Does my boyfriend have OCPD?
I can guarantee that if this didn't effect his every day life, and mine, I wouldn't have posted it! This is a long time thing going on. IT is more than just some normal problem, because if it was indeed normal, than what a person would normally do to solve a problem would actually work! NO PROBELMS EVER GET SOLVED!! To everyone else, the answers are simple to see, as they are to me, but a solution cannot ever come if one person is so dillusional that nothing makes sense!!!!! I don't have a problem admitting when I am wrong people! Imagine crying yourself to sleep at night because you can't get through to the person you love! He loves you, but will continue to hurt you, because he just doesn't get that he's not always right! I REALLY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE THINK THAT A PERSON JUST THINKS THE OTHER PERSON IS SCREWY BECAUSE THEY DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!!!! The problem is that I do! There IS NO OTHER ANSWER here!!!! He's got something wrong!!! I am so ready to take him to a psychologist!
How can I stop my jealousy and being paranoid about my boyfriend?
Try to think about what is triggering the jealousy. Did someone with similar qualities cheat on you in the past? Does he do things to make you jealous on purpose or do you think it’s mainly you, that’s carrying around old baggage? If you think about it you might come up with your own answer. Your boyfriend is with you by choice, he could walk at anytime but he hasn’t, that tells me he wants to be with you, so what is there to be jealous about? We have all been cheated on at some point in time, but that doesn’t mean all the people you date will. Sometimes we pick the same type person over and over again, it’s not a conscious decision, but that would lead us to the same type problems we have run into before with other people. For instance I have done this same thing, by being attracted to the “Bad Boy” type and every time, that’s what I get, a some what abusive type guy that runs over me and takes advantage of me and my good nature. That’s not what I’m looking for but it happens, so you have to think about what you are doing and change the the type person you seem to be attracted to and find a more secure type person, that you feel you can trust. If you don’t feel like you can trust your boy friend then I would get out of the relationship, because your gut feeling is telling you you can’t trust this person for a reason. You may feel the jealous and paranoid, because he is actually doing things that makes you feel that way, like staring at other women while you guys are together or talking about women with you. My ex husband and I saw two people wreck on a motor cycle and the first words out of his mouth were, Wow, she has boobs that look just like yours! It wasn’t, I wonder if they got hurt or need assistance, he was more interested in her boobs!! Our relationship didn’t workout, not because of that, but because all he needed was a maid and sex partner and he was extremely needy and I am very independent. Good luck, I hope this helped, if you do leave him, next time you start dating try picking someone that’s different than anyone you have dated before.
In Friends, is Monica a perfect example of a person with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)? Since Season 6, she's too annoying. In real life, do people like her need to consult a psychiatrist?
Oh yeah! She is a perfect example of a person with OCD. Not very strangely, she had all 4 major types of OCD. You can see the types of OCD here.Sunny Jaiswal's answer to Is OCD dangerous?1. Checking2. Contamination / Mental Contamination3. Hoarding4. Ruminations / Intrusive ThoughtsBut lucky for her, she had great friends and a great boyfriend in Chandler. Even her ex-boyfriend Richard was very understanding, wherein he understands her obsession towards cleanliness or sleeping on the left side of the bed.So, she apart from few incidents she didn't had to suffer due to her OCD. The other fact was also due to her OCD being compared to her maternity instinct(good hostess, being a mom for everyone), that it was considered a good thing on the show.Now, coming to reality, it is a hard fact that a person with such OCD would face a lot of challenges in maintaining a healthy relationship with friends and partner. As a friend, dealing with a person with such OCDs would be downright Herculian task. But it doesn't necessarily mean that one needs to consult a psychiatrist. One may find such friends as Monica had, who can understand and at times keep such OCDs in check. As I said in my last answer also, that I also suffer from hoarding. But it hasn't become a serious threat to my relations, maybe because I had some great company to keep those problems at bay.Hope this helps! :)
I get sad and anxious when my boyfriend doesn't text me or call me for one whole day. I do not want to get effected by this. How do I stop it?
I have been in the same place.Men always prioritize other things over their relationship. They expect us to understand that even if they don't call us daily, spend time with us or forget important dates we still have to believe that they are serious about the relationship and love us to the moon and back.I used to get anxious whenever he didn't call me back after traveling somewhere, i used to give him a hundred calls and then I used to call his friend, only to find out that he is busy playing games or asleep.They are worse than kids but that is how they are, it's like they are programmed that way.I got out of this by spending more time with my friends and later I spent a few extra hours at work and it all worked out. He was used to my constant pestering so much that he started missing me more and next thing I know he is the one calling me. He remembers all the dates, wants to go out often and calls me often.This might not work the same way, we are different people. But it will ease your mind.
Boyfriend secretly watches porn?
I caught my boyfriend watching porn, I fell asleep before him and woke up before him and went through his phone and found it, he watched it when I was asleep in bed beside him its not the first time either! I dont consider myself to be 'skinny' or pretty even tho he says I am but its breaking my heart knowing that he wants to watch it and he knows how much it hurts me. We have sex on a regular basis except for rag week. I hate that he watches other naked women and enjoys it (even tho he says he doesn't) he's done a lot to hurt me in the past and I can't take it anymore. I'm more paranoid than ever and I can't trust him at all. Help?? I love him to bits but im wondering if he loves me as much as he says and of he's still attracted to me. I feel disgusting and wish I could be skinnier! Is it my fault he watches it & maybe doesn't want me anymore?
Why is my boyfriend's mom being such a control freak?
i've been dating with this guy for a year now, at first everything was perfect for us. his family liked me and invited me to dinner often. a couple of weeks ago me and my boyfriend had an argument about a vacation we were planning. he said it's too expensive and i said it's perfectly reasonable. in the end he finally agreed but his mom was like really mad at me. she said i wasn't planning it well enough and that i keep changing the plans.so she decided not to let my boyfriend go with me. i canceled the vacation. she's a perfectionist, she wants everything to be perfect and hates it so much when i make one simple mistake. she likes taking matters into her own hands even though she doesn't know anything about it,she's very paranoid and she likes blaming people. she misunderstood everything and she hates me now because she thinks i can't manage anything on my own. so i was complaining to my boyfriend about that and i asked him to talk to his mom ASAP, because it's really pressuring me. i waited 3 days and he didn't have the guts to say anything against his mom, so i was really angry at him. that night i texted him saying he was a coward and a momma's boy.(he really is a momma's boy actually) i didn't know that night his mom took his phone and put it away in her own room.my boyfriend knew his mom had her hands on his phone but he didn't tell me. somehow his mom KNOWS HIS PASSCODE and read the text messages i sent about his mom and him. she thinks i'm trying to threaten her because she didn't let my boyfriend go on vacation with me.she told my boyfriend's dad about the text and now they both hate me and they don't agree on him dating me anymore. it wasn't the first time she read our text messages too,. 6 months ago i sent a dirty text to my boyfriend. not something too dirty,,i think it's acceptable. she read them and she yelled at my boyfriend and took his phone. i had to apologize to her. we don't have privacy in our relationship. his mom is really in control of everything, and now both his mom and his dad hate me. i don't know what to do because my boyfriend is really like 'the perfect son' in their eyes and he doesn't know how to stand up for himself and me. if they force us to break up, he probably will do what they say. i really love him and i don't know what to do. i really hate his mom now. please help!
Should you ever forgive a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend? If yes, why and under what circumstances?
What is wrong with you people? I hope that most of the people rooting for no are not wearing a christian cross hanging from their necks. We all make mistakes, and at the moment of doing so we dont understand fully the extent of our actions, otherwise we wouldnt make mistakes. Once we do, we change, never go back to that path, recover sight and stop being blinded by selfishness or impulsivity and make good, build great things and unify. You people have huge egos, have you never made a mistake and hurted other? We all have, maybe the lack of self observation you have makes it hard to acknowledge it. We all fail, get up, and learn, thats life. CHEATING HAS 0 TO DO WITH LOVE!!!! the person doing it is not thinking, its just like someone grabbing the car a little tipsy, is he really thinking that he can hit a kid and kill him? No. He is not thinking. Most people who cheat would rather die than loosing their loved one. Its a mistake. We all make mistakes. We all reivindicate. We all do good. If the person regrets what hes done and understands the fully extent of his mistake, why not forgive??? Who are you not to? Things dont get thrown away, they get fixed. No more division, unification and a prosper future full of love. Thats what matters.This coming from a psychologist of couples, have had couples with crisis and same problems,and it seems like cheating is worst than insulting your partner, these moral codes are crazy.Conclusion: yes. You forgive. Because you are nobody not to. We all make mistakes, learn and do better everyday. Unify as brothers and be happy that the issue is resolved and you made it. Loyalty comes in so many other ways every single day in the way the other person treats you with love, unconditional warmth and companion.
I found out my boyfriend texted an ex after she texted him first, but he didn't tell me. I feel like I can't trust him. What should I do?
I get exactly how you're feeling. It's like you're expecting he will share every single detail in his life or tell you the truth but instead he chose to hide the fact and when you stumbled upon, it hurts deep within. You start to suspect if he still harbour any feelings for her? I get that too and I know it is never easy to deal with this kinda situation.Well, my advice is to ask him what's his intention of texting/replying her message? Then you think about the intention behind his actions and see if its acceptable to you? But I feel that despite getting all upset and worked up, you shouldn't let an EX ruin the present relationship especially if you think he truly loves you and is treating you well. Forgive him of his wrongdoing and communicate clearly why you are so hurt and upset about it? Make him understand and understand from his point of view otherwise both of you will never come to term, because both have your own reasoning and thus leads to further arguments. You can't seems to trust him? Right. It is difficult to do so especially when you felt your trust was being betrayed. BUT you still need to trust him or that learn to trust him. Relationship without trust is very difficult to walk on. Because you will be paranoid at every single thing, suspicious at his every movement and it's gonna be tiring on both parties. I'm speaking from experience, it will cause a bad strain. So instead why not give him the benefit of doubt unless proven otherwise? I need to point out the importance of forgiveness. It is very important because forgiving someone is being kind to yourself and to them as well. You hold onto the issue and created hatred and bitterness, only to find yourself unhappy. It took me years to understand this, to forgive and let go.