Honestly am i a good writer?
A few things: - The spelling and grammar really is a huge issue - it's truly appalling here, and I find it a little difficult to believe that someone whose spelling, punctuation and grammar is usually good would type this badly, even if they were doing it quickly. Presumably if this is something you wrote recently, you'd have pasted it in anyway. Whatever - only you know how bad or good your grammar is usually, so you know whether it's something you need to sort out. Based on this, I'd say it definitely is. - You switch tenses in both of them at least once. Decide whether the events of your story *were* happening or whether they *are* happening, and keep it that way. - I understand that you're probably trying to make the mother in the second passage come across as fake, but the repetition of the word "baby" made me cringe a little - at the writing, not at the character. - "He tortured me for minutes on end" - what precisely is happening there? From just the extract you've given, I have absolutely no idea what this "torture" entails. Obviously, it's something incredibly unpleasant, but while you certainly don't have to go into graphic description, I feel that if you've specifically mentioned it like that, your reader really has to have some idea beyond this of what is happening. Think about whether you're comfortable with writing what is actually happening and can make it come across as real to the people reading. If you're not or you can't, take it out. Ending a paragraph with the narrator trying to fight off the man and starting a new one with him walking away would be far more effective than something which leaves the reader feeling more confused than sympathetic. In my opinion, this does. - I wouldn't read any further based on either of these, but I do think you have potential. Keep practising. If there's anyone you can show your work to who could give you some constructive criticism, do that. If you're allowed, there are sites you can post your writing to, and get feedback from.