How To Change My Personality Help. I Want To Be More Of A Bada$$ Instead Of A Goody Goody.10 Pts.

Do People change their personality as they grow older?

In my experience, our personalities evolve. We go through new life experiences, new hardships and successes, and are exposed to new things.An 18 year old college freshman, finally free from their parents watchful eyes has a very different day to day life, challenges, worries, and responsibilities than the 50 year old accountant with a wife, 2 children, a boss and a mortgage that he may become in 30 years.Some things that affect our world view, which in turn affects our personality can be major hardships - illnesses, deaths of loved ones, injustices we experience, and frustrations; things we desperately want but do not get.Life can also be a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. Happy, well adjusted, optimistic people tend to associate with others like them which reinforces their attitudes. Likewise the bitter and frustrated gravitate toward other like minded people who commiserate and reinforce each others resentment toward the rest of the world. Toxic entitled people bring that attitude into all aspects of their lives, which in turn impacts their relationships with others.As a result a lot of people become more and more the person they already were, building up happiness despite the hardships of life, or going into a downward death spiral of selfishness.

What is the one thing that you want to change about yourself?

I’ve had just as many struggles as the “average” person. Raised by a single mom, barely had a good relationship with parents, low income family of immigrants who came to the U.S. in the early 80s for a chance of a better life.I’m not married, I don’t want kids.I did some cool things in life.First in my family to receive a college education from the U.S. Boy was that a mission. I’m still paying that debt at 37 years old with two jobs. I ran a half marathon, did some Spartan races, traveled a little. Everything came with a struggle. Life is a struggle. I’ve fought many, figuratively speaking, wars to get where I am. Yeah sure, I could’ve turned out way worse. (just like many)Struggles used to be fun for me, or made me feel stronger for overcoming them. Now, in the face of challenges, I walk away. I don’t care for them anymore. When a person becomes difficult, I ignore or just walk away, especially when I see his/her arguments are redundant. When something looks insanely difficult like parenting, I don’t want to do it.Same with relationships, if its not easy, I get bored, get anxiety which explains why I’m single. I’ve ended friendships this past year because I’m tired of people’s dramas and have become so annoyed with petty negative crap.I got a new job in August for a major corporation, changed my career path actually. I hate my job. Half of the issues that occur at my job can’t even be resolved by me alone. It’s corporate so I feel like I have to involve 10 people Ive never met in an email thread just to get one shit done. It’s exhausting. As I’ve gotten older, my tolerance for struggle and pain have become exhaustible. I look around and wonder all the time if life is meant to be this hard and complicated.I catch myself smiling at the simple things. When I see people laughing and talking to each other without their phones in hand, simple joys, simple jobs, cleaning, hospitality, cooking, people watching at an airport, dancing, animals, etc. Shit like that makes me happy.So the one thing I would love to change about myself is to have the tolerance to not give up so easily when things get tough. To be that complex person that likes complex patterns and figures shit out instead of running away. To be the true definition of a courageous person. To fight, not flight all the time. I find myself wanting to isolate myself from all and everything that make living on this planet difficult. Not a great quality to have on a planet like this one.

Why might women have better handwriting (more readable, neater) than men in general?

I think this question is slightly misleading. Historically, men and women were taught penmenship with the expectation that their written communications would be legible and beautiful. If you take a look at manuscripts from the 17th and 18th centuries, men's writing can be quite ornamental (though women, for whatever reason, were usually taught to write in an italic script rather than secretariat, which actually makes it easier to read women's documents).Granted, women of the leisure class had more time to devote to writing letters, etc., but I'd be willing to bet that if you compared men's and women's writing from just about any era before the twentieth century, the scripts would be equally "fancy."The twentieth century, of course, brought greater use of the typewriter, and later electronic communication, and the greater use of women as secretaries and typists. While men ran the businesses, working women needed to have legible handwriting as part of their job description. Of course, there were always exceptions.While "traditional gender roles" partly explains handwriting differences, I've gotten the sense over the past few years that the quality of handwriting is becoming more based on personal preferences and personality, especially with electronic communication (and occasionally male secretaries). I know guys with gorgeous handwriting, and girls whose written script looks awful. As a guy with extremely neat and "pretty" handwriting, I have to disagree with the paragraph of the previous answer just a bit. I've never gotten negative feedback for having good handwriting, even though I usually choose to write in cursive.My personal theory is that handwriting is related to your interest in, or how much you value, how things look. Engineers and architects, for example, have quite straightforward, clear readable script. Artists often have lovely scripts, though their actual readability is questionable. Math majors or computer programming folks, oddly enough, tend to have sloppy writing.

Does anyone actually want, or like, to be a bad person?

Yes, I do. And I mean really bad. I was a goody two shoes. A Roman Catholic by birth and the most innocent person you'll ever see with the best grades. A hard working student who was everything to her parents. But I learnt that this is a very cruel world. You either hunt or be hunted. You choose. I realised that I don't want to be hunted. I don't want to be someone weak. I always expect the worst from people because that is what they are capable of. This is a fake world and I don't trust anyone. I am selfish and I take pride in that. I want to live an independent life and climb up the ladder of success. And what I mean by success is luxury, power and education. But I was not this materialistic a year ago. Things happen,people change but sometimes what this world fed into your mind doesn't change and you get used to watching the world through tinted glasses. The worst part is that you love this feeling and never want to change.

In Buddhism, why would an enlightened person defend themself, if their "self" doesn't really exist?

Thanks for A2A.What do you mean by “defend themself”? From violence? In a discussion?Let me try to clarify what “self” doesn’t really “exist”.When the Buddha spoke of something “existing” or not, he meant that it is eternal and unchanging. The word that gets translated as ‘self’ is atman. So what it is that does not exist is an eternal, unchanging soul, is the best translation to English. This is in contrast to the idea that every person has an eternal atman, that is reborn over and over, and it trying to ultimately reunite with Atman. The Buddha says there is no such thing.As to the “self” in more conventional terms. Our self-identity is a mental construct. The Buddha taught that one can examine all experience, investigate it deeply, and not find anything that would could call “self”. People normally will construct a sense of self from memories, repeated thought patterns, etc. One can examine all that, notice how those patterns of thought depend on one “feeding” them. If you stop feeding them, they stop recurring. When one can realize the impermanent nature of those thought patterns, and let them go, that constructed sense of self goes away. There is still, however, a sentient being that has experiences, including pain, sadness, joy, displeasure, pleasure, etc.That being said, for someone that has allowed that constructed self as a thing to dissipate, it is still convenient to have a word for that set of ongoing processes and experiences contained in a mobile bag of skin, and they would refer to that as “themself”. Pleasure, pain, hunger, etc., they don’t go away just because the constructed self is gone, it is just that there is a different engagement with them.Would such a one defend themselves from violence? I think it depends on the circumstances. It becomes a matter of the greatest good that can be created in a situation. Would such a one defend themselves in discussion? If they are awakened, it’s not like they need to prop up their self-esteem or anything, it would be more a matter of how to help everyone involved in the discussion reduce their own self-created suffering.