Why do I take things too personally?
Your question is also your answer, if you know what I mean. It's because you don't have a lot of friends, and probably, no offense, and I hope I'm not being presumptuous, not much of a social life. I only say this because it truly pains me to hear guys say things like this. Think about it, when you have lots of friends and acquaintances and something of a social life that involves going out and enjoying yourself in groups, you won't have any time to dwell on the small stuff that happened six months ago--your mind will be too busy thinking about the future and all the exciting things you are going to do. Also, don't be afraid to take charge in a situation. If the other person isn't talking, then you try initiating. Remember, a lot of people are just as self-conscious as you, and are afraid of not making the "perfect" impression. Well, you know what, nobody's perfect. Don't always be the one to feel like you are under the "microscope," put others under the microscope as well. Don't always be the one seeking approval, be the one whose approval and validation is wanted. If a person doesn't respond to you, they are most likely boring and shy themselves, and you don't want to be around those people. That's a very powerful idea--if you internalize it, I guarantee you that your social interactions will improve a thousand times over, and you'll have a lot more peace of mind.
How do I not take things personally or immediately get defensive?
That sounds like the response of a less confident person.There are ways to work on building self-confidence.How to Build Self Confidence (with Examples) - wikiHowHow to do anything › ... › Building and Maintaining Self Confidence*They do work, if you are willing to put in the time and the effort.*
How to stop taking things personally? please help!?
You lack character and a positive self-image, so you are swayed by every little name--good or bad. Start building your own life based on your convictions. If that means 1 or 2 friends instead of 10 or 20, so be it. Become part of a community you can identify with, not one you want to impress.
Is it wise to marry someone who has low self esteem, no confidence and takes everything personally, even though they say they love you?
Love me, be my everything, take away my problems.I used to be like that, years ago. It was only after I took full responsibility for my life that things started to change. While I was good at certain things, as a person I felt like a failure.I learned something: love is not sufficient for a dedicated long term relationship.There are plenty of other things, that dreadful word communication being one of them. I often say: communication is not agreeing on the colours of the sunset, it’s making sure the both of you are looking at the sunset at the same time. In other words, you can share long term visions and effectively show the way to go.To do this you have to take responsibility of your own life, and low self-esteem is not working.To me, as someone who has suffered from low self-esteem, I advice to not get into a committed longterm relationship with someone with low self-esteem, unless they are already working on solving their problems. The pain and agony I experienced when I was actually trying to deal with my low self-esteem were far greater than what I was experiencing before I was solving the problem. Low self-esteem, at least in my case, is linked to deeply ingrained perceptions of self and the world at large. And everything in between. Many assumptions you take for granted will be challenged and you will find out many unpleasant things.If your boyfriend/girlfriend is already working on improving self esteem, either by own very deliberate action or with outside help, I’d give it a shot. If he or she is not, I would turn back and find someone who considers himself or herself worthy of your love and wants to be on equal ground with you.In a long term relationship you will face many problems and those created by low self-esteem or lack of confidence are not what you need at that time.I know very little and can do even less, but I’m fully confident about the little I know and can do. For example, today I installed a new shower installation and it’s not leaking, major victory for Jos with his two left hands… First time, no help, only the manual. Yet the little confidence I had was sufficient to know I could either install or revert without turning the entire bathroom into a swimming pool.Self-esteem is about many of such small victories, but someone has to actively seek them and keep seeking them to actually improve. And if that’s not happening today, why would it happen tomorrow?