How often and long must I be away from my wife if I join the Navy as an IT Specialist.?
I am 27 and married and plan to join the Navy as an IT Specialist. I would like to be stationed in San Diego if given a choice but, that's besides the point. I want to join the Navy because it's an excellent way to be able to take care of your family and provide them with the needed securities of life (healthcare, a home, food, money, Stability, job security, etc...). The Navy will allow me to provide them with everything. I do know that it will require me to be away, but that's a necessary sacrifice I'm thinking of taking. I just want to know a few things first before making my decision so I take steps to keep it to a minimum, or to plan things out. Here are a few points I would like to get cleared up specifically, but I would like as much info to these basic points as possible. Preferably by those who've been there, done that. 1) After basic training, where will I go for job training, and will my wife be able to come with me? 2) After job training, how likely will it be I get stationed at one of my preferred locations (San Diego, CA)? 3) How often will I be deployed out to sea; can my wife come with me? 4) When deployed, please explain how long it is for and whether or not my wife can accompany me and how that works. 5) When exaxtly do I get a chance to live with my wife off base? After bootcamp? After a or c school? When am I able to do so? 6) What are the unaccompanied bases I should hope to not get deployed to?
How can I encourage my wife to travel with me for a 10-day Europe tour without our two-and-a-half-year-old son?
You are going about it wrong. While I agree that couples need adult time away from their kids regularly, you sound like you are expecting her to simply agree with you and dive in to a 10 day vacation for her first real time away from your son.You are going to have to build up to this, so both she and your son can get used to the idea of being apart. As other people have answered, small children need routines to follow, or they get cranky and act out. Any disruption can cause an outburst or tantrum.So first you arrange a date night with your wife where the two of you stay overnight at a hotel while your son is staying with one of his grandparent’s houses, or an aunt/uncle’s. When he sees you both in the morning when you pick him up, he’ll realize it’s okay to stay away overnight from mom & dad for a little while.Do that once or twice, then go away for a weekend with your wife somewhere. Just 2–3 days away. It will be harder for both of them, but is doable. Do that a few times. Then maybe send your wife away for a longer trip - maybe 5–7 days with her friends, sisters, etc. That’ll get her used to being away from your son for a longer time, and will give you a great chance to bond with your son.After than you can try to get a full week’s trip. 10 days is still a bit much at this point in time. Or maybe you can take a trip with your son for the first few days, then drop him at his grandparents for the rest of it. Or bring your parents and him along with you for the for the first part of the trip, then fly them home and enjoy the rest with your wife.One other thing - ask your wife what her earliest childhood memory is, and how old she was in it. I’d bet she was 4 or 5. Most people don’t remember much of anything prior to age 4. So your wife’s fears of how your son will think of her are unfounded.
How often do you visit your parents, if you live far away?
My wife and I have just recently relocated midway across the country with our two year old son, which is a significant change from having been only an hour and half away from my parents when we lived in Pittsburgh and six hours away from my wife's family in Syracuse.When we still lived in Pennsylvania, we made plans to try to get together with my in-laws at most major holidays, since travel back and forth to New York can be difficult, both with a two year old and as poor seminary students. Her parents would usually make the journey down to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, then we would plan to travel up to Syracuse for New Year's and at least once during the summer. Since my parents were closer and had frequent need to travel to Pittsburgh (they are pastors and chaplains who often make hospital visits there), we saw them more frequently due to the different circumstances. To balance the situation out, we attempted to Skype with my wife's parents at least every other week or so, provided our schedules worked out and we could consistently remember to do so.Now that we are at least 14 hours from either of our families, we are finding a need to be much more intentional about keeping connected with them. Since both my parents and I are pastors, it's very difficult to schedule family vacations and visits in the places that most families usually see each other: Pastors don't really get breaks during Christmas and Easter, and being a brand new pastor in my church, taking my first week of vacation within the first three months of my starting this new ministry would be inappropriate, even if it is Thanksgiving.So we're going to be Skype-ing or Face-Timing with both of our families much more frequently and attempt to schedule most of our vacation times either during the summer months or just after major Church seasons, like Christmas or Easter. Since I get four weeks of vacation a year in the covenant I have with my church, our plan right now is to try to spend a week and a half with each side of our family, then have a week for ourselves to spend as family, as well.
I've been married three times and all three wives have cheated on me. I travel frequently for work and work long hours. The common theme is that they weren't getting enough of my attention. Should I just give up on marriage?
You shouldn’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results. I think you could change any one or more of these things:Give up on marriage as you suggested;Give up on monogamy. You and your next wife both have permission to have sexual and romantic partners outside your relationship. Obviously you would need to discuss your lifestyle and agree on this before marriage;Discuss your nature in a very clear way with your next wife. Be completely honest about how much / little of your time and attention she will get, and that you need a wife who is willing to remain faithful anyway. For this to work, you need to choose a woman who has many pursuits of her own, either work, social, charities, etcetera, so she is not looking for much attention from you. Treat her the same way during courtship as you would in marriage, so she knows what she’s signing on for;Cut down on work and work-related travel. Since you didn’t suggest this yourself, you will probably not choose it, but I thought I should mention the possibility for completeness.
Plane ticket times?
Hello, I am trying to look at flights from Chicago, IL to Tokyo, Japan. I want to go there for my honeymoon, but I can't find out how to book two round trip plane tickets for the same plane at the same time. I do not want to get on a separate plane from my husband when going to a foreign country. I've tried trip advisor and all those sites, but a lot of them only offer flights at different times or on different planes, even when I schedule months out. Am I doing something wrong? I don't want to miss out on a good honey moon because the site doesn't work properly.
My wife is going on a 3 day business trip a male co-worker. Should I ask to go along with her?
Some important questions to think about! Has she had this job long? Have they had her go on trips before? Has she been unfaithful to you in the past? Is the male co-worker married? Will they have separate accommodations? How much of the business trip will actually be spent working on business? Etc...... I second the idea of seeing what is in the area and mentioning the idea that you two could spend some of her off time doing some of these activities with you. My Aunt travels all the time for her work and many times my Uncle will meet her where-ever she is partway into her trip so they can both see the sights, etc. ***NOTE*** For those of you saying that he should just trust his wife to be alone with a man for several days with no one else around, PLEASE THINK!!!!!!!!! Things happen. Maybe she doesn't think of her co-worker romantically now, but a few days away with him COULD change that. We don't know his wife and her morals. Maybe he has a really good reason for asking this question. Maybe she dresses provocatively and tends to flirt, we don't know. Maybe she is the sweetest woman in the world and would never even consider cheating on him and he is just a jealous type husband. I generally agree with trusting a spouse, but I would NOT go on a business trip alone with a man and I hope my husband would never consider going on a trip with another woman either. I am not jealous about much except my relationship with my husband. I would be devastated if he cheated.
Why does my wife go out dancing with her girlfriend every weekend?
I could understand if every once in a while she would want to go out with her girlfriends, maybe once a month. but every weekend? that seems excessive. I also don't understand why if you are married, she would be so opposed to you all hanging out as a group. in my opinion, that's what married couples do. I would be a lot less opposed to her behavior if she were shopping or going to the spa with her girlfriends. because those are not activities you would most likely want to be included in anyway. i think she wishes she were free. i'm not saying she wants to have an affair, just that she looks at her friends who maybe aren't married or who don't have kids and she wishes she weren't tied down. however, she chose to get married and chose to have children, so she needs to be with her family. and i've been rambling on way too long. she's in the wrong, but i don't think she's cheating.
Should a husband or wife go alone to a party atmosphere for several days?
Annabee, Should a wife trust her husband? Should a husband trust his wife? Should both give up their former friends and friendships? Allow me to place myself in the grand scheme of things. I am your grandfather's age. There is trust, and there is stupidity. Trust is very important in a marriage. Stupidity is rampant in marriages too. Neither of you should be putting yourself into a situation where temptation is going to be so great that the possibility of straying is extremely likely. How do you know that a situation is stupidly dangerous? If the person going into the situation really, seriously believes that they could get away with being unfaithful and NOT be discovered, then that is a dangerous situation. Trust is a good thing. Talking about "I trust you" is good too. Part of that conversation should be the consequences of an affair. In my own case, although castration was threatened, the fear of losing the love of my life is what did it for me. And, I had no doubt that an affair would have ended our relationship. It seems natural that, once you are married, single friends don't seem to have the same interests as you do. For the first while, you may find that you still like to be with them. And, i think that women seem to need to be with their female friends periodically much more than the guys do. Both of my children are in marriages where either party can go out with friends of the same sex. But, as the one who has a child has said, they just don't invite into their home single friends - there just isn't the same interests any more. Your party with the girls, and his trip to Vegas, seem a little extreme. But, you aren't married yet. Maybe when you are, you'll be looking at each other when the suggestion is made that you go off for a few days with your friends, and say, "Really!?! You really want to do that?" Marriage is hard work. Good for you two, that you're thinking before you tie the knot. iSee