How do I get over the fear of my parents dying?
Thanks for the A2A!I can totally relate to this as I've spent a lot of time crying over this as a kid - it used to freak me out to think I'll be all alone in this world one day as I don't have siblings.Like most of the answers have already mentioned, there is nothing much that we can do about it other than accepting the fact. Remember that you are not alone, we all will lose our parents some day. I've seen my parents losing theirs - it hurts a lot but they did cope up with the loss. One has to move on in life, there are other responsibilities to be fulfilled as there are others dependent on your existence. Here are some things you can do when your mind is flooded with such thoughts:Value their presence at the moment. Avoid thinking of the future, nobody has seen it. Give them lots of love today so that you have no regrets tomorrow. Listen to what they have to say, give them a hug!Try meditation or reading some of the ancient scriptures - most of the religions talk about detachment. It is definitely easier to preach than to practice but reading such things brings (temporary) solace to mind. Take care of their health - see to it that they are leading a healthy lifestyle. Help them in getting rid of bad habits, if they have any. That way, you'll get to keep them with you a little longer.Resolve conflicts with them as soon as possible. There will be differences of opinion but wasting time sulking over them or not resolving them due to ego-related issues is foolishness. Our time is limited, you don't want to waste it by indulging in meaningless activities. Remember that wonderful vacation you had with them or the perfect birthday party they threw on your first birthday and try to recreate the magic now so that you can hang on to these lovely memories later on.As a child, remain empathetic towards the changes going on in your parents’ lives as they age. As hard as it is for us to face the realities of aging, it’s a process our parents are living with every day.Life events such as illness, death of friends and loved ones can take a heavy toll on a person’s well-being. Make sure they’re feeling okay.Be positive and strong - they taught you that, don't let it go down the drain!" Goodbyes make you think. They make you realize what you've had, what you lost and what you took for granted. So appreciate what you have before it becomes what you had. "
Should a child fear his parents?
Unhealthy. It is important to have a healthy respect for them. And to know that there will be consequences for misbehavior. But consistency like that doesn't create fear. One will know the boundaries and know that there is nothing to fear if they are obeyed and know that even though disobedience has negative consequences, those consequences are well understood. It is uncertainly and inconsistency that produces fear. EDIT In addition to distinguishing between fear and respect, I believe it is also important to distinguish between fearing a punishment and fearing the parents who might administer it. Fearing consequences and fearing people are different things.
Fear and Respect of a parent what do you think?
Fear and respect ARE two totally different things, although sometimes the word "fear" can be used to mean being reverent, as opposed to meaning being afraid. In any case, this is what I believe about fear and respect: Being respectful and loving to my children caused them to be respectful and loving to me. My children do not fear me because I do not re-act to my anger and frustration towards them. Sure, I am human. I DO get angry and frustrated sometimes. But I do not act out because of it. My children do not see me yell, hit, spank, slam things around, stomp or any other 'tantrum's behavior that is cause by anger and frustration. I have never 'lost control' and did something harmful to them because I was angry at them so they do not fear me doing something harmful to them .Any punishments (and in our house that does include a spanking sometimes) has never been because of my (or my husband's) anger or frustration. It has always been a direct result of their misbehavior, so my children do not confuse punishment with 'mom's temper'. They respect me because I am respectful of them. If their bedroom door is shut, I knock, if they are on the phone, I am quiet, if they want to speak, I listen. If I make a mistake, I apologize. They see me allow the other driver to come on over into my lane without getting upset. They watch me speak to other people with respect . All of these things (and more) have caused my children to see that I am a person who treats other's with respect and therefore they treat me with respect. Another wonderful thing about all of this is that they treat other people with respect too. Children do not have to fear a parent just because he/she uses discipline and sets limits. Respect comes from a mutual understanding of each other's personal value...fear comes from abuse and hatefulness.
Do children inherit the fear of their parents?
"The sins of the father are carried unto the son, even unto the 7th generation". This is because ego teaches ego! What ever error we perceive or lack we project we teach our children & they teach their children until one is born into the family who finally breaks that cycle. They are able to break that cycle because they carry with them lessons from previous experiences & are able to refrain from the "family programming". My Mother was an abuser who was abused as was her mother & so forth. My mother abused because it was what she learned to do from the example her mother & grandmother set. But I did not abuse my children. With my family programming the cycle stopped with me & my children. Children do not inherit their parents fear, but they are taught what to fear everyday by the example of their parents. Everything we do in every way every day Teaches everyone around us & is a testimony to what we truly believe beyond all intellectual rhetoric. Many Blessings!
My parents made me scared of the world?
I'm 17, turning 18 in a month. I will be finishing my senior year in June. I want to move to New york for a school that I want to go to. But I'm scared. My parents made me fear the outside world. I have been put in homeschool all 4 years of high school because my mom didnt want me going to public school, and overtime I became anti social. I'm just scared of the world. She pushed thoughts into my head that there are no good people out there, that all men want is to rape you, that all black people should be avoided etc. All I think when I go out now is "what if someone kidnaps me" "what if I get lost" etc. I know that I need to be cautious in life, but not like this. I'm planning on getting therapy to help this, but won't be doing it until I actually leave since my mom will pry. I just don't know how I am going to overcome my fear of the world to get on the plane to New york. I need to overcome the fear until I can get away from them. Can someone help? Thanks to anyone who can.
How do I convince my parents to let me wear Hijab?
I'm muslim, born Muslim, always have been...my whole family is too, of course. The thing is, I've been wanting Hijab for a couple years now. I made it known last summer, and it didn't go well at all. My parents are happy that I want to do this and everything, but they won't let me, because they are paranoid of people here. (being the US). I know thinking about it is good, but it doesn't replace actually doing it. I'd never have the courage to go behind my parent's back. They would make me take it off--it's not that they're bad Muslims, they just can't deal with it. My mom fears that my dad will get bad things at work if I wear it, and she says she would never go out with me. I feel it is not fair, shouldn't you be getting support from your family? I shouldn't feel like they're holding me back...yet I have absolutely no Hijabs/scarves, no hijab stores around, all my family is far away. I've talked to my parents numerous times, assertively, and nicely. Told them it's required, that I pray 5 times a day! They want me to perfect everything and they say hijab is a "small" thing compared to other things. I think not. I don't know what to do, I'm 14 and I have to start! I'm ready for this, I know the effects of it, but I can deal with it! How do I convince them WITHOUT going behind their backs? Thanks! DO NOT ANSWER IF YOU HAVE NO GOOD ADVICE!
As a parent, would you rather your child respect you or fear you?
It’s always been easier to make people fear of you than loving you. Either mentally, verbally or physically, fear could easily being triggered when you are in position of coercive power.Respect is earned and that’ll make the job as a parent more challenging and feels worth it, I think. I don’t have a child, so I don’t really want to sound so righteous. Personally, of course I want and would be very honored to be respected by my children. After all, it is very understandable if you want to feel legitimized; to be seen and served as a role model and someone they can rely upon to. Not for all people, maybe, but mostly would like to have the idea.I was scared by my father in my early childhood days because he used to be physically abusive then. I remember, that I would be pinched or hit harshly with any tools he could find (mostly his belt or clothes hanger, lol) if I was being handy. Even when I’m not being naughty, he was always in bad mood 24/7. I feared him. I never really know what kind of stress or problem he had at that time. I was 4 to 5 years old, after all. And as a clueless kid, I hated him for this.But after I went to elementary school, he became way more nicer, calmer and not as abusive as he was. He started to pamper me with books/toys randomly, spoke very nicely to me and did everything I asked him to, such as drawing for me (he’s a good illustrator).I started to respect and loving him after that, because I could finally see him as a ‘normal’, approachable and functioning human I could really talk to. I also started to take sides on my parents; he became the nice, favorable parent I could rely upon to.I don’t want to be a non-approachable monster for my children. I don’t want to because I know what it feels like to fear someone that supposed to be the ones that hold you with love. It sucked big time and most likely would affecting your children mentally, physically and verbally as they grow up. I don’t want to raise my children to be a bitter, depressed and repressed adult because of my foul way of parenting.And at the end, you just want to be and do good. Because by being good, you serve as an example. And by being bad, you serve as a warning.