How do I stop my puppies developing aggression?
His aggressive behavior could be a result of physical pain. What kind of medication were you giving him and how long was he supposed to be on it? With treatment, kennel cough is usually very easily cured, but if left untreated, he could develop pneumonia or tracheal collapse, which is a very serious condition - http://www.marvistavet.com/html/tracheal... A dog that is frightened or hurt will often display aggression as a defense mechanism, not because he feels animosity towards you. You also have to be careful about "asserting dominance" over him because in most cases, people who try to discipline their dogs using physical aggression end up only amplifying their dog's aggression, which often leads to the injury of the owner, the dog, or both. There was a really interesting study done by UPenn that discusses why this happens - http://www.upenn.edu/pennnews/article.ph... Another scenario is that he just wasn't properly socialized in his early life, and if that's the case, you'll have to work with him a lot to help him overcome those issues. The best thing to do is to take him to a vet who can either tell you if there are complications with his kennel cough or rule out pain and discomfort as the reason for his aggression. Once you figure out the cause of his sudden aggressive behavior, you'll then be able to know how to resolve it. Whatever you do, DON'T try to use Dog Whisperer methods to "break him" of his bad habits by using physical force against him. That will only make the situation worse. Your dog is not trying to stage a coup against you. He is most likely just acting out due to physical discomfort and is unable to communicate that to you. Dogs need discipline, structure, and confident leadership - but using aggressive methods to force them into submission without even understanding the cause of the problem is definitely NOT the way to do it. It'll only put a strain in your relationship with him and make him lose trust in you, and dogs will never accept a leader that they can't trust.
Do you love your nieces and nephews?
My niece is my whole world, as my husband and I don't have children of our own yet. But it's totally okay and understandable that some people don't feel the same way about their nieces and nephews.My little biscuit, as I call her, is the greatest kid I've ever met. I am biased, though, as she is my oldest sister’s little one, and my oldest sister is my favorite sister. But I've also met a lot of kids and been responsible for a lot of kids, so I'm not too biased, I don't think.My niece is usually not a pain like most toddler and preschool kids are believed and appear to be, she is such a well-rounded little human, with a great personality, and she is a joy to be around. She's adorable, she's really funny, and she's extremely intelligent. It's kinda spooky how smart she is.I could, and frequently do, gush about this little biscuit all day, and to anyone who will listen. I never pass up a chance to talk about her, it's like I'm an overly proud parent… But I'm just her aunt. I visit my family in Florida every spring, though it's mostly to spend time with her. I have severe depression and anxiety, but she makes it go away when I'm there… I mean, look at that little gremlin smile! Her innocence and happiness are infectious, and it's refreshing to be around someone who hasn't become cynical yet. I hope she never does.So, yeah, I love my niece. Very much.Above picture is from my most recent trip to visit my family, March 2016.
Would you rather be adopted and have a "better life" or stay with one biological parent even if times are tough?
As a child of adoption, I can tell you that I am so grateful that I was given up for adoption. My birth mother carried me out of the hospital and handed me to my parents at 4 days old. I didn't grow up rich, but we certainly had every need met. I was able to participate in activities my whole life. I was raised in church and given love always and discipline when needed. My parents raised 4 children : 2 natural and 2 adopted. I knew I was loved every day.When I turned 16, I told my parents that I wanted to find my birth parents. They were supportive and helped me in every way possible. It took me 11 years to find my birth mother. She was blown away that I wanted to meet her. A couple of year later, I met her. It was a little awkward but we connected. She invited me to Florida to visit with her, her husband, and my 2 half brothers. I went to Florida and she spent the whole time working every day and smoking pot every night. One of my brothers was in jail because he had gotten caught selling drugs. Because she didn't care to spend time with me after I drove all the way there, I felt rejected again and it broke my heart.What I learned is that while she gave me life (for which I will be eternally grateful), my parents- my REAL parents- loved me unconditionally. They loved me when I was rude, ungrateful, and even when I questioned that love. They kept on loving me. You know why? Because they chose to love me. They chose to bring me home. While they didn't give me life, they gave me A LIFE and they made my life happy.So to answer your question, personally I'd rather be adopted and be happy. I'd rather be loved and raised with rules and boundaries than be allowed to do whatever I want with no guidance. I'd rather be adopted 50 times by someone who loves me than raised by someone incapable of loving me the way a child should be loved.
My niece and nephew are in a bad home, what can i do?
my brother and his ex-girlfriend had a daughter and a son a few years ago. the kids are with the mother, but they occasionally come over to our place if the mother lets them. my brother's currently working abroad as a foreign overseas worker trying to make a living to support them. in the country he works in he currently has a wife and child. the mother doesn't take care of her kids. every time they visit, they always smell bad and they're so thin. the daughter tells us how all she does is play all day and her mother is usually out. her mother never helps her with homework and barely takes care of her. her mother doesn't feed her properly either and my niece tells stories how she has to search the house and make her own food. she's 6 years old. her younger brother's deaf. they don't take him to therapies or special classes and they don't make him wear his hearing aid. he's 4 years old. the mother hates it when he's at our place and she tries as much as possible to keep him away from us, which is because of her grudge against my brother. his behavior has gotten wilder. he throws horrible tantrums all the time. the girl on the other hand always makes a fuss on how she doesn't want to visit us or be with us at all. we take very good care of them though, giving them proper attention. i think that they're being brainwashed by their mother so that they won't want to be with us, or that they just feel lonely without their father around. recently the mother has told us that she doesn't want us to have anything to do with their lives. she wants to keep us far away from the kids. she's told us that her daughter doesn't want to be with us either. everyone, my father and siblings, have agreed, saying that they don't want to have anything to do with two troublesome kids anymore, and that they don't care about them anymore because they have a "nicer, friendlier, grandson" from my brother's wife. even my brother has agreed that if they kids decide to stay with the mother, he'll stop caring too. i know better though. those kids aren't being taken care of at their mother's place. i'm scared that they'll be neglected and develop into something horrible as they grow older if they stay with the mother, but i don't know what to do since the daughter says she doesn't want to visit us and everyone else is just going along with it.
Why does everyone say parenting is hard?
I love being a dad! But all I read everywhere is new parenting styles, don't discipline, do discipline, baby blues. Its sad! I have loved being a dad to a 10 and 6 year old girls (their mama passed giving birth to my youngest). I gotta say that this stuff is EASY! Honestly everyone I know or read about is always complaining about their kids. I wake up early just to make some gormet breakfast for them. And all I really do is take a bit of liberal parenting, a dash of conservative, mix in 4 heaping helpings of love and my life is great. And they aren't wild and crazy, or abused and fearful. They are great! They get up and help each other get ready for school while I make daddys secret pancakes, we go to school and they take turns deciding the music. They perform well at school and get a long with others. After school my oldest gets snacks for her and her sister while I check school work. After that they do homework and I go back and forth helping them out (they never really need it but I want to be involved) dinner is next and they play till dark. Bed and stories and then sleep. Did anyone think they would freak if that was their day? I mean come on! And don't tell me if I think parenting is easy then I'm doing it wrong...I know I'm doing a great job. Seriously I'm raising two girls on my own and my oldest is...developing. and having.....lady problems. Yeah I had to call mom on that last one. But all in all why does everyone complain about parenting? This stuff is easy.
How do I handle my nine year old niece? She has RAD, BPD, and ODD? What is it like to have a child like this?
Wow, that’s an alphabet of issues. I think the most important label is RAD, if she has attachment problems lots of symptoms will follow.This girl may not trust anything, have some empathy for that. Keep activities routine and low key. Be very kind even when she’s “behaving badly” she may be testing you but punishment will make her angry and her behaviour will get worse, talk things through very calmly.This girl is an individual with her own talents, not a bunch of symptoms so remember that and quietly notice the positive but never go over the top with praise, she may not think it’s genuine.Good luck, this child needs love and predictably.
What should I do about my 12 year old niece smoking pot!?
I just found out that my 12 year old niece has experimented with pot (she says 3 times) since she was 11. My sister and her husband, (who has his marijuana card), grounded her for her Spring Break, and that is about it. My niece is allowed to do whatever she pleases. She can stay up until 4a.m., she is allowed to say whatever she likes on facebook, (although I guess she is supposed to be getting rid of it). Basically she has no discipline. It breaks my heart because she is such a smart girl. I have offered for her to come live with me, to stay with me for the summer, and it is always "no." Apparently she is going to spend a month with her uncle and aunt who also smoke pot! My sister's explanation for that is that they are discreet! There are two other kids, younger boys who live there, (my nephews).... so far no drug danger there. I wish I could adopt them all. I feel so helpless.
Permanent custody of foster child (family) vs adoption?
The only foster care I have dealt with is that of my niece and her sister- my husband and I fostered them both as infants and eventually adopted them. A friend of mine has had her sister's son (8 yrs old) for a year. The parents are married, both have drug and physical abuse problems. They haven't really been doing what they need to get their son back, so the state stopped all reunification and granted my friend permanent custody instead of terminating the parents rights. She said that the parents can 'apply' to start reunification again if/when they are ready and possibly get their son back. The process is lengthy and pretty unusual, according to the social worker. I am having a hard time understanding how it would be good for this child (who has already been abused and neglected and then taken from his parents and seen with his own eyes that they didn't fight to get him back) to all of a sudden be forced to start reunification and maybe go back with them after a year, 2, 3 etc go by? I am all for reunification when the parents really want to do it and make the effort. I do believe that the best case scenario is for a child to be with their parents as long as they are stable and healthy and take care of the child. However, the thought that they could just wake up and decide to start 'behaving' and take their child back... honestly scares me! He loves being where he is (with 3 boy cousins his age) and being able to see his family, etc. He is SAFE and has a stable home who will take care of his needs (he has a lot of learning disabilities that his parents never helped with). Do you think they chose that route because of his age and the fact that he is with his aunt? Thanks for the info!!
How old were you when you were told you were adopted?
I’m an adoptive dad not an adoptee but I’ll answer from that point of view. My son was nearly 5 when the stork left him under our gooseberry bush. So at that point he already knew he was going to have a new mum and dad.In the subsequent years his adoption has always been something which we have been completely open about with him so it has never been a secret. Our “mantra” being “the truth, and nothing but the truth, but not necessarily the whole truth”. It’s served us well.We have met, with him, members of his birth family many times - and he knows them and knows how he is related to them.When he is 18 he will ask to see his full files. We don’t anticipate there being any surprises in there for us, though he may find it hard reading about his early life even though he knows about it - seeing it written down in cold social work language will be upsetting.But we think this has been a healthy approach. My best friend when I was aged 5–10 was a little girl who had been adopted. She knew and was happy to tell people about it - though at that age we had little understanding of what it meant. That had a strong influence on my later attitude to being open, although in the event it would never have been an option to keep it a secret.In any case, as we had lived in the same area for 10 years, the sudden arrival of a 5 year old in our previously childless house would not have gone un-noticed!