How should I deal with a difficult wife?
If you love your wife and want to stay in your marriage, then you need to make changes. The fact that she always does this to you means you let her do this to you. You've let this dynamic evolve over time so you need to take small steps to regain the balance of respect. I would first try to telling her how her actions make you feel. But not at that exact moment. Choose a different time (maybe the next time you two are together and are sharing a peaceful moment). Tell her you love her and that there is something that has really been on your mind. Tell her that what you are about to tell her is really important to you and that you really need her to listen.Now, tell her that when she talks to you in that manner, it hurts you and that the person you know her to be wouldn't do that. Ask her to please stop talking to you like that because it hurts you.If she has any feelings, she will realize what she is doing and will say she's sorry.Even so, It will happen again, so repeat what you told her before. Tell her, although you seem angry, I've told you before how your words have hurt me. I've asked you to please stop, it isn't necessary to make me feel like that. So please stop. This is really important to me and our life together.It will happen again, so this time be a bit more forceful. (I'm not telling you to lose your temper or scream, just be a bit more forceful).Tell her you've asked her twice now to stop treating you this way. Tell her you have had enough of the way she has treated you and that it must stop. Now. Then walk away every time she does this to you, which will end that moment and not allow her to do that to you.If she cares for you, she will feel bad after the first time you talk to her. The second time will remind her that you are correct and that she does have a tendency to speak to you this way - maybe even out of habit.The third time you tell her she will see that you mean it.If she doesn't stop after that, you need marriage counseling and she may need anger management. She is a bully. She feels better about herself when she puts you down. She needs to be made aware of this and then, if that doesn't work, she needs to be stood up to. Bullies always choose people they feel will not fight back. So be firm about how you feel.Don't lose your temper, just be firm.Remember:People will talk to you in the manner that you allow them to talk to you.I tell this to my coworkers, and my kids. Command respect and you'll get it.
How to deal with a difficult toddler????
My 21 month old has a VERY difficult personality. He is loving and sweet - on his own terms- but can also be very mean. He will reach up and scratch my face for no reason. Or will go and bite the crap out of his brother. We punish him - he stops for the moment- but may strike at any time.... My main issue right now is that I can't even leave the room w/ out him freaking out. He is REALLY attached to me and wants me right by his side all the time but - he is so difficult that I cant get anything done. I work from home and as soon as I sit down at my desk - he freaks out!!! What can I do??? How can I get this child to give me some breathing room. He does not behave this way with anybody but me. He is Daddy's angel and is perfect at daycare (he goes 2 days a week).... so what am I doing wrong???? Please - good advice only- I dont need anybody being critical of my parenting.... Im doing the best I can .... just having a bit of a hard time right now. Thanks!
How do I deal with my difficult boss?
This is perhaps one of the most talked about topics in the corporate world. Even various surveys have revealed that employees actually don’t change a company, they change their boss. The reason being, it is difficult for them to bear conflicts and stress on day-to-day basis. Most importantly, they have no clue how to deal with their bosses.However, is changing job a permanent solution? What if you find your new boss worse than the previous one? So, instead of running away every time, why not don’t you find a way to learn how to deal with our current boss no matter how difficult he or she is?In order to find a solution, follow these three steps below:1. Connect – Establish a connection with your boss. We are not talking about boot-licking here.2. Convey – Convey your message to your boss appropriately.3. Convince – Once you complete the first two steps, convincing does not take much time. How to Connect to Your Boss?This is a million dollar question! How you can actually establish a connection with your boss who terrifies you? It is actually a simple process. All you have to do is to understand the needs, interests and concerns of your boss. For some time, put your needs and concerns on the back burner, and understand the areas your boss is concerned with. It could be efficiency, productivity, quality, cost saving or something else. Then try to provide a concrete solution.Well, before you go about finding solutions to those areas, you also need to listen carefully to understand his/her concerns, ask proper follow up questions and subsequently put forward your suggestions. There is one more thing. When you are disconnected from your boss, you may also feel undervalued. In such a scenario, you tend to equate your potential with the current salary. That’s a mistake! Actually, you have potential way beyond your current salary, and once you learn to use the wide range of skills you have, your salary will also skyrocket.
How to deal with difficult customers?
my boss said it best... let them vent on you. They will look foolish to those around you but they will feel much better. Leaving them much easier to handle. Listen until they are finished and reassure them that you are doing what you can. Remember, most people react in an angry fashion when they feel embarrassed about something. Your positive attitude will also contribute to the resolution.
How do I deal with a difficult brother?
I'm not in my 50s but I have family too and a counsellor so I'll answer from there. It's important to have boundaries in any relationship. Eg a set of parents trying to stop their child from taking drugs. They're the ones that goes to therapy and info sessions. They're the ones that bails him out when in trouble with authorities and financially. Whilst their son is out skiing at a resort having the time of his life. Now who as a problem? The parents. They are the ones that's dealing with the mess and not their son.Boundaries in your case would mean to step back and no longer try to make a relationship work on your end alone. If he doesn't want to work at keeping communications with the family, that's on him. Your father is a father...what can I say- he probably would've given him the money even if he knew he wasn't going to get it back. As a parent you know your kids and if he's had the habit of not keeping his end of the deals in general (even small things like promising to do the Laundry or wash the dishes) and no punishments- he's probably not going to give it back. Another thing is expectations. You seem to expect him to be like you and keep in touch and have the same regard for the family as you do. But does he know this expectation explicitly? Do you tell him you're upset when he would tell you he can't talk because he's watching a show? Sounds like he's always been able to behave this way so it's strange for him to thing why he has to change now unless someone's told him and followed through with consequences . Eg if you keep doing this I'm going to stop calling.Maybe you can talk to your older sibling about this and see from their perspective as well? And perhaps discuss how to change this dynamic in your families.
How do you deal with a difficult employee?
First, you can avoid firing the employee for only so long so you are going to have to start earning that part of your pay. In the meantime, start by pulling them into your office so the conversation is private and have a meeting. Do not use the meeting to provide praise (that mutes the real message). Be honest with them - explain that their behavior is unacceptable and that when you say to do something (or not do something), you expect them to listen and follow orders. Provide the employee with a concrete example or two (i.e., "Last Tuesday, I asked you not to do X, yet on Wednesday, you did X. This behavior is unacceptable and you need to stop."). End the meeting with no praise (i.e., do NOT say "I hope you have learned. Other than this you are a good employee, so I think we can fix this."). If the employee after the talk continues to ignore your orders, does not change their behavior, etc., you have to take more drastic measures. Maybe begin by cutting the hours of the people not listening - start by cutting their hours by 25% - you can tell them why. Again pull them aside and say something like "You'll notice your hours are down. We had a conversation last week where I asked you to change your behavior and I continue to see the same behavior.. Until you improve your game, I am going to have to start giving your hours to other employees who will follow my directions. There are reasons we do things specific ways and not doing things these ways screws up the entire process, which you are doing now and I cannot have this." After this, you can continue to cut hours or you can finally come to the conclusion that you are better off without that employee and fire them.
How do I deal with a difficult girlfriend?
Well, there are two or three things that jump right out at me.Option A: what you’re providing may not be good enough, but even so if offered with a good heart, she should take the route of being gracious about it.Option B: She’s playing domination games with you, controlling your behaviour.In either case, she’s not actually your girlfriend. I think you realise this, because you’ve decided to ask a bunch of strangers on the Internet to either give some voice to an excuse for her behaviour, or for us to point out the obvious.A romantic relationship is supposed to be about equality between the partners. If she were contributing in some other way, you’d not be asking us for advice, would you?