Can narcissists ever love anyone and ever be truly happy?
No to both in any meaningful way. An explanation follows.Narcissists have been emotionally abused/traumatized/neglected at a very young age, causing their emotional development to be stunted at the age of the trauma. They manifest a false self to appeal to their primary caregiver who neglected them hoping “maybe Mommy will love me now.”The idealized false self must be propped up at all costs. The narcissist cannot bear the pain of ripping the scab open to expose the wound of the real self which was rejected by the primary caregiver.The false self must be propped up. Whenever the narcissist hears “You're such a beautiful person!” (or whatever comprises the particular false self) the false self receives a boost.The false self is balanced precariously. There is a part of the narcissist that knows the truth of the real self, with its attendant shame and rejection, which can never, ever be encountered.The reality of the narcissist is dominated by the idealized false self.To truly love involves putting the interests of another ahead of your own. Narcissists did not develop far enough to obtain that ability. They can feel love, but it’s the love of a damaged young child, a distorted, immature love, centered on how the loved one satisfies their needs.In regards to happiness, narcissists are all about getting their needs met, about manipulating others to get what they want. This is an absolute disaster as far as obtaining true happiness is concerned. It’s akin to someone sleeping with as many people as possible to obtain conquests.There can be some fleeting moments of happiness, especially after getting some desired thing, but the novelty wears off, and really sets in.Narcissists are often despised by those who know them well. They are unable to either give or experience adult love. They live for themselves. These are not the components that lead to happiness.
How to reconcile the acknowledgement of your own insignificance yet still love and care and feel deeply about these things?
at times one could consider me a nihilist. Rationally, even intuitively, I understand my own insignificance;the cosmos bursting w/matter & energy from the smallest particles to the largest bodies of mass- finitude is all thats truly fathomable & yet there exists infinity between 0 and 1; even as I write this i query the distinction b/t matter & energy. I know nothing this is a consistent theme in my life. my brain is simply matter (debatable if anything is 'simply matter') & the thoughts produced from it are similarly neural impulses which can be described & understood & controlled byway of magnets, medicine, etc. I'm just flesh and blood and a glob of goop under a skull-its worse than feeling simply a mind/body duality. I read about quantum mechanics & end up with a pretty detailed understanding of the beef b/t bohr and Einstein; all the while desperately wanting to believe in truth yet being unable to deny the empirical evidence that makes it clear that reality (truth) is not absolute yet simply a series of probabilities. reality is unaccessible to me. at the same time, i'm obsessed with injustice. I cry all the time about suffering in the world. I read nonstop. I crave meaning through subduing others suffering. I love so deeply. I empathize more profoundly than anyone i know. I ******* care about humanity. i care so much my heart could burst. I don't know anymore how to love if i understand the physiology of my mind and the chaotic indifference of the cosmos
I hate society; I don't want to live in it anymore - what are my options?
I hate society... I hate how we, useless humans, follow everyone else and do exactly like society tells us to do? We spend the only thing we have (our existence) by following other people's rules and paths. It makes me sick. I feel so weak, small, governed and jailed. I am 20 YOA, a full time degree student, a part-time model and a semi-professional football player and have a beautiful girlfriend. I have everything that others would kill for.... yet when I look at the bigger picture, my life is completely useless. I am just like every other human on earth; a follower of society, rules and laws. David Icke once said (something like) 'We, humans, laugh at other sheep because they are so stupid that they just follow one-another in a herd. Yet at least the sheep have a sheep keeper to follow. Us humans just follow each other and are the the worst for following the person in-front' I have recently watched 'Into the Wild' (reccommend watching it). The man gives the fingers to society and really lives life - but dies a couple years later eathing a dealy berry in the wilderness. It's a true story for people who don't know. People will watch the movie and think the guy is a total idiot, but that guy has lived and seen more than anyone watching it will ever see. So, i'm not saying I want to quit everything and live in the wilderness and die of deadly berries... but I genuinely think i'll kill myself within a few years if nothing changes.... What can I do to be set FREE?