 kids with her. Anyways it got me thinking ... is he happy? How can someone that left their child (she adored him too) have a successful life? Will Karma ever catch up to him?