Can she be arrested for something that happened a year ago?
I dont wants anyones opinions on whether this relationship is wrong or not. So, my girlfriend and i are broken up. Because my girlfriend is 18, and i'm 15. My mom didn't approve of our relationship, and she threatened us with the cops, even though we didn't have sex. We didn't want to risk it anyways, because my girlfriend has run in with the cops before. So, we're waiting a year until im 16 to get back together. When i turn 16, i want to move in with her, but im afraid my mom will try and report her for us dating when i was a minor? She said, you can report a statuory rape case within two years of it occuring, is this true? And also, can i move out when im 16? Im pretty sure i can, if im still in school and i have a job. Also, i live in connecticut, and if it matters, were gay. Both girls. Also, my mom won't even allow me to TALK or SEE her for the next year, because shes threatening to call the cops on her? Can she do that, if we havent had sex? She thinks we did, but we didnt and theres no proof that we did...But also, were scared that even bringing my girlfriend to court, about anything, could get her arrested? because shes had previous charges, for beating a minor up.
I am still be haunted by something that happened several years ago. It is starting to feel ridiculous. How can I just let it go and move on? Why is it taking so long for me to get over?
I have had my fair share of ‘hauntings’Hauntings are an outcome of a trauma which you have gone through. If we liken our emotional system to be like a circuit board. What occurs is a short circuit. Bzzt.You'd have to re-examine the trauma from a different angle. And derive a less harsher meaning from it. As I see it the past is dead anyways. But an unhealed past is like an open sore which infects everything you do today.The idea is to give another, less painful context to it.Look at it again. Change some shapes. Change the lighting. Go higher. Perspective is key to healing. Once you understand an events significance for you, one can keep it as a precious memory full of learnings and assign it its proper place in your archives.Unfinished stories are the worst. So go back… And close those chapters. And do it with enough love. So you don't have to lug it around your whole life like a miserable burden.
I feel very guilty over something that happened years ago, what should I do?
Guilt, by definition, is remorse for that which you take responsibility. According to Dictionary.com, this guilt may be real or imagined. To move past your sense of guilt, it is necessary to understand why you feel guilty.Is your guilt based upon something you did or failed to do? Or, is it that others attribute blame to you for an event? After understanding whether your guilt is a product of action or inaction, you must figure out if the blame really rests with you or is being put upon you.Everyone makes mistakes. None are faultless. Was your error, assuming there was one, intentional? If so, make a mends, if possible. Do what you can to compensate for your error. Apologize. If those involved are beyond apologies, then apologize to yourself and accept your humanity. Living in regret is no good for you and doesn't resolve the problem(s).There is the opposite end of guilt and it is the false sense of guilt. Are you taking ownership of another's baggage? If so, your feelings of guilt signal it is time to return what does not belong to you. Guilt weighs you down. And, there are persons who deny their own guilt attributing blame to you because they cannot handle their own luggage. It is best to remove yourself from such toxicity. People, who care about you, will not torment you.Guilt is not easy, especially when the circumstances are devastating. At the same time, recognition of these feelings and properly assessing the nature of your guilt and whether you can resolve the issue(s) are crucial to your recovery. It may take time, but it will require effort.Finally, even if noone forgives you, forgive yourself. You are allowed to make mistakes. Continuing in them - is quite a different matter!
Going to prison for something you did over 10 years ago? Scared :(?
When I was younger we always moved, I never had proper friends because we never stayed in the same place, I always witnessed arguing and my dad hitting my mum :( I did a crime years ago, I dont want to go into details but it was really bad like sort of abuse, but I was a child I didnt know what I was doing :( Nobody ever found out.. Then another big incident happened, I got depressed, tried suicide, had flashbacks, heard stuff.. I had weird thoughts racing through my head.. Some people thought I was psychotic but it never lasted long enough.. I got sectioned for months and ever since i've been out I get the things happening to me every few months, nobody wanted to listen to me so i'm on my own in all of this aswel as coping with college I just battle on, scared that it could happen again.. I want to tell somebody what I did but i'm scared, I dont know what to do :(
Why can't I get over a broken date that happened 53 years ago?
Wow. My guess would be that you had very high expectations for that date, and that relationship. They represented something very important to you.When you imagine something very exciting, or very scary, your mind can visualize it very realistically and create a Fantasy. It’s a very realistic-feeling idea, full of strong emotions, that, obviously, isn’t actually real.Humans have a great capacity to imagine and predict the future, and make decisions based on that prediction.But often, we don’t know how to control it, and we collect these fears and fantasies and hold onto them tightly until they overrun our lives.A Fantasy is an idea that you like so much, you don’t want to let it go. It’s too tasty. Killing the fantasy means that you are faced with a more boring, and more dull reality, than the fantasy promises.The key thing to understand is that the fantasy is NOT real.That guy or girl is not this incredible person you imagined them to be. You probably barely know them.That date might have entirely sucked.That person, if you had gotten to know them, might have become the greatest source of misery in your life.To kill it, simply accept that the fantasy isn’t real at all. But it IS something that you find appealing, and you should maybe look to create that situation for yourself.If you fantasize about a wonderful romantic relationship, seek that. If you fantasize often about traveling the world, seek that.Use your fantasy like a compass to direct your attention. Glance at it once in awhile, and then head in the direction it points you towards. If you just stand still and stare all day at the compass, life won’t be very magical.
We broke up 10 years ago. Why can't I stop feeling something?
I'm not a crazy person. I am not still madly in love with this man. It's been 10 years. I do go weeks with out thinking of him, but he comes up in my head at least once a month. He moved out of state 3 years after we split up and even got married a year ago. I am engaged to be married. I have a happy and full life. I haven't spoken to him in 2 years. We do not talk. We're not facebook or myspace friends. We don't even run in the same crowd anymore. He wasn't very good to me emotionally. We were very in love, but we were very young. And he cheated on me and shattered my fragile 17 year old world (he was 21). At the time I thought we could make it work, but I realized I loved him more than he loved me, when he cheated again with the same girl. In my rational mind, I knew he was a coward for not telling me he wanted to end things. And he made it harder on me to leave him because he would insist he loved me and was stupid for being with someone else and would beg me not to go. And I knew he was too young and stupid for how much i loved him (and at 17 I was just a baby myself) so I left him. But i think maybe i genuinely believed that given time, he would see how good we were together, be truly sorry, and come back. After breaking up with the guy, I went on to college, and am successful. I love my fiancee. I want to be his wife and I love him now, but differently. I think, with less innocence. And I've reconciled myself to know that first love is intense and that we should learn from it, but that its never quite the same with anyone else. So why if someone even speaks about my ex, or if i accidently spot him in an old picture, why does it still feel like I could just walk back into his apartment and into his arms? Its like, I know he was bad for me, and if given the honest chance to have him back, I would still turn him down and be with my fiancee, but I can't get rid of my love for him. Mind you, this is after 10 years. I've had boyfriends and apartments and pets and jobs and more boyfriends and many things about me has changed. Why can't I stop feeling love for him?
Why can't I move on from trauma that happened over 3.5 years ago?
What you feel is totally natural. It hasn't really been that long since it happened. It would be nice if we could just "get over it" but it doesn't work that way. A situation, a voice, a photo can bring it all rushing back even if it happened years and years ago. I have been raped as a young girl - I was a year younger than you - so I know that you think you should be over it by now and find it surprising that you are not. But it doesn't surprise me. 31/2 years is a long time to you but it's not really. But it will get better as time goes on and you gain perspective. And yes, the best place to get that perspective is in therapy.Even though I was a tough, street smart kid, I never told anyone or talked it out with anyone. Too embarrassed, too ashamed. Too scared really. I can tell you this, I sure wish I had. It had a bad effect on me in ways that I couldn't see or understand at the time. So I ended up playing catch-up in a lot of ways. I paid a hell of a price. There are people, other women, who survived what has happened to you and are willing to help you.And yes, I wonder too about this guy being out and about. You are probably not his only victim. But right now you just need to keep yourself safe and sane. You want to grow up to be a strong, healthy woman and that means getting some help now. The number for The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 800-656-HOPE. There is someone there, right now, ready and willing to talk to you. Go ahead, check it out. You reached out on Quora, you can do this too. I'm here for you, and I wish you all the courage in the world but, baby, don't do it alone.