Slap some senses into my depressed friend?
She probably has clinical depression, but she hasn't been officialy examed for it. She's always complaining that she's tired emotionaly , has a headaches. she wants strong emotional support from her family and friends but doesnt get it. Im not into the hugs and saying mushy stuff. And she's not good in dealing with people*** Part of it is her class, since they're upperclassmens and she says they're very rude/racist against her. Her family started distanting fom each other when she was in little. BUT they encouage+allow her to have fun, UNLIKE mine!!! I dont know how to respond to her sometimes. my classmates are passed making fun of people, they're intelligent and bussy enough to act civil. Also, even though my family has always been distant from each other it doesnt bother me. I think fincacialy+emotionaly she's better off then me. sometimes it puzzles and ANGERS me! How can I help her realize all the things she has and how lucky she is? ***She told off one of our friends today
How do I talk some sense into my best friend?
Okay so I saw one of my friends have trouble with their sweater and I said, "Is that some kind of new dance move" just to be funny with him, and my best friend says "Why are you acting so immature. You're 13, just act like it". And I told him, "Relax, I'm being fun with him. I'm acting my age,". And then he told me, "People are saying you have a geeky reputation". And then I said "Who cares? Your your own voice, your your own body, your your own you,". And then he said, "Wow, so original". Then I said, "Because you follow the crowd, be your own voice,". And then he said, "Let's just drop it,". Honestly, every little thing I do he guards me down like a dog saying, "Oh, you better be careful, because some people think you're gay". And seriously, what's wrong with being gay? I'm not, but actually gay people are the best thing that happened to this planet. Those are the people that have to talk some sense into people that don't use their own. How do I talk some sense into him?
My friend is very superstitious. How can I talk some sense into her?
You can’t.Superstitious is at emotional level, not rationnal level.Let me tell you two real story, both in Africa.One was a french military guy on duty there, he was bored to see locals wearing talisman to protect them from bullet.One day, he asked one of them to give him his talisman, then put it on the ground and break it by shooting an iron bullet in it. What was the reaction of the guy ? Easy: “Fuck that sorcerer cheated on me, i will buy one from a better sorcerer”Second story, in another African country, the road accident rate was very high, cause every driver bought talisman they put in their car to protect them from accident. Therefore, they adopted very dangerous driving habit leading to higher death rate.Public office spent a lot of money on classical road/traffic accident, with heavy campaign on tv/radio newspaper. Without any luck and effect in lowering the accident rate.They asked a friend of mine who is a social psychologist if he can help. What did my friend do ?He asked to them: “What is the most scary symbol in your culture ?”Then they replied that everybody are scared by Owl, cause it is deeply related to death and infortune. So he suggested them to print big picture of Owl to display on the road.They tried this at one of the deadliest intersection of the country, and in 6 months the accident rate dropped by 60%.Drivers were so scared by the picture of the owl bringing them death, that they mostly started to drive safely around this intersection.So if you want to address and emotionnal based issue, your only solution is to use emotionnal tools. Not rationnal.
Should i talk some sense into my dad?
I would love to know how old you are. You have some spunk. But you are a child, and your dad's behavior towards your mom is exactly that, between them. I know it must hurt you deeply to see your mom crying and hurting so badly, but she will continue to be the victim as long as allows that behavior to continue. It would be very disrespectful to curse at your dad, raise your hands to him or any other display of aggressive behavior. That would kind of make you just like him right, and you already know that is not a good role model. You would not want your little brother seeing that from you. If there is a calm time that you could have a talk with your dad, a heart to heart where you feel safe to express how you feel and how you feel he is not setting a good example, then that might be OK but only if you are going to be safe. If there is never a calm time, then talk to your mom (you should do that anyway) and encourage her to stop being a victim and she can change things if she does not allow him to be a bully. I wish you and your family the very best of luck and please be safe.
How do you get a friend away from a narcissist?
Once you know the character of a narcissist, you can pretty much predict what the narcissist will do to your friend.The first thing is to let your friend see some of the irrational things that the narcissist does or makes your friend do. Next start predicting other things that the narcissist will do. Initially your friend will think that it is totally conincidental but with time they will realize you have some points. For example you can tell your friend how the narcissist will make a promise and later deny and make your friend look crazy. Or how the narcissist will gas light them, or become verbally abusive when questioned on obvious mistakes or questioned on double standards, or how the narcissist makes holidays horrible (think birthdays, christmas, thanksgiving etc)Remember your friend will not leave when she/he realizes you have a point, however your friend will be more keen to listen to your advice. As soon as you see this interest then carefully get a simple book or literature on NPD and study with your friend. Hopefully this will be an eye opener. The final decision to leave will come from your friend (not you). And remember leaving will happen very many times without success, finally they action it for real - usually when something totally absurd happens.Last but not least the narcissist will realize at one point that your friend is getting outside help. At that point the narc will influence your friend to kick you out of his/her life- saying or showing some evidence that you are a bad influence. At this point just be kind and tell your friend that you will always be there no matter what- and mean it cause bad things can be framed on you. This process will take time, I mean 6 months to years. But patience helps. For the sake of your friend hang on there. But take care not to be pulled into the mess (triangulation) by the narc.
When was a time you tried to talk some sense into a good buddy or friend of yours, yet they just wouldn't listen?
Wouldn't that be insulting? I mean like insulting to the good buddy… I think that I understand the question, but words and I have our problems.If it's a just a “good buddy” why even offer this gift of sense…. And this sense that you do offer, what is its value? You asked about the “last time”, right? Okay, I'll assume you have done this a few times.I'd be petrified! If I tried to talk sense into someone and they used this as advice then who's to blame for a backfire? Me, that's who.So what about a friend, a friend of nearly 40 years? I'm cursed, I mean blessed with one of them. I'd wish one for everyone. Anyway, every once in awhile we may ask eachother's opinions. If we are doing this, ya better believe that we are looking to make sense of something. However, whatever sense was made the responsibility belongs to whoever makes the decision.Thanks for pondering with Sweeney.And by the way, nobody listens, nobody cares.My sincerest thanks for your valuable time.
How should you cope when your closest friend just stops being your friend?
LearnIt’s very painful and excruciating sometimesand if this person was truely a close friend you will never forget themSo the best thing you can do is learn from this and try to be 100% critical of both them and yourselfFirst you should evaluate if this person was indeed a close friend of yours. Take a step back and think “was this person really a close friend?”Did you see each other often?Did you know each other’s family extensively?Did they consider you a close friend?Did they have any motives to manipulate you or take advantage of you by pretending to be your friend?Now if you have established if this person was a close friend, someone who would always have your back, but at the same time not be afraid to talk some sense into you if they thought what you were doing was wrong. Someone you could constantly rely on in times of need and never turned a blind eye if you were being harmed.Now if this person was indeed a close friend you have to take this relationship as a learning experienceDid you do anything to hurt them that you regret doing?Have you as a person changed since you became close friends?We as humans will never consciously blame ourselves for things it’s just our nature. You have to be truely logical and strong to take a step back and sometimes carry some responsibility on your end.But it might simply be that you guys grew apart but when your close friends generally unless something happens to sour the relationship it stays that way.All and all the best way and most efficient way to cope is to learn as much from the experience as possible and remember as long as you learned something your lost friendship was never wasted timeDon’t try to contact them if they have told you to leave them alone or say they don’t want to be friends anymore. And don’t demand an answer from them even though you feel entitled to one. Only try to talk to them if you know that you’ve made a terrible mistake and if that’s the case admit your fault without beating yourself up too hard. And don’t expect forgiveness if this is the case.After that you must simply move on and get on with your life, just don’t forget your experience and don’t try to find someone to replace them.Someone much older and wiser than me told me that relationships (both platonic and romantic) will almost always end Bitterly and rarely on a positive note so take this for what it’s worth
How do I knock some sense into my mother?
My lil' sister is 13. She goes on a lot of chatting websites and meets new people but my mom doesn't care because she's my moms favorite. My sister wears a LOT of makeup that makes her look like she's 16, so I know she probably doesn't tell people she's actually 13. Anyways, she met this guy on Myspace about a month ago (He's 20) and he's in the military. She gave him her phone number, so they're always talking to each other. I didn't know my mom knew how old the guy was, so I told her this guy is 20 (thinking my sister would get in so much trouble) but my mom just said "Oh, really? Maybe he'll date me *giggles*." I know my sister and the guy don't actually have a relationship but it's still a little strange. I walked in my sisters' room and she was webcamming with him. She had a short mini skirt and a tank top on and she was blowing him kisses and kind of dancing. I told my mom what she was doing and my mom came in her room and waved to him and he waved back.. Then my mom went back to what she was doing. I mean, don't get me wrong.. This guy is HOT and I'm sure it's exciting for my sister having some 'Hot military guy' talking to her but still.. Today, I came home and my mom was writing something down and I asked what she was doing and she said "I'm writing down the time and place... Tomorrow we're going to blah blah and meeting Michael (the 20-year-old guy my sister was talking to)... I'm so excited!" WTF, I'm only 15 but even I know it's dangerous to meet people you met online. What's wrong with my mom? Is she losing her mind? How do I knock sense into her?
What should I do if my possessive boyfriend doesn't want me to have any friends?
You can have any amount of friends you want. This is coming from a person who is in a relationship since the last five years. Nobody has the right to choose your friends or control your life choices in any way. If you really love this person, you should sit down and have a serious discussion with him. I have found that it helps if there is someone present to negotiate, but that someone MUST be a person THAT BOTH OF YOU trust completely. If he does not want to understand the facts and refuses to respect your personal freedom, then you can expect bigger problems in the future including but not limited to complete domination of your life.If even once you feel that you and your choices are not getting enough respect, walk away before it causing more damage to your mental state.