How do you avoid letting a relationship become "boring"?
Bride2 be I commend you for wanting a change and looking for ways to spice up the hum drum.. And just so you know this is normal and many long term relationships fall into this rut.. so you say its not the activities you do they are fine. Well thats good couples that play together normally have a stronger bond than those who don't... so the area of opporunity here is love making. WOW your in luck lots of fun things to do. I will share a few.. but you can expand on them with your imagination and what you and your guy likes. Keep in mind too you can go to the library and research the topic. YOu'd do the same if you were buying a car or a house or vacation right. So take this upon you as a mission you want to fix. hehe. So have you thought of having your fiance pick you up at a hotel in a bar.. act like your coming in for a drink and he has to charm and woo you a bit. dont' make it so easy for him right off the bat and book a hotel room. ( its out of the house and it has the hint of being naughty) not routine you know. let him pick you up like he's single out at a bar You can also have date night. Pick something different each time that perks your and his interest. of course you can spice it up in the bedroom. You can role play or wear costumes.. depends on how kinky or open you want to be.. the costume shops a great place to pick up things or the adult sex shop. Just htink you'd be bored cooking the same dinner each night right. So you'd change it up a bit so should you in the bedroom If you live in a nice part of the country where its warm you can pack a pic nic and go for a hike or nice drive up the mountains or to the lake or ocean he thinks he's having a pic nic but you'll have other suprises for him .. The thing is be spontanous don't be predictable. Keep things fresh and exciting hun. Same goes for him. he may not take the lead at first but if he see's you mixing things up enough he'll get the odd suprise in for you too. All the best you will succeed you know why? cause you care and your thinking ahead you don't want it to stay mundained. Go get em girl grawlllllllllllll... Don't forget go the library lots of things im sure you can find.
When is it better to let something go instead of retaliating?
This is a tough question. Anger over a perceived misdeed to you may cause you to want revenge. Sometimes, you can and will retaliate. It may be righting a wrong or something of that nature.However, that being said, letting this situation eat at you and fester inside is not worth the damage that it does to your psyche and well-being. If it means you stand up for yourself or your beliefs, then do it and move on. If it’s nothing you can control, find a way to move on.You have nothing to gain when you brood about something you cannot change. Forgiveness is one solution, but sometimes it’s unrealistic. Time will blur the hurt if you find a way to release the negative energy you built up over this occurrence. Think of positive things instead so you can heal that hurt in your heart. Then, you will be able to move on.
Is there any reason why, despite repeated occurrences that you should "forgive and forget"? I am deliberately leaving the details out of the question.
There is wisdom in all the responses. Although often quoted as biblical, the phrase, “forgive and forget” is not found in the Bible. If by “forgive and forget” you mean, “I am choosing to forgive the offender, to remove the power that event has over me and move on with my life,” I can speak from personal experience. This is a wise course of action and self-awareness. As quoted from Larry McMurtry’s Lonesome Dove: “Yesterday's gone on down the river and you can't get it back.”That’s the healthy part of “forget”, as in re-living painful things over and over again will only give them power in the present. If something illegal or immoral occurred, it is healthy to have that person face the consequences of their actions. I believe, as much as possible, we should forget what is behind and strive forward to what is ahead. “ ‘But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead’ (Philippians 3:13).”Forgiveness is a decision of the will. The offender may not deserve forgiveness and may never change, but that doesn’t negate the wisdom of living in a, “forgiving spirit”. “ ‘But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you’ (Matthew 5:44).” Not because they have shown kindness or mercy, but because you can choose not to be at effect of their cruelty. Forgiveness frees the forgiver from the bond of the offender. It is something for self-preservation—it frees you from the ongoing agony of their wrongs.In my life, I have rarely experienced those who were forgiven to come to any awareness of their impact. Most were truly unaware and unrepentant of my perceived wronging. Yes, they could have a change of heart and change their way, even ask for forgiveness.However, changing hearts is way above my pay grade. Let’s just say, that until an offender has a true, literally “supernatural” heart change, it is only wise to stay away from that person. They are not trustworthy. You can do better than that.
What good is prayer if it's results are indistinguishable from chance?
I've been told god answers prayers with one of three things: yes, no, and later. Meaning that if i pray that my friend will beat cancer the outcome will either be A) he doesn't beat it and dies (no), B) He remits and starts getting better over the next few days/weeks (Yes), C) His diagnosis remains for a year or more before he remits. Prayer or no prayer any one of these outcomes is possible. If you can't causally link the prayer to any result because the results are indistinguishable from chance occurrence then what the heck good is it?
My mom won't let me go to the dance...!?
Its my last 8th grade dance! She wouldn't let me go because I didn't bring my sweater home! Isn't that crazy! But for the 8th grade dance, everybody's going. The girls wear a pretty dress and the boys wear a tux. what should i do to get my mom to let me go to the dance? Please and Thank you! ♥
My boyfriend's afraid I'm going to leave him?
(We're both 24). This past Saturday my boyfriend and I were drinking and he ended up getting a little drunk. Which is an extremely rare occurrence because he usually only has one or two drinks. So this was pretty much the first time I've ever seen him drunk. He poured his heart out to me like I've never seen and I was shocked. We've been together for awhile and he's never been so open about his feelings for me. He admitted to me that he was afraid that I might find a "better guy" some day and dump him. I asked why he thought that and he said because "I'm not that good looking of a guy." I was like wtf? He's HANDSOME! I couldn't believe what I was hearing because when he's sober he's so confident and you would never guess he thought that way. Anyway.. the next day he didn't remember telling me those things and now he's embarrassed. How do I tell him it's ok to tell me how he's feeling? How should I talk to him about this? He's beyond embarrassed.
If you cheat on someone you love, should you let them go when they are trying to stay when you can see how much they are hurting, and you know that they deserve better? I want to do what is truly right for him no matter what that means for me.
Honestly, making things truly right for you partner starts from not assuming what is best for him. After you cheated on your partner, he could just walk away, but he decided not to. He chose to stick around and he is trying to make things working again. He clearly shows you that he wants give this relationship another chance, so what is truly right is to respect his choices.Honestly, usually all the “knowing they deserve better part” is just justification you provide to yourself to go away from difficult situation. Staying with him is difficult because it reminds you of your misdeed. It is twice as difficult because he is ready to accept and forgive you, while you may not be ready to forgive yourself. Finally, it is difficult to rebuild trust and intimacy after such occurrence. It is much easier to just walk away, and to avoid feeling bad you soothe yourself that it is for him, not you. But in the end it is for you.Nobody can and should tell you to stay in the relationship you don’t want. It is your decision - to take the hard path and try to pick the shards back together or to take the easy path and opt out. But if you choose the easy path, at least be honest why are you doing that.
Perfectionism that causes procrastination?
If you analyze a procrastinator, they put things off because they know they can do them easily and quickly, but are lazy and wait to the last second. When they do get to the chore or project or work, hopefully not past the dead line, although is a fairly common occurrence, it nearly perfect or brilliant. Some people work better putting things off because they do work better under a very close time constraint. But some think that the most procrastinating comes from people who are terrified to fail. I have never met this type. I have met perfectionists who are just like you. They take overly long time to do the details just right. The job is thoroughly done and no shortcuts are tolerated. The person i knew would undo someone else's "sloppy" work, and redo it the "right" way. They often got approached about the time they spent on one assignment. That seems to be the problem with perfectionists. They take too long to do the job right. Its not procrastination, its elongation! I love your question, where you ask how you can more perfectly control your perfectionism. I will tell you. Learn to let go of the little stuff. Mess up the towels in your towel closet, let things get messed up. Leave your mug out on the counter all night. Make a meal, put it away and leave the dirty dishes overnight. JUST let go.
How do people let go of bad past events when those bad past events keeps affecting their future (in a negative way)?
“Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future.”– Dale TurnerThe past, positive or negative, cannot be changed.What’s done is done.However, you can change the meaning which you give those occurrences.Even though your struggles were difficult and challenging, you can alter the significance of your past traumatic events.You can allow them to catalyze your life for the better.Personally, I had to go through difficult obstacles such as improving my health.After graduating from college, I focused all my time on building my career. Hence, I didn’t prioritize my health, relationships, and personal growth.After two short years, I had gained twenty pounds of fat. Often times, I felt sluggish and lethargic. In addition, I hated the way I looked.Growing up, I played sports and was athletic and fit. But all that changed when I sacrificed my life for the sake of chasing money.One night, I had enough.I came to the realization that my health is my true indication of wealth. My body is worth more than any amount of money in the world.When I hit rock bottom, I used that spark to make a lasting lifestyle change.Those dark times helped me propel into action and start taking better care of my health. Without those series of traumatic events, I wouldn’t become the strong and healthy person I am today.How you choose to view your past events is entirely up to you.You can either let them:1. Empower youOr2. Defeat youThe choice is entirely up to you.I hope this helps.For more information on learning from your past and becoming a better man as a whole, please visit Purpose Driven Mastery - Empowering Men to Live Purposefully