How do I deal with strict Asian parents?
When we’re young and naive, we tend to demonize or worship our parents. They’re the center of our world. If you do this, you can fall prey to falling to the opposite extreme of a behavior to “be nothing like my father and mother.” The issue is that extremes are often two sides of a coin to the same dysfunction.Having no emotion and all logic because your father had anger management issues is just another disservice to your child. Dr. Robert Glover’s book, No More Mr. Nice Guy, breaks this down well.In reality, like most people or objects, there’s good and bad parts. We live in a world of grey.Avoid getting overtaken by confirmation bias, where you only look for what you want to see. If you catch yourself with a growing sense of hatred for someone or even your culture, stop. Identify the good you’re forgetting.Here are some more action steps you can take right now to think more positively and move towards a brighter future:1. Surround yourself with successIt’s simple yet so effective. I still have negative thoughts that clearly came from a specific person I hung around years ago. How do I know? Because he was the only one who thought in such a way. As you can see, who you surround yourself with can influence how you think for years to come.2. Commit to a positive attitude NOWSome of us are truly born with a higher genetic inclination to be negative. Now that you realize it, you can choose to have a positive attitude and stomp out negative thoughts as soon as you notice them.3. Change your attitudeSay phrases like this at least 10 times a day: “I am an awesome, positive individual.” and “I am in control of my destiny and I decide where I am headed.”I found that saying these phrases while you look at yourself (through the eyes) in a mirror helps, especially with self-esteem boosting affirmations.4. Therapy is goldenGet some therapy. Group therapy is an affordable alternative.
How do you get your Asian parents to be less strict?
Well, my parents became less strict when my dad started to get sick from a heart condition and it gradually got worse. But, I guess you can't wish for one of your parents to get sick all of a sudden. My parents let me walk home to and from school and I'm like 15 minutes away from the middle and high school I went to. Maybe the neighborhood you live in is dangerous and that's why they won't allow you to walk to school on your own. Who knows. Did you ever ask them why they do the things that they do? And give them a reason to let go of some of the control they have over you? Maybe you should tell them that sheltering you isn't going to make you a good student when you go to college and you are overwhelmed with the social circle you have to encounter (eventually). You should also tell them getting straight A's isn't going to guarantee you a good college if you are not able to do any extracurricular activities such as those school field trips. I mean, you should ask them what will happen when you are required to have an extracurricular activity in your school? Are they going still going to say no even if its required but its only an extracurricular activity? If they are doing all this to get you to college, you've got to tell them to lay off sheltering you so much, otherwise you won't be able to handle college independently.
Strict Asian parents won't let me move out?
As much as you love your parents I think you have to realize that it is your life, not theirs. Many families go through something similar to what's happening now, and if your parents really love you (which I'm sure they do) they will eventually come around and accept you. Don't follow the path your parents' lay out for you, follow the path that will make you happy. At the end of the day, if you are not happy with your life, what's the point? You'll be the only one living your life, not your parents. Remember, our time on earth is limited. You should use it wisely. You just have to make the best of a bad situation, and follow your heart. If you are financially able and you believe you are ready, sit down and talk to your parents about it. If you know they will not hear you out, try writing a letter explaining your side in a reasonable and well-thought out way. Let them know that you are sorry that you have differing views, and that you aren't doing this to shame them or hurt them--you are simply trying to do what makes you happy. Let them know you still want them to be a part of your life, but that you come from a different age, and that you were not raised as they were. No matter what you say, they will be upset for a while, but eventually, as I said before, they will get over it and move on with their lives. You have to move on with yours. Worry about making yourself proud, not making them proud. Sometimes growing up inevitably hurts the ones you love. All parents and children go through it at some point.
How do I convince my STRICT Asian parents to let me drive to a party by myself?
1. Tell your parents you need to have a talk with them. Ask them when they can have the talk. (This will give everyone some time to hopefully be calm and ready). Perhaps you can talk while having some tea. 2. During your conversation, A. Tell them it's about their protectiveness or overprotectiveness. B. Start with the positives. For example, you can tell them you appreciate their concern for your well-being. C. Describe their actions and how you feel. For example, tell them what you said earlier, that you hate waiting for them, getting constant phone calls from them telling me they're coming in 40 min, 30 min, 20 min 5 min. It ruins your time when you're out somewhere. That you just want to be able to go somewhere & leave a place on your own without anyone waiting with you. Tell them that not being able to do this makes you feel pretty childish. (You are in college, so I presume you are of legal age? If so, then tell you're parents that you are old enough and that they should be treating you age-appropriately). D. Give them the choice to either accept your requests or not. Tell them the consequences for both choices. For example, if they accept, then it'll make you more independent, responsible, and happier. If they don't, then it will make you more dependent, it won't give you the chance to exercise responsibility, that you won't be happy at all, and that you will become more distant from them as time goes on, i.e. their overprotectiveness will drive you away from them. E. Follow through with what you said and meant. I hope this helps.
How do I deal with Strict Filipino/Asian parents?
I'm a 17 year old teenage girl. I'm Filipino. I want more freedom to do what I please, like going to the mall and hanging out with friends. Or go to concerts or just even go to the park with my best friends or go out to the strip (i live in vegas) with my boyfriend. How can I do that when they can't even trust me? My life is just school and home. I get good grades, like 6 A's and 2 B's. I am respectful to them, I do what I am told, and I even do things around the house without getting told! All I do is just sit around the house, do homework, and watch TV. They complain about me being fat, why can't they let me go out and just get active? Can't even do that. I'm on Facebook on my laptop and then they walk in and freak out that I'm looking at porn! I'm not! They're in so much denial it's annoying as heck! My boyfriend has a job, he has a car, and he goes to school. That's what they want in a guy that I would be with but how can they know if they won't let me bring him home without him getting shot in the crotch by my over-protective father. My boyfriend doesn't do drugs or he doesn't want to have sex until marriage! He's perfect! They think I'll get pregnant, or get raped. I'm not stupid enough to go and get pregnant. My boyfriend thinks that's rediculous, so it wouldn't happen anyways. I just want their trust so they know I don't have to keep sneaking around with him and just calling him my "friend." Or even with just friends. I get picked on sometimes and I've even lost a couple friends because "we don't hang out anymore." I try to talk to my mom, but she yells and tells me to talk to my dad. I try to but I end up getting yelled at. I just sit in my room crying and alone because I can't live my own teenage life. What can I do?
How do you get your strict Asian parents who oppose you of having a phone to buy you a new phone?
Why do you need a new phone? What could a new phone do what your old one is not sufficiently able to? How would this have a negatve influence on your life?If your parents are not against you having a phone on principle basis, you have to provide reasons to get you a phone (or at least to give you some financial aid). Please be aware that most parents successfully grew up without a smartphone, so you needing one because everyone has one (and of cause the newest one) might not be the best strategy.In the case of a principle rejection, things are a lot harder since you first have to make them see the necessity for such a thing. You may argue along the lines of safety, being able to be contacted and not hogging the phone in your house, but again, life without smartphone or even a simple cell phone was perfectly possible 20 years ago.Why do your parents have to buy it anyway? Generally parents are more inclined to support your wishes if you show determination and start earning at least some money for it yourself. Maybe you can split the cost or something like this?
How do I tell my strict Asian parents I’m moving in with my white boyfriend at 18? I’m not naive.
They just want you to be successful in your adult life. That means going to college, pursuing a degree that will reward you with gainful employment upon graduation. Don't sell yourself short by rebelling against their wishes. Your boyfriend can be your boyfriend, but he should not get between you and your education. Being poor because you decided to follow your heart sucks. Stay with your parents as they finance your education, and when you have completed your degree and landed that dream job, you can then call the shots over what you will do with your money and your life.