My girlfriend won't watch my daughter??
Sounds like a classic case of both of them wanting to be top princess in your life....no crime. It doesn't happen intentionally, but it does happen. Your daughter probably does not like her because she feels like Jen is trying to take Mommy's place. Sure Jen isn't doing that, but Cheyenne is still not going to understand that...because, like you said, she is a kid. However, Jen should be more of an adult and realize that this kid is a KID and not in charge. Cheyenne is part of you; and Jen needs to learn to accept her just like she has your son. Maybe part of Cheyenne's issue is because Jen will willingly watch your son and throws a fit if Cheyenne is included. Jen needs to be the adult and stop letting your daughter get under her skin. For pete's sake, she is a kid! And Jen knew about her in the beginning, so this is not a surprise. I say sit down with Jen and Cheyenne and have a long talk. Do this after you talk to them individually. Tell Jen, in your one on one with her that she is going to have to accept Cheyenne and learn to cope, because she is your daughter. Tell Cheyenne, in your one on one, that Jen is your girlfriend and going to be around a long time. Tell her that Jen makes you happy, and that you love Jen and Jen loves you. Tell her that you want her to try hard and get along with Jen. Most importantly, let her know that she is now, and always will be your princess. Get them to communicate. Tell Cheyenne that she needs to behave, and tell Jen that she needs to be more patient. They are going to have to get along in order for your relationship to succeed.
I regularly kiss my daughter on the lips, but now she wants me to stop. Should I?
How is this a question. Your daughter has asked you to stop. You forking stop.Your daughter asked you to stop because she is uncomfortable with kissing you on the lips. That right there should be enough for you to stop. It is upsetting your daughter.If your daughter asking you to stop doing it isn’t enough is coming on here and having a bunch of strangers telling you to stop going to be enough? maybe we should tell your daughter to go to the police and have them go to your house and arrest you. maybe that would be enough to tell you to stop. Because once your daughter tells you to stop doing something and you persist in doing it, it then becomes assault.so - avoid killing the relationship that you have with your daughter and listen to your daughter. respect her wishes.teach her that when she says no it means no.I don’t have an issue with parents kissing their kids on the lips. Until the child themselves have a problem with it.Your child does. so now is the time to stop. I simply can’t get over the fact that you felt you needed to come here to ask complete strangers if you should listen to your child tell you no and stop. like anyone here is going to tell you no you should continue to force yourself on your daughter.cause that’s a healthy thing to do to your own child.what you are doing by continuing that behavior after your child has said stop is teach her that people that she loves can do anything they want to her and she is powerless to stop them especially if they are bigger than she is.- stop thatteach her that she is powerful and that when she says “stop” “no” the person that claims to love her will stop what they are doing and be respectful of her and her wishes and her body.be the adult that you are. and please prove to her and yourself and everyone that you aren’t as stupid as this post makes you seem to be.
Is it wrong to have a girlfriend who's the same age as my daughter?
Yes.It's disgusting to date someone 20 or more years younger than you.People may even think that you are insane.
Why is my daughter disobeying me? My daughter is 23 and is an engineer. The day she got the degree, she fled and we don’t know her exact address. She blames me for differentiating between her and her brother and some other stupid childhood things.
I notice that in your description of the background of the situation, you refer to your daughter’s concerns as “stupid”. Judging just on the few words you’ve used here, terms like “stupid” and “disobey”, you don’t appear to have much respect for your adult offspring. This sort of language means that you lose any moral authority inherent to having given birth to and raised your daughter. It sounds as though your daughter has attempted to communicate with you the reasons that she feels the need to put space between you. You choose not to respect those reasons, instead discarding them as “stupid”.Have you ever heard of the philosophy of listening to hear rather than to respond? If you listen to your daughter to respond, you will immediately counter any complaints or hurts she tells you about with denial or explanation. Eventually, she’ll just stop trying to explain. If you listen to hear, she will be able to communicate her perspective. You can then take some time to really understand what she’s telling you. You cannot change the past. You cannot change your daughter. You can change your future responses to your daughter.I am a lot like your daughter. I have a similar relationship with my mother and am now a mother myself. I can understand that it is very hurtful to my mother that I choose not to communicate with her except in very narrow circumstances. In fact, I live on a different continent than she does in part to protect myself and my family from her abusive words and manipulation.It is precisely because I do understand her pain that I choose to treat my own daughters with respect. Even though I am the mother, I acknowledge that I am not always right. I listen to my daughters’ concerns and thoughts. When I disagree with them, I do so respectfully. I let my girls know when they have made strong arguments and changed my mind. I encourage them to think from themselves. They know that I don’t have to agree with them to love them. My girls are only 10 years old, but by the time that I was that age, I had already decided that I would put my mother as far away from my life as possible as soon as I was able to.This answer was in response to “Why is my daughter disobeying me? My daughter is 23 and is an engineer and the day she got the degree she fled and we dont know her exact adress. I feel so bad without her she will never understand mother pain. She blames me for differentiating between her and her brother and some other stupid childhood things.”
My boyfriend has no respect for me or my opinions and feelings..how can i get him to???
well its good that ur holding on to the relationship..it shows what kind of person you are [caring,loving..] ur boyfriend is quite lucky..so dont ever think that u arent.. so here's what u do..threaten him..tell him if he's not going to listen to u then u wud just leave him..[am sure u have different ideas for "threatining" but i guess u got the point :D] tell him that ur fed up and he better do sth abt it or else... if he really loves u he shud understand that u really feel bad bcz of the lack of communication..by then he shud apologize and things shud get better...if not well there are always other guys in this world.. cheerz
Why doesn't my dog respect my partner & only obeys me? He just looks at him bewildered or ignores him when my partner uses the same commands I do?
This is an issue with what is called generalisation - performing a behaviour in various situations or with different people. It has nothing to do with respect. Dogs don't do generalization well. What this means is, if you teach the dog the cue to Sit in the living room, your dog may not understand what it means when you are at the park, until you re-teach it there. The same goes for 'listening' to other people. If YOU taught the dog to Sit, but your partner was not involved in the training process and did not teach him separately, it is likely that your dog simply does not understand the commands when issued by your partner.The way I explain in in class is: a child goes to school and the teacher explains 2+2=4. Child comes home and on the homework sheet is 2+2=?; and the child understands that the answer is 4 because it was taught in the classroom by the teacher that morning. The child understands that no matter who is asking, or what the location is, the answer is always 4. The dog needs to be re-taught 2+2=4 in the yard, at the park, at the vets office, by several different people until 2+2=4 no matter what or where you are.So the simple solution is to have your partner go back to lure, reward and pairing each command with the action for a few weeks (or capturing/clicking or whatever force free teaching methods you prefer to teach the dog that the cues have the same meaning when issued from your partner.
Last night I slapped my boyfriend's daughter in the face...?
Why doesn't her dad say something. He is disrespecting you by not saying anything to her. And she's 10? What she is doing is wrong, she has know right to treat you this way. Maybe she just needs a break through moment. If her mom isn't around she prob feels awful about it. Wouldn't you feel like $hit if you were 10 and your mom wasn't around? This is no excuse at all, she shouldn't do this. Maybe what she needs is to know you are not going anywhere, do not try to be her friend. She has plenty of friends herr own age. And you can't be her mom, but you can act like her Aunt. What would you do if this were your sister or brothers daughter? Sounds like she has a ton of angry in her. Maybe she needs to talk to somebody. You need to have a good heart to heart talk with her. First her dad needs to tell her to stop speaking to you like you were trash. He needs to step in and not let her do this. You cannot let her treat you this way either. Daughter or not. Good luck. I hope you can work through this with her! I remember when I was little & my dad had a girlfriend living with us & it was awful. I always hatted it when they came around, but I never acted like this or my dad would have slapped me. So i think her dad should say something. This little girl has no mom. her dad has a girlfriend & she has know idea if you're going to stay around long enough for her to love you then you'll leave. You need to talk to her and remember she is only a kid. Ask her what she's thinking. But I don't think she needs to act like this and I can't say that I would have done anything any different than you did. I know how you feel. My own daughter is 8.5 and has a smart a$$ mouth on her sometimes too. This is tough. How long have you & your bf been together? Do youthink you guys will get married? When she acts like this do not let her on the phone or watch any tv. Take away the fun things. Make her do her homework when she gets home too. She'll throw a huge fit too, but do not give into to her. She needs to respect you.
How can I parent my children when the other narcissistic parent tells them not to listen to me and gives them poor advice?
Raising children with divided parents is hard! I don’t know the ages of your children, but it’s always a balancing act between teaching them to respect the other parent while seeing that they get the messages you want to give them. If possible, talk to the other parent and tell them that it’s important that kids receive a consistent message from both of you. If a problem comes up that one of you is pretty sure the other is going to see differently, you should talk to each other before giving them a final answer. Emphasize that it’s important for them to respect you both as their parents, to give them a sense of security. Work out your battles away from the kids. When with them, don’t badmouth the other, or suggest that they not mind and respect them. If you can get the other one to agree to that, and follow it yourself, you’ll raise happier, more secure children.Thanks for asking!
What are the best ways to make my girlfriend's parents like me?
Let's get the repetitive stuff out of the way first.Financially secure: Obviously, her parents wouldn't want her to live her life with a bum. But that doesn't mean you've got to be rich. You have to show that you have a secure job, you can support her and your future family based on it.Love: Show her parents how much you love her. She them how much you care for her. If they feel that you will keep their daughter happy, that'll definitely be a plus point for you. However, DO NOT engage in PDA (Public Display of Affection) when you're with them. Parents want to know that you love their daughter, but engaging in PDA is usually frowned upon. For instance, in my country even kissing in public would make people stare and whisper. So that's a big no in front of her parents. Depending on your country's comfort level, go a notch further down when with her parents.Other than the above, there are some things which you usually learn gradually by making mistakes.Be Frank: Being frank with the girl is a must for any relationship. But be frank with her parents too. If you made a mistake, don't go hide in a cave waiting for things to cool down. Go and apologize. Tell them you know you made a mistake, and you know it won't happen again. If they see that you know how to handle your mistakes, they'll trust you. This is true for everyone, not only parents. Hiding out only makes things worse. Admit mistakes!Respect: Respect her parents, her family like you would yours. By respect I don't mean just giving compliments, and listening to them just to forget about it later. Respect their wishes, their thoughts. Listen to what they have to say, and try to do that. From personal experience, sometimes you might have to go against your girl to do that. She'll be pissed for a while, but her parents will like the fact that you listened to them when their daughter won't. And soon she'll realize what you did and why too. That'll make her love you back even more.TRY: This is perhaps the most important of all. TRY. MAKE AN EFFORT. Don't just do things that you should. Go further! Go out of your way to do something for them. To meet them. Make that extra effort that you really didn't have to. They might have liked you even if you didn't do all that, but doing it will certainly get you noticed. Show that you genuinely care for them. For their daughter.This is all I can tell you for now. Will add things if they come to mind.Good luck with her parents!