My boyfriend is awkward in social situations, help?
I love my boyfriend dearly and he has so many wonderful qualities, but he's very socially awkward. Not shy, awkward. He just doesn't understand social cues, at all. He doesn't realize when he makes others uncomfortable. He can't figure out how to act in a group of more than roughly three people. He's very enthusiastic and goofy in a way that can come off as strange, and he can't really tone down his personality - if he feels shy, he's quiet and hangs in the background, and if he feels comfortable, he's loud and...well...a bit overbearing. He comes on quite strong. It's fun when we're with just a few people and everyone knows him well because we just smile and joke around when he makes silly jokes or talks in weird voices to be funny, cause it's just the way he is and we all know he's such a great and loving person and it's hard not to love him. But people who are first meeting him don't get his jokes and don't understand his personality, and it's off-putting. He knows that he doesn't understand how to interact in social situations and he's embarrassed about it but he can't really tell when he's saying/doing the total wrong thing in a situation and making others feel awkward. I don't want to hint at it to get him to change his behavior in the moment because I don't want to make him feel bad, but I get embarrassed about it sometimes. I'm an incredibly social person, and reading other people and responding to them in a way that puts them at ease is a strength of mine. I don't want to break up with him over this because there are honestly so many great things about him I could go on about, and I really appreciate those, but it's hard when I want so much for my friends to like him.
Why do I feel uncomfortable and nervous in social situations?
Social phobia is a term that i would use to describe your current condition.It happens when you are constantly affected by what is happening in your surroundings. There is a difference between being alert and being on the edge. I am guessing you were bullied as a child, maybe had an embarrassing episode with the public and by public I mean your peers. Its that trauma which has not allowed you to come out and move on.I would advice the following-1. Stop seeking approval or appreciation from people. It will only make you lose your identity.2. Do what you fear the most. If its the Social culture that frightens you, start talking with strangers. Look for a book called "How to talk to anyone, anywhere and anytime" by Larry King.3. Aim to Express and not Impress.4. Stop looking at their faces when you are stressed out, the reactions on people's faces is just a distraction.Goodluck!!
What could someone, who is afraid of loud noises and has social anxiety, do to "fix" them both?
You're not going to like my answer, but I'll give you some sound advice, nonetheless.Anxiety, as we all know, is the unconscious activation of our “flight or fight” system. The body is loaded down with adrenaline, cortisol, and other chemicals - which are super important if you're fighting in a war, but not so important (and definitely unpleasant) if you're just trying to hang out with other human beings.Your brain tells your body to ready itself against violence. When no violence takes place, you have an “anxiety attack”.If you were actually fighting or running, you would still be in the same biological situation. You simply wouldn't notice/care, as you would be preoccupied.But since (I'm assuming) you're not doing either, you notice everything. And well, the mind can be sick indeed.Hyper aware, and muscles full of ACTH laced blood, if you become more anxious in your situation, your brain will interpret this as more fighting/running. You will then produce even more ACTH. This lengthens and strengthens the attack, which may make you more anxious, and… do I need to go on?Point is: your brain, for whatever subconscious reason, feels that loud noises and people equal death.How do you stop this? By proving to your brain that they most certainly don't.Create loud environments. Go out in public. Of course you'll panic at first, and no one with anxiety wants the “just get over it” answer. But that's the answer you'll get from me, because that is the only way to stop it; if you don't want to spend years in therapy trying to pin down the reasons why your brain is so terrified of these things in the first place.
My conscience is so loud?
Whenever I'm in social situations, I always over think everything everything I say. I have these voices in my head (not literally like schitzophrenia) that tell me what's appropriate and what's not. Like whenever I'm in a conversation and I want to say something, my conscience says "don't do that you'll look stupid", and I would want to hare my story so bad but my conscience is refraining me from doing so. I over think everything I say so I don't get the chance to even say it.
How do I handle the situation when some class students disturb session?
This is a kind of situation that is common in every class room.You have 2 options to tackle the situationBe rude to himBe nice to himThese people tend to disturb people due to 2 reasonsEither they know what's being taughtThey are feeling boredTry to figure out what is the situation and act correspondingly.Hope this helps
Is it rude for your husband not to introduce you in social settings?
YES, that was very disrespectful of him!!! You should have told him about it then & there & insisted he introduce you. IF he was "close enuf" to those "distant relatives", the least he could do was introduce his own wife. HOPE you've told him how hurt, angry you are about the whole thing. Do not allow it to happen again...best to you, honey...:)
Why do I feel so uncomfortable, nervous, and angry in loud social situations where many people are talking at once?
My diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) almost 2 years ago prompted me to re-evaluate past life episodes and how they may relate to my ASD.I have a vague childhood memory of being in a crowd of people with my Mom. I was pacing around and acting out an imaginary story playing in my head. My Mom noticed and said, "Stop doing that." Some five decades later, I know what the name of "that" was. Sometimes I still retreat into daydream land when I'm in the marketplace and reality is a crowded store with noise galore.Only recently, against my better judgment, I went to a store that was having a BIG sale. It was like every human being within 5 miles had descended upon this store. I can still picture in my mind driving the store cart through the maze of my fellow man. The sounds of people talking were static noise. I recall the tension rising in my body and my hands holding the cart handle as if I was holding on to the edge of a cliff. You might imagine what I wanted to do with that cart but my coping skills were in gear. Holding on with my tight fists, deep breathing, and a prayer on my lips, I found what was on sale and headed for the check-out lane.I could breathe normally again as soon as I got out the exit door. I bathed myself in "alone" time after arriving home. I'm glad this sale only comes around twice a year. I'd go again but NEVER on a Saturday again!Why? It’s just the way it is for me living on the Spectrum. It is like asking why do I breathe.