Why don’t women like socially awkward men?Who says women don’t? Your best bet is saying ‘generally’, ‘usually’, or ‘statistically’, but socially awkward people find love.But let’s delve the depths, and let’s see why this is usually frowned upon.When being around people, a person (male or female) likes to be around people that make them feel good. When a person is attracted to someone, they tend to subconsciously mimic that person.So what happens if a person is attracted to a socially awkward person? They feel socially awkward, too. If they aren’t socially awkward themselves, this feels weird, awkward even (le gasp!). And that is off-putting, and usually pops the attraction bubble, dispelling the mood.However, let me put this more into context.If a socially unaware man (which is more common with men than women) is attracted to a socially awkward female, he is more likely to deem her as needing his protection (that makes him feel like a manly protector man, and make her feel wanted). This often works, but not always.Women, however, are statistically far more socially aware and intuitive. Women are statistically also far more appreciative of a ‘manly protector man’, and therefore could see a socially awkward man as weak (can’t protect me), unsecure (can’t offer me security), and lower status (can’t bring home the bacon)—this leads him to being a cute friend, but not mate potential.This, however, only works in the static dynamic of cis-hetero-normitivity.Examples. A butch lesbian attracted to femmes are likely to find a socially awkward femme (or even stem) endearing (if she otherwise is perceived as her type).A bear gay man, if attracted to that type of man, is just as likely to find it endearing. (and I know happily married couples that follow this trend, thank you very much)In other words. If only looking through the lens of heterosexuality, it’s more likely that a socially awkward man is ‘less desirable’. Through the lens of options out there? No, it only depends if the person is their type.
I would guess you don’t “attract” them, as much as you put out signals you are safe to approach. If you could have a video of all your early interactions with men you describe this way, you would see that you empathically are aware of them being socially awkward, and in some subtle ways extend yourself, or are willing to respond when they “creep” forward.This is often a complaint I hear as a therapist by women, and sometimes men, that they believe “they attract” unwanted or undesirable people. I really don’t think it’s true. People test one another in very refined and subtle ways to see if it’s safe to make contact. Some people when they are looked at by another, will immediately look away, or if the person makes a friendly comment, something about the weather, etc., will ignore it. In the mind of someone seeking contact, that’s a failed test and they will not continue any further. Whereas another person might respond with a smile to eye contact, or even say, “ hello.” That may not be an invitation, per se, but it certainly makes it safer to continue with interest in more contact.We learn to either be responsive to others’ needs, or not, based on our early relationships with caretakers and what they may have needed from us as children. Some people without knowing it, have been trained from a very age to be highly empathic and to pick up on others’ unconscious feelings and cues. It can be a double edged sword until one becomes more consciously aware of these processes.It reminds me of the kid that is always bringing home broken birdies, or critters that need help, and are “compelled” to do this, and don’t know why. Adults can do this with people, and it is wise to get hip to how one participates in this drama. Ya can’t beat knowledge about oneself for self protection and to have a better chance of reaching one’s goals.Bruce Kugler
Do some women do this? Yes. In fact, I’d even venture so far as to say many women do this.Why?Simple: Being with a partner who has poor social skills is difficult and frequently unpleasant. It's probably far more pleasant to be with a person of average intelligence and high social skills than a person of high intelligence and low social skills.In fact, I know a few people of high intelligence and low social skills who are downright shitty to be around. Their poor social skills cause them to treat others poorly, and being vulnerable to such a person in the context of an intimate relationship would be an ongoing source of stress and pain.Women who care about intelligence tend, in my observation, to gravitate toward men with high intelligence and high social skills. There is no rule that says if you're smart you must be socially awkward, and indeed I know many smart people with exceptional social skills.
Do good women exist without being shy or socially awkward?
I think we are less in control of our emotions all the time. Hormones really do play a big part in girls lives and it sucks. Something a guy will never understand. Yes, the attention from guys in public does get old after a while. Its flattering at first but after years of it, it doesn't really mean anything to me unless I was interested in the guy also. Yes, I get intimidated when I'm alone in say like a parking garage. You never hear of a guy getting kidnapped, its always girls. I have pepper spray on my keychain so that makes me feel safe in vulnerable times. I dress up bc it makes me feel good about myself. It really does change my whole attitude to have a nice pair of heels and jewelry on. I'm a nurse which is predominantly a female jon so I don't feel at all like I don't thrive in my career bc of my gender. I don't even notice "down there"... It doesn't feel like anything and no, I can't move it lol. My breasts are also pretty much "just there" as lumps of fat. They don't hurt and they aren't uncomfortable just walking around, but they do limit certain things for me unless I have a really tight sports bra on bc I do have large breasts. So it hurts to run if I don't have something to hold them down. That's about all they limit me in though besides my wardrobe. I don't really think guys stare at them too much. I don't tend to wear revealing shirts too much, but even when I do I think guys know to look at a girls face. Periods are gross. Just lots of blood coming out. Sometimes you get cramps, it feels like a stomachache, your hormones go crazy and you get mad or sad and cry easily. You learn to deal with it better the older you get. Hope this helped a little!
Do as you see fit, but if you choose to enter the dating realm, I’d caution you to try to ease into things. I’ve known many docs/scientists (guys) that are socially shy and awkward. Objectively, they’re fundamentally decent guys (especially where women are concerned), nominally healthy, well-employed, and very low mileage (“lightly used”— few STDs likely). When many of these dudes fall, they can fall incredibly hard (and incredibly swiftly). Virtually any woman that they go out with is vastly more experienced when it comes to normal social conduct and conventions. Eddie Van Halen is less expert at playing guitar than some of these women are when it comes to playing some of these dudes (and this is often obvious to everyone but the guys). When they later get dumped, their subsequent misery (and their willingness to share it with their co-workers) makes you better understand the rationale behind assisted suicide (i.e., their coworkers will openly discuss drawing straws to see which one might be volunteered to put the poor guy out of their misery).Then again, I’ve also seen fairy tale endings for many of these folks (but these tend to happen via marrying within their “faith”—i.e., science/medicine).Good luck!
Can a retarded socially awkward guy ever get a girl friend?
Well ever since i was a child, i have been abused by my father. He abused me because i was doing bad in school my whole life and he obviously wanted me to be successful. He used to beat me and made me stay in the house leaving me with absolutely nothing but my books and video games. Now i am in college and luckily, he stopped beating me since he said i am on my own now. I will admit that being abused actually made me a better person as i understand the vital importance of being successful, but the beatings consequently resulted in me being completely socially awkward! I don't know how to interact with anyone and i honestly don't know anything because all i did was stay in the basement basically my whole life. Every time i talk to people, i NEVER know what they're talking and can only say one word answers. No one wants to be around me since i am socially retarded and make everyone uncomfortable. I honestly have the looks to get almost any girl, but due to my awkwardness, i can't get NONE. It makes me feel sad seeing groups of friends walking together while i just walk alone everywhere i go. I have a major crush on a girl in my biology class that i want to approach, but i know for a fact that she will instantly become uninterested because of my awkwardness. Do you think there is any hope for me? At this age, i should already know lots of things and be able to communicate easily, but unfortunately i can't. Occasionally, i even thought about just jumping off the nearest building since there is no point in living if i can't even talk to people. Please help do you have any advice on how to talk to girls or people in general??? I am 19 years old in college by the way
I'm an introvert and I used to be quite shy. Talking about love would make me blush and talking about sex I'd probably faint.Since I was quite interested in online world and gaming, I started with texting to other people and inevitably, girls.Fast forward a little bit, I was getting used to talking to people. I listened to many conversations other people had, often older than me, often women. I started forming opinions about various topics, slowly being able to hold up my own opinion.But the biggest advancement I owe my workplace. One day looking for a job I decided to get a job in retail. You'd think that'd be the worst place for introvert to be, but it's quite the opposite. Starting on the checkouts, the people coming always come one at a time. Older customers would like to have a chat, some girls liked to flirt a bit. As the time went on, I'd become less and less awkward with people to the point of joking around and flirting back.Long story short, all this happened by pushing myself out of the comfort zone step by step. I'm still an introvert and value my time alone, but when talking to others I now feel confident. After all, they're all just people just like me, put on their pants one leg at a time, just like me :)